Tell a Joke/Story (35)

This is a bricklayers accident report, which was printed in the news letter of the Australian equivelant of the workers Compensation Board. this is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin award for sure.

Dear sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of the accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will suffice.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new 6 storey building. when I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left overwhich, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them down by hand, using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

Then, I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report that I weigh 135lbs. due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go off the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downwards at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the Accident Report Form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to tightly hold the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. as you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here, my luck begen to change slightly. the encounter with the barrel seemed toslow me enough to lessen my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind, and let go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. this explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Now it's your turn!

Gotta love a good joke!

Your turn now!

Nice to meet ya Tom!

Likewise.

I walked into a bar on Saturday, man was it painful!

Damn, I know so manny great jokes in slo and cro..

But here is another good one- at least in my oppinion



For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His
father said, "Son, I would really love to give you one and I feel awful not fulfilling your wish, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door
with a suitcase. So he asked,"Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him," I was walking past your bedroom last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too, and I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no f#@%^!*g bike!

It was an Iron bar!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm...
you lost me a bit here-?

!!!!!