what the heck are we supposed to do, if we all have our guard up? ( Archived) (30)

strip chest.

nooo chess...lol. I'm pretty good, so I get to watch more,
Check mate, lol

Most people put their guard up for several reasons. I think the biggest reason is past experiences or being afraid of what might happen. No one wants to deal with the same experience again, especially if it was a bad one. I do it myself. Sometimes is just a caution issue. Being honest is ok, unless it might hurt someone else. Some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes I take it slow and sometimes I take it fast. It depends on the situation. My advice, feel out the situation and do what makes you and the other person comfortable. But most of what makes you comfortable. If you can't be yourself, who can you be?

Everyone has their guard up, including me, Yami. You know that from what I mentioned about my past. :)

Just be yourself, go slow but not too slow. Feel a person out, talk a lot and see how they are. Trust your gut. Look for red flags. Things that may seem "odd" or out of place. That's exactly what I do. For example, I received a first e-mail from someone here and they immediatly gave an outside e-mail. Not too odd on it's own so I e-mailed them. Their reply came back from that address but it had a guy's name on it.

Now that's a little strange...

Thanks every one for their comments.
Since I posted this thread I have learned some many things, through people experiences, my own and comments. I think that love comes softly, it gets to you when you're not looking. One thing I have noticed it doesn't come easy, always comes with challenges, to see how strong can it be or if it is for real. Don't know the answer yet. Guard up, guard down? just need to use commond sense and remember that words are just words, if the person really care, need to show it with actions, words there are just not enough for me. If he comes, I'll be waiting, fast or slow time?, patience, hope, good faith will determine that. One thing for sure I am who I am and I always will be, if I'm not comfortable with myself who will be?

Yes Yami, you hit the nail on the head. My mother always told me, "actions speak louder than words". And you're right. All the good words in the world don't mean *anything* by themselves. You can always wait and see. If someone is your destiny, then you will be with them. If not, then forcing it is no good either.

Thanks Jory you're a sweet heart!

It's like riding a bike; have to keep on keeping on. You don't learn anything by playing it safe.

Ie with yourself, who will you be? Ask yourself who is making you "uncomfortable"; yourself in this endless silly game or another person, perhaps a potential suitor...and why or how could that come about?
Alas, the World is but a stage to pardy Shakespeare, and at times we all have to play different roles, but that doesn't mean giving up our own character of what is "us"; we merely adapt, assume the roles as we can crasp them a bit of "role playing" as it were..your own self can still come through but in the end, honesty is always the best policy; you never have to worry about tripping over any lies or deceptions, let alone intentionally hurt some ones heart. "Play it by ear" but you also can't avoid a face-to-face meeting if you truly want it without a lot of risk, emotionally; I always expect the worst and very surprised, pleasantly if it doesn't occur; works for me; the dissapointments are kept to a bare minimum that way;skepticism is healthy...:)