How do you know? (50)
It is a big step. If I was you I would have an contingency plan.
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Right now my biggest decision is do I make arrangements to see him or not? Now or when?
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Well first off who's going where?
Who is coming to who's house?
Ya really don't know til ya meet trust me I know!
Who is coming to who's house?
Ya really don't know til ya meet trust me I know!
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I know too...
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I think that alot of that has to do with how much distance is between you both, maybe try to meet in the middle somewhere??? At least you should try some place public. As for the when though, thats all up to you two. Nobody can tell you what to do. You just have to follow your head, and your heart on that one.
As for the guy, Im really glad you met someone.
congrats
As for the guy, Im really glad you met someone.
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I would meet in a public place....and more than likely have someone else with me also.....be it friend, sibling....or cousin.....atleast....if something did go wrong.....there was a safety net....I have known people for nearly three years....just to find out I really did not know their true spirit at all....just my opinion.....
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hell what are you waiting for did you join this site to maybe meet someone or watch bannanas get killed just be safe and find out what do you have to lose
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hiya kimCarol...make him come visit you...that way you can feel more comfortable...make him stay at a hotel...at least for one night...you might know by the next day if you wanna take him home with you or not...don't rush anything...
I know Tom is an awesome guy and he wouldn't do anything to hurt you but you really never know before meeting in person!
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+ over 
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We can't meet in the middle. That would be the Atlantic Ocean!
As for who's going where and when.
I want him to come see me. It's not just a drop in for the day or go out for dinner. This has to be a several day visit as it is a major expense just to get here.
I want to make arrangements for the beginning of April so if we're going to do this we need to confirm soon. There are travel arrangements to be made.
I feel like if I don't take this leap I will never know if there really is some chemistry going on. If I do take the leap I am allowing myself to be very vulnerable.
As for who's going where and when.
I want him to come see me. It's not just a drop in for the day or go out for dinner. This has to be a several day visit as it is a major expense just to get here.
I want to make arrangements for the beginning of April so if we're going to do this we need to confirm soon. There are travel arrangements to be made.
I feel like if I don't take this leap I will never know if there really is some chemistry going on. If I do take the leap I am allowing myself to be very vulnerable.
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Thanks Stef, you just kind of lay it all out there!
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just trying to help love ------ This thread is Archived ------
I don't think she wanted his name to go public yet...
It is a major expense and you should think carefully about this dear. Will you feel comfortable out of your area? Is not only a leap of faith is a leap across the ocean!
Take advantage of the opportunity and have a mini-vacation. Maybe meet in a different town from yours but within the US, somewhere that doesn't have too many memories for yu, so you can have new ones, together.
Just my humble 0.02
That's what I would do if it was to happen, which I highly doubt.
It is a major expense and you should think carefully about this dear. Will you feel comfortable out of your area? Is not only a leap of faith is a leap across the ocean!
Take advantage of the opportunity and have a mini-vacation. Maybe meet in a different town from yours but within the US, somewhere that doesn't have too many memories for yu, so you can have new ones, together.
Just my humble 0.02
That's what I would do if it was to happen, which I highly doubt.
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everybody knows it's TOM
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sorry stef, I was thinking the samething love.
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How do you know? = When you realize that meeting won't interfere with being friends if romance becomes a part of the picture. If you've shared emotions (laughed, cried) on the phone together, then a big YUP!
When? = When you both have similar concerns: "Will he think I'm too old?" "Will she think I'm too tall?"
Re: vulnerability = DON'T be physically vulnerable (a bit emotionally, maybe?). (Or, you can bring an entourage, and if that doesn't scare him off, you're fine!!)
First step = after agreeing to meet, convenience of location (and other logistics, mode of transportation, etc.) should be taken into account, as should the degree of formality (coffee?, dinner?) When the time is right for both of you, it'll happen!
And, if you're as fortunate as a couple of folks we know, the rest--as they say--will be HISTORY! Above all else, ENJOY it!! (While it's okay for things to feel awkward, if at some point you realize that neither of you are enjoying being together, recognize that's it is perfectly okay to say "goodnight" and go your separate ways as friends.)
As for the "huge step," nothing ventured, nothing gained, girl!!
Jackson and The Kansan
When? = When you both have similar concerns: "Will he think I'm too old?" "Will she think I'm too tall?"
Re: vulnerability = DON'T be physically vulnerable (a bit emotionally, maybe?). (Or, you can bring an entourage, and if that doesn't scare him off, you're fine!!)
First step = after agreeing to meet, convenience of location (and other logistics, mode of transportation, etc.) should be taken into account, as should the degree of formality (coffee?, dinner?) When the time is right for both of you, it'll happen!
And, if you're as fortunate as a couple of folks we know, the rest--as they say--will be HISTORY! Above all else, ENJOY it!! (While it's okay for things to feel awkward, if at some point you realize that neither of you are enjoying being together, recognize that's it is perfectly okay to say "goodnight" and go your separate ways as friends.)
As for the "huge step," nothing ventured, nothing gained, girl!!
Jackson and The Kansan
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Created: Mar 2007
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Here's my questions:
How do you know when it's time to make that leap of faith and actually meet in person?
How vulnerable do you allow yourself to be? Meeting place, intimacy, etc.?
Who should take the first step toward meeting, the guy or the girl?
I've never done this before. It seems like such a huge step.