Help My 16 yr. old son made a dumb decision! (33)
NtxredCeleste, USA35 Threads 486 PostsI need some parental advice here. About a month ago my 16 yr. old son was spending the night at a friends house. There were a total of 7 boys in the house. 4 of them my sons age and then one of them has an older brother (21 yrs. old) and 2 of his friends. Well.. after the Mother went to bed, the 21 yr.old decided to let the younger ones drink. One of the boys my sons age has a jeep. They all tried to talk him into going mudding in the jeep and he told them that he didn't want to go, but if they could find his keys that they could take his jeep. Well.. you guessed it.. they found the keys. One of the 21 yr. old boys was driving and they got the jeep stuck in a ditch. They called my sons uncle to pull them out with his wrecker, brought the jeep back and that was that. The next morning, the boy who owned the jeep got up and left to go to home. He came back saying that there was damage to the jeep and found out that they had took the jeep mudding. He told his parents that they were all drinking and the boys stole the jeep and wrecked it. The Mother called all of the parents whos kids were involved and started naming all this damage done to the jeep. We agreed that she should get an estimate of the damages our boys caused and that we would pay the cost. She took the jeep and had work done on it (including replacing the top that was already torn). She had power steering pump, exhaust work rear end work done to it and sent us all a bill. I called and questioned the wrecker driver and he said that the jeep was stuck and that was it. In my opinion, we shouldn't be charged for the new top and for getting the jeep in mint condition. Only for damages that could have resulted in them getting it stuck. Any advice or comments on this?
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Get 2 more estimates, avg the damage and modify the $ by Kelley bluebook.
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i wouldn't pay for anything ,, it should be up to the parent of the kid driving.. plus, i would just pay for the tow truck nothing more..
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But the thing is.. she never sent us an estimate first.. she just took the jeep and had all the work done and sent us the final bill. So, the jeep now has everything fixed, even the top that was torn before they even took it.
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I don't wanna stick the entire bill on the drivers parents. It was all of the boys idea to take the jeep. I think they should all have a part in paying for the damages and not just the one that was actually driving it.
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Not really enforceable then, as you aren't given your choice of where you wanted to get it done - any insurance companies contacted for this? If not.. she really has no legal standing whatsoever unless police report was filed for underage drinking.
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by law that 21 year old is liable for an under age drinker...
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Nothing was filed with the insurance or the police. We were just trying to do the right thing and pay for any damages that our boys might caused to the vehicle.
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Yes.. that is true. But there was never a report made that they were drinking or that the jeep was stuck. We agreed to settle it between ourselves.
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a cousin of mine that is 21 and a few under age kids were driving drunk . a 16 yr old was driving my cousins car because he wasn't drinking, he missed a curve because it was dark and didn't know the road, he hit a telephone pole and my cousin was badly hurt. but guess who was the one in trouble. my cousin..
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well you could say well your son was serving under age kids booze and see what she will come up with then i bet it will change her thinking.
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I would have to say let her take it to court. She will have to prove that all of that damage was done that night. Although you are right to help pay, you are not responsible for damages that were pre-existing. In all honesty though, you dont know if some of the other stuff go tore up the way they were driving it. I would still take it to court and let the judge decide what is fair. I would just tell her that until there is a court date, you wont be paying for the repairs.
JMHO
JMHO
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thats good but she is pulling the wool over you by trying to make you pay for something your son did not do right?
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Yes.. the boys are going to work to pay off their part. I just think that the mother shouldn't expect them to pay for something that was already damaged. I never said that they shouldn't pay! If you read above, when I was advised that it was the drivers responsibility, I replied that all of the boys should split the cost because it was all of their bad decision. I think you might have missed my question here.
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the owner of the jeep needs to be responsible as well
he said they could take it
prorate the bill for the work done
it was not in mint condition when they took it
deduct the top if ripped b4
owner should be responssible for 1/2 their son is ultmaltly reponsible to his parent
his parent trusted him and obvouisly should not have a lesson for them as well
just a thought
but hey what do i know
he said they could take it
prorate the bill for the work done
it was not in mint condition when they took it
deduct the top if ripped b4
owner should be responssible for 1/2 their son is ultmaltly reponsible to his parent
his parent trusted him and obvouisly should not have a lesson for them as well
just a thought
but hey what do i know
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I do know that the top was already torn and the boy even told me that himself. So, even her son knows that she is trying to get the top mixed into the deal to get it paid for.
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I do understand what you are saying here but my first instinct was along the same lines as WIckid (as usual). ---- These boys were drinking (some underage) and driving. The fact that they only have to pay to restore a jeep is pretty minimal don't you think. They could have payed with a life -- theirs or somebody completely innocent. I think they are getting off very easy and the bills should be paid graciousfully.
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Thanks for the good advice. I didn't think about his part of the bill. So maybe I should just take the repairs without the cost of the top and split it 6 ways and she can either accept that or take it to court.
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I did not misread your question...and i aplogize if i offended...this is just my own personal view of the situation...and did not mean to imply it is the right/correct view...forgive me...
I do not exist in a world where I "pass the buck" or try to "split" the blame...if a wrong was committed and my child is wrong i do not feel it is my place to advise the "other" parents where the line should be drawn and what amount of responsibility each child should assume...that is their decision...I can only raise and do whats right by my own children....and no it has not always been fair, and yes it can become costly....
What i do know is that my children know that regardless of "who" is to blame...as long as they are present in that company "I" will hold them responsible...they do not have a mind that they share...I made them each individually with a mind of their own...
My mom used to always tell me...
"Tell me who your friends are...and i'll tell you who YOU are"...
I do not exist in a world where I "pass the buck" or try to "split" the blame...if a wrong was committed and my child is wrong i do not feel it is my place to advise the "other" parents where the line should be drawn and what amount of responsibility each child should assume...that is their decision...I can only raise and do whats right by my own children....and no it has not always been fair, and yes it can become costly....
What i do know is that my children know that regardless of "who" is to blame...as long as they are present in that company "I" will hold them responsible...they do not have a mind that they share...I made them each individually with a mind of their own...
My mom used to always tell me...
"Tell me who your friends are...and i'll tell you who YOU are"...
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