Sell Out.... (56)

Mar 1, 2015 2:20 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
peachmelba: I would say I have compromised myself with men after my marriage breakup,

I would say myself and my ex compromised each other for a long time to try make things work,

Just we had grown so apart,.




Sometimes two people who have been together for a long time and grown apart need to separate in order to be free and grow as a person ,

If we and my ex hubby had of stayed together we would have destroyed each other,

Tho separation was like a death for the two of us at the time it was for the best for the two of us,

It would of been selling ourselves short to have stayed together,

And from separation after time came a mutual respect and moving on that takes time,
Mar 1, 2015 2:22 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
peachmelba: Sometimes two people who have been together for a long time and grown apart need to separate in order to be free and grow as a person ,

If we and my ex hubby had of stayed together we would have destroyed each other,

Tho separation was like a death for the two of us at the time it was for the best for the two of us,

It would of been selling ourselves short to have stayed together,

And from separation after time came a mutual respect and moving on that takes time,




Omg got carried away writing thete ,

Okay I'm off,

motorcycle
Mar 1, 2015 2:22 PM CST Sell Out....
annaroach
annaroachannaroachLimerick, Ireland217 Threads 6,747 Posts
Fraya: My understanding of the thread is being put in a position, for the sake of a romantic relationship, where one has to forego to a degree that which defines the individual. Hence the compromise? Perhaps I am misunderstanding this.


I understood it to mean forego completely, that which defined the
individual,, i'm sure the poster will clear this up latergrin
Mar 1, 2015 2:26 PM CST Sell Out....
Fraya
FrayaFrayaCork, Ireland1 Threads 3,762 Posts
peachmelba: Omg got carried away writing thete ,

Okay I'm off,


Shoot from the hip Peach, its what you do so wellhandshake
Mar 1, 2015 2:27 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Fraya: Compromise has to happen for a relationship to exist, let alone last. Obviously if its an unhealthy one do a runner at first opportunity. For two individuals to exist together harmoniously, compromise has to feature.




Well yes in that context it does,

cheers
Mar 1, 2015 2:29 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Fraya: Shoot from the hip Peach, its what you do so well




Ah bit too much sometimes Freya,


Go girl your turn.

hug .


cheers
Mar 1, 2015 2:31 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
peachmelba: Ah bit too much sometimes Freya,Go girl your turn.

.




Actually I need to shoot from the hip more,


professor ,lol,lol
Mar 1, 2015 2:32 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
peachmelba: Actually I need to shoot from the hip more, ,lol,lol




Freya is the women's mentor on here,


ireland .


cheers ,lol,

Have a good one Freya .
Mar 1, 2015 2:37 PM CST Sell Out....
Fraya
FrayaFrayaCork, Ireland1 Threads 3,762 Posts
peachmelba: Ah bit too much sometimes Freya,Go girl your turn.

.


Ah I suspect you are more controlled than you say
Mar 1, 2015 2:38 PM CST Sell Out....
annaroach
annaroachannaroachLimerick, Ireland217 Threads 6,747 Posts
But if you "sell out" that which defines you, for love of someone
doesn't that in itself bring resentment later on , any compromise goes out the window ,if you deny yourself something which makes you happy
conversing
Mar 1, 2015 2:40 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Fraya: Ah I suspect you are more controlled than you say




I do take a few deep breathes now and again,


Or think of rob Kearny,


Ahhh.

smitten .

Lol.
Mar 1, 2015 2:43 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
annaroach: But if you "sell out" that which defines you, for love of someone
doesn't that in itself bring resentment later on , any compromise goes out the window ,if you deny yourself something which makes you happy




Love and lust can be blind, ie we are blinded at the time,

No need for resentments tho later ,
Mar 1, 2015 2:48 PM CST Sell Out....
I wrote a load of guff here a minute ago and thought, well, it all sounds a bit "woe is me"....to cut the BS, Freya and Anna, you are both correct at a point....
Sell Out is when compromise feels conscripted...and yes, i have been there....nobody's fault but mine, and the funny thing is, I have repeated the same pattern a couple of times since.....
To paraphrase the song..."the things we do for love"....
Is there a lesson learned at this late hour.....I should co-coa....

dancing
Mar 1, 2015 2:48 PM CST Sell Out....
Fraya
FrayaFrayaCork, Ireland1 Threads 3,762 Posts
annaroach: But if you "sell out" that which defines you, for love of someone
doesn't that in itself bring resentment later on , any compromise goes out the window ,if you deny yourself something which makes you happy


If I want to get up early for a walk or a swim before work I will do it quietly (no music or loud noises) because he is still asleep. If he wants to use the kitchen table for poker with his mates after dinner I will not insist on using it as an ironing board. Not unreasonable compromise.

If he insists I never swim in the sea again because he believes its a bad idea or I adamantly disapprove of poker because I don't like it, not sustainable compromise.
Mar 1, 2015 2:50 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
peachmelba: Love and lust can be blind, ie we are blinded at the time,

No need for resentments tho later ,




What I mean is if we are besotted with someone at the time our judgement might be clouded as to see or even want to see that something on the sub conscience level is not quite right,


So therefore we can compromise ourselves because we are unaware at the time,

Or simply just get into a pattern of habitual that it becomes the norm as we are creatures of habits,

I suppose it's all down to the individual and mental state etc as to when we are awakened to make changes for the better in ourselves and sometimes people will and sometimes minds and eyes are closed so to speak,
Mar 1, 2015 2:51 PM CST Sell Out....
annaroach: But if you "sell out" that which defines you, for love of someone
doesn't that in itself bring resentment later on , any compromise goes out the window ,if you deny yourself something which makes you happy


I was writing my guff when you posted this...YES, point well made....
Mar 1, 2015 2:52 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Fraya: If I want to get up early for a walk or a swim before work I will do it quietly (no music or loud noises) because he is still asleep. If he wants to use the kitchen table for poker with his mates after dinner I will not insist on using it as an ironing board. Not unreasonable compromise.

If he insists I never swim in the sea again because he believes its a bad idea or I adamantly disapprove of poker because I don't like it, not sustainable compromise.




Freya don't think the thread is about that type of compromise,

thumbs up
Mar 1, 2015 2:54 PM CST Sell Out....
Fraya
FrayaFrayaCork, Ireland1 Threads 3,762 Posts
peachmelba: Freya don't think the thread is about that type of compromise,


I completely missed the point then
Mar 1, 2015 2:56 PM CST Sell Out....
annaroach
annaroachannaroachLimerick, Ireland217 Threads 6,747 Posts
About_Blank: I wrote a load of guff here a minute ago and thought, well, it all sounds a bit "woe is me"....to cut the BS, Freya and Anna, you are both correct at a point....
Sell Out is when compromise feels conscripted...and yes, i have been there....nobody's fault but mine, and the funny thing is, I have repeated the same pattern a couple of times since.....
To paraphrase the song..."the things we do for love"....
Is there a lesson learned at this late hour.....I should co-coa....



That's it,, sorted so!!cheers
Mar 1, 2015 3:01 PM CST Sell Out....
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Compromise can mean a mutual agreement to differ ,,give and take,


Another compromise can mean .


I will not compromise myself by doing something that I don't like or have distaste for or do not agree with for the sake of that other person to suit their needs or ideals when it is not my own,

I'm just giving an example,
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