I agree with you, excellent! "Marriage is what you make of it...It's relevant if you want it to be...it's important if you believe it is...Happiness is something to strive for and to work for..
We'll always have problems, with our kids, parents, co-workers, employers, family members, friends. What do we do? If we really care and want we make and do everything that is possible to have a good relationship, to make it as happy and harmonious as it can be. Marriage is not the exception; the problem is, as any relationship mention, it needs two, willing and eager to make it happen! As I have said it before, it is two way street, need two to tango!!
Most of us, we would like to have a happy marriage that last for as long as we live, we also would like to have a comfortable house, a car like this or that, a beautiful garden or and many good things in life, the problem is that all those things including marriage need constant attention and maintenance if not they will deteriorate and soon gone! Gone as marriage is not longer relevant for some people, sad isn't it?
Hello Kami, before anything wish you the best of luck! I did some research for you and found the following:
BREATH , Take 5 to 10 minutes and just sit in a chair, not leaning on the back but with your back straight and unsupported. Close your eyes and begin by focusing your attention on your breathing. Watch the breath move in and out and observe that your abdomen is moving out with the inhalation and in with the exhalation. Now, start the count to four with the inhalation and as you exhale count to four. Watch the movement and observe how the mind becomes calm. As you become more comfortable you may notice you can increase your count time to six in and six out. Practice slowly, don't be in a rush. If you stop and do this right now for 5 minutes you will open your eyes and notice a sense of calm prior to practice. You may not want to open your eyes and enjoy the feeling :)
DO SOMETHING YOU ENJOY, like listen to music, take a bubble bath, paint gardening, walk the dog, any activity that helps you relax and take your mind off of your exam.
NO CAFFENIE, take a cup of tea.
DO A PHISICAL ACTIVITY, exercise; activity releases muscle tension caused by stress.
Hello Ann, my sugestion is cocoyam cream, wich is aka Malanga, yautia, tannia, and tani is a tuber. You make a soup with, cocoyam (Malanga) chicken breast no grease and chicken broth or just salt, wait until is cold enough to put it in a blender and make a cream. It is wonderful for the stomach, I made couple of days ago and is really good. Malox is also wonderful.
# Take your time. Look before you leap the second time.
# Make sure you two have private time alone together.
# Learn how to compromise. You can't always have it your way.
# Don't try to be a super-stepparent. You won't succeed.
# Share your expectations with one another on a daily basis.
# Fight fair.
# Keep your sense of humor.
# Be honest.
# Set ground rules about dealing with the children.
# Don't put down ex-spouses in front of the kids.
# Discuss money matters up front before you marry. Make provisions for how your prior assets will be passed down to your children in the event of death.
# Treat one another with kindness and respect.
# Learn from your pasts.Resolve any unfinished business from your previous relationships.
My personal favorites TALK, TALK, TALK, COMMUNICATE, RESPECT & COMPROMISE.
If you're planning to tie the knot again, or if you're finding it more difficult than you expected the second time around, here are some tips that really do work.
# Do five nice things for your mate each day. This might include bringing her a cup of tea, telling her she looks great, offering to pick up her dry cleaning, giving her a big hug, telling her you love her.
# Set aside 20 minutes of talk time each day, with the focus being on the two of you.
# Do one social activity per week with your mate -- no children invited. Don't answer the telephone between 5 and 7 o'clock in the evening and designate several nights as no-television nights. This minimizes distractions and sets up a quieter atmosphere for togetherness.
# Don't take on any major household projects for at least two years after you say "I do." It's too stressful, and you need to be focusing on each other. Take primary responsibility for your children. This means when you have your children on the weekends or for six weeks in the summer, don't expect your mate to entertain them or act as the baby-sitter or figure out child-care plans. You make the arrangements.
# Don't tell your spouse how to raise his children. Only if asked should you make a suggestion, and then don't take it badly if he doesn't listen. Make your mate a priority some of the time. If she wants you to watch a movie and your son wants you to play ball, watch the movie -- not always, but sometimes.
# Thank your mate for what she does for your children. Don't take her willingness to help raise your children for granted.
# Expect the children to respect your privacy. Set boundaries. If your new husband resents the children coming into your bedroom, make it a rule that they stay out.
# Check with your mate before making or changing child-care arrangements.
# Turn off your telephone if your ex-mate calls at unreasonable times making demands of you. And don't stay on the telephone arguing with him or her. Your marriage doesn't need this baggage.
# Don't feel you should attend all your stepchildren's events, but do attend some of them.
# Be cognizant that your second partner is different from your first. Don't try to make your new spouse into someone else. Appreciate your mate for who he or she is and make sure you spend time working and playing together.
Hello everyone, I happily see that people are getting together. I wish the best to each and every couple and that is the reason of this thread. Here on CS there are so many wise and intelligent people and I am sure they have some advise, regarding this very serious and important part of our lives. The following articles, I found doing some research, all in a good intention, which are also good, even for myself.
What would you do if a doctor delivered the cold, hard truth that you had less than a 25 percent chance of surviving for five years? Most likely, you'd swear that you were going to beat the odds. You'd research everything you could find as to the cause for your affliction, and look desperately for a cure. You'd seek out others who'd survived in spite of the dire predictions, and look for support in how they'd overcome the same challenges you now faced.
The diagnosis for second marriages is just this grim. But the best defense against succumbing to its ugly demise is to adequately prepare for the real world of remarriage and blended families.
Thinking of remarrying? Think hard and long, I tell people, because if first marriages are fraught with danger (half of first marriages fail within eight years), the odds are even worse for second marriages, with 60 percent ending in divorce in five years. Why this higher failure rate the second time around? Experts believe that the biggest reason for failed second marriages is that the couple stops focusing on each other, and they stop doing things together once they tie the knot. They stop going to the movies and out to dinner and having those long talks that made their relationship good once upon a time. In addition, many people bring children from their first marriage into their second marriage, and even if the children are easy and agreeable, the added stress and strain can be formidable. And if a child is difficult, has trouble adjusting to his parent's new marriage, or is in the throes of adolescence, the marriage is at even higher risk. Ex-mates, ex-in-laws and child support payments also put extra stress on a second marriage.
Hello Sis, just a thought also a NOT RE ACT is also a reaction, base on responsability, consciousness, deliberacy, intencion, kidness, maturity and experience.
adj you are getting famous, you should start charging for the use of your line... but what do I know! lol
My final opinion on this Thread...I noticed some people haven't been here, long enough to understand what I tried to do, and it is perfectly ok, so there it goes....
The God I know is Love and as a parent,I do too love my kids no matter what, give us free will, as I do with my kids, will I hurt them, because of their choice? they are my flesh and blood, don't see myself doing that, but I do know that we are responsible of our actions and after every action there is a reaction, I do believe that. I always try my best to help whomever needs help, don't hurt anyone(at least not intentionally), treat people as I like to be treated and that is what I belive on. I don't waste my time, thinking if I will be safe or not, just do what is right(I already mention these above), noticed I said DO and NOT TALK, MORE ACTION, MORE HUMANITY AND HUMANITARIANS like Alexandra (AKDO) is what we need, with this said I get out running fast along with Lutz!
Erin I agree with you, the reason on my comments is to prevent people from being hurt, I have seen it over and over, even though is being said, if you don't like the topic of the thread, stay away, but then people come and make the author of the same, miserable, hurt and uncomfortable, some people can take it and some people cannot and sometimes due to their situation at the moment (and this is seems to be the case, she is hurt, looking for comfort and found sour comments, did it help my guess.. no). I personally try to stay away until I see someone being hurt, then I jump in, that is the reason of my comments. I don't like people to hurt somebody's feelings no matter whom, no matter the reason. Also I try to see each others point of view since no matter how many times is being said to keep away if you don’t have anything good to say and respect the author and their thread, someone will always jump in, because they are either hurt or uncomfortable or simply are cruel, disrespectful of others people feelings. Peace and respect is what I always recommend, do people listen? ……See my point.
My opinion about this type of Thread; it is that when, it is about any exclusivity religious or otherwise, people get annoyed, ticked by them, we all are exclusive, special and unique in our own ways, no one is better that others. Who holds the truth? We are all holder of our own truth; do to experiences, culture, or whatever personal reason or reasons. There are people in here, that are not religious but are far more humanitarian than many called religious people, and then are others that the only thing they know, is just talk about being good, criticized about other people that do not agree or are part of their religious group, but never do anything to help someone in distress, on the contrary sometimes and this btw, it is not being direct to none specific just talking by some experience and not all act this way but unfortunately a great majority do, they push you down and sometimes when trying to get up, keep the foot down on you, to make it more difficult to get up. I do believe in God but also believe in good actions and not just words, respect others religious and beliefs and try to avoid getting in any discussion about them, and as I said before, every one of us beliefs are base on experiences and we should respect that. To me, the reason why we all are here is because; we are either looking for someone or something missing in our lives (mostly loneliness) or have a little of fun, share some laughs and good time. In my opinion this type of religious, political, race issues should be kept either private and out the public forums to avoid bitterness and hurting other's people feelings and believes.
Yes I am the same person you see, my pic is from Dec.24 last year, my height 4'.11" by my Doctor and 5'2" drivers Lic. My comments are the same as they would be in a daily routine life. I never pretend someone I am not, then what? In my opinion I would never find what and who I was looking for.
Just a comment; these dating sites are great tools, and people really can find their match but only, if every one would be themselves and don't pretend or lie. It would be so much easier and less disheartens to find him/her.
Love it is not only says it but show it with actions in the good and bad times. In my opinion, why relationships fall apart:
Lack of communication, I read, some where that couples start talking very soft and sweet to each other at the beginning of the relation, they are very close to each other not need to raise their voices, then they start getting far and far apart and end up yelling to each other, why? Lack of communication. Every day in our lives we are growing and learning. Do we think or looks at things the same way as 5, 10 or as far as last week? My answer to that is no, so how can we grow together and not apart? communicating in a daily bases.
Work our differences or compromise, I'll say yes to this, we are different individuals with our own minds and thinking and way of being, could be do to the way we were raised, our experiences, culture, can be a tons of different things that makes us unique. Only people that are serious and mature enough can understand and work on this, in my opinion. Why relationships fell, because people don't want to work on these issues and want their way to be the only way, (selfishness), to me is finding a way to be comfortable With each other and work or compromise on the differences. Although, if the differences are too far from each other, my advise is not to get involve unless one or the other want to scarify their needs or likes for the other and that it is just not fair or real love form my point of view. Love is a two way street.
The only unconditional love I know of is the love between a mother and her child.
Well here is my opinion and it is just that, my opinion.
My advise to you would be, to be honest and tell her why you behaved the way you did. We all have had bad experiences in our lives and it is like an automatic reaction to try to protect our feelings from being hurt again. If she really cares about you, she will understands and maybe you both can turn something that seemed bad in something really good. Understanding and communication is a great tool in any relationship, good start.
I really hope it works; honesty to me will take you a long way.
Sharon, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!! Did I say that already!!!!!!!!
You are great person, you still have much to give. I really, really wish you can find a man who knows how to value and cherish someone like you, you much deserve it!!!!
Well, sorry to disagree, by personal experience, I can tell you, YES! you can fall in love, trough the internet with someone you haven't met yet, but have to admit it is rare, you get to know the person from the inside out, there is nothing else involved that your minds, feelings and if you are true your hearts. Also it depends on our maturity, the seriousness, respect and honesty that is why I recommend to anyone who is looking for a serious relationship, be yourself at all times. In my case, started posting on the forums, saying and giving my opinion as I will normally do in my daily life, he noticed me, as I posted and got interested (got to admit I noticed him too), I wasn’t looking for someone out of Florida, well started as just simple friendship, and confined on each other, then we started liking each other, he is as serious man and care a great deal about not hurting other people’s feelings and will not hurt either of us by telling things are just not true, turns out that I am not longer looking and so is he and our feelings get strong by the day!
We always find great tools in our lives, it always depends on the use we give them, if we use them, how we use them, it will determine if they can helps us in the journey or not, the tools are the same for everyone, what change is the hand who manages them, meaning us.
Don’t know if this is your case but wish you the best of luck!
Hello Chance, we don't much about each other, but I cannot pass by without saying anything. I have met women that have faced the same situation as you and have won the battle. I have read some of your post and I can see you are a strong and courage woman, hang in there, you will win this battle too!
And yes you are right there are so many wonderful men around here, God Bless them all!
sincerety Forum Posts (438)
RE: Is marriage still relevant.
I agree with you, excellent! "Marriage is what you make of it...It's relevant if you want it to be...it's important if you believe it is...Happiness is something to strive for and to work for..We'll always have problems, with our kids, parents, co-workers, employers, family members, friends. What do we do?
If we really care and want we make and do everything that is possible to have a good relationship, to make it as happy and harmonious as it can be. Marriage is not the exception; the problem is, as any relationship mention, it needs two, willing and eager to make it happen! As I have said it before, it is two way street, need two to tango!!
Most of us, we would like to have a happy marriage that last for as long as we live, we also would like to have a comfortable house, a car like this or that, a beautiful garden or and many good things in life, the problem is that all those things including marriage need constant attention and maintenance if not they will deteriorate and soon gone! Gone as marriage is not longer relevant for some people, sad isn't it?