I need some advice... (8)

I have been seeing this guy now its been about 2 months. Things seem to be going great. Well at least I thought so.

This past week he has been acting different around me. Normaly he comes over almost every night and if not normaly calls me. This week since saturday he has come over once and that was for maybe an hour if even that.

Today was his birthday. Last week I had told him that if he had no plans that we could go out for dinner or that I could do something special for him here at home. He seemed to be happy with that. Well tuesday (day before his birthday) he tells me that he will be spending his birthday with his friends. Apparently his friends and roomates had planned something for him for a few weeks now. So why didn't he tell me that last week then??

If you were in a relationship wouldn't you want to spend your birthday with your bf/gf?? I mean in my nature I know I would like to at least spend some sort of time with the one I am with for my birthday. Does not neccasarily (sp?) all day or night but you know. At least arrange something right?

I also have this profile on Facebook and so does he. He tells me earlier tonight on the phone (I called him he did not call me) that he didn't like how I talked about my daily life on there. I never even mention his name and I don't even talk about personal things. Just the everyday thoughts and ponders like we do here know what I mean?

I asked him if there was something he was not telling me since he has not been over since saturday and barely says boo to me unless I make the first contact. He says there is nothing wrong. And gets all defensive saying he feels pressed by me all of a sudden. WTF?? He was the one who came to see me often and he knows I allow him his space. I never once pressured him into anything. So of course my first reaction this week was just plain innocent concern because he wasn't around. Its called Communication. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Wasn't looking to make an argument out of it.

I am upset to say the least and don't even know what to think right now. He is confusing me. He is distant this week but yet he e-mails me today saying how dear I was to him and then he freaks on me when I call him tonight to wish him happy birthday. And he even began the call by saying how super happy he was that I called him.

What is your take on this? Because honestly I don't know what to make of this anymore

Sounds like he's in fight or flight mode.

he's confused - maybe feeling things are moving to fast but yet still wants to be around..(even if it is him initiating)

My suggestion is to step back - give him space..sometimes when we pursue it pushes a man farther away. A womans view on communication is vastly different than a mans.
By asking him if there is something wrong slaps him into the defensive...not good.


JMO

Thanks.

That is what I thought too. Just wanted others input.

I guess I am just used to being open and talking about my feelings and I guess I might have intimidated him a little. I just wish he was at least open and honest with me. I don't have ESP and can't guess what he is thinking and feeling.

He did say he was coming tomorrow to see me and that we would discuss it more face to face. So will see I guess.

I guess I got spoiled of him coming over often and then all of a sudden its all different. Not used to that.

Thanks for your advice. Its a good one!

I'm with Taz on this one. Although, there is a limit to how long you wait for him to come out of his cave!!

While you wait - There's a great, well known book called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I highly recommend it to try to understand the differences between men and women and how our communications differ as well as how we each process things that happen in life.

Good luck to you Katine!

If your waiting for a guy to openly tell you what he thinks or feels it may be a long time - it's the very rare man that will honestly lay it out on the line.
He said - you would discuss it more face to face....hmmmm what do you think about that?

I agree with Taz to...but thier is some questions that need to be asked here....did he just come out of a long realtionship before you? cause i been here done that... I think when he feels alone or whatever need be he knows he can call you up and you be thier for him, but when he might not need something then he is elsewhere and wants nothing to do with you, that could be the case but you never know.. But i think we need some Men intake on this one more maybe we will get more insight on this one from them..

in the words of Dr. Gray from the book "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus"............"Men are like rubberbands" from what i've read in your post. maybe thats all that it is....maybe he feels like hes allowing himself to get to close and feels he needs to pull back before springing forward again..............who really knows....only he knows.....Hope things work out for the best.....or maybe theres a flag thrown in on the play....Follow your heart, follow your own gut instict....you are the best judge of what matters most to YOU.....Your friend Jason