The Gastronomical Bean Story ( Archived) (2)

Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrasing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day, he met a girl, and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, 'She is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on.' So, he made the supreme sacrifice, and gave up beans. They were married shortly thereafter.
Some months later his car broke down on the way home from work, and, since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a small cafe and the odour of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off any ill effects before he got home, so, he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving, he had eaten three large portions of baked beans. all the way home he putt-putted, and, after arriving home he felt that he had putt-putted his last. His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight": she then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the dining table. He seated himself, and just before she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. she made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned, then went to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity he shifted his weight to one leg, and let go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs.
He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him. things had just returned to normal, when he felt another urge coming on him, so he shifted his weight to his other leg and let go again. This was a true prize winner. while keeping his ear on the converstion in the hall, he went on like this for 10 minutes until he knew the phone farewells indicated the end of his freedom. He placed his napkin on his lap, and folded his hands on top of it, and smiling contentedly to himself, was the very picture of innocence. When his wife returned, apologising for taking so long. She asked if he had peeked, and he, of course, assured her that he had not.
At this point she removed the blindfold, and there was his surprise.

Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a 'Happy Birthday Party' for him.