A good man to love me? (32)

Hey Missy,

Sadly it is true. He went thru a marriage broker and an on-line site "cherry.com". What is even sicker is she has my name and is the same age I was when he first met and married me. Plus she has 2 little ones (2 1/2 & 3 1/2). I have remained friends with him because of the children that we raised together (my son - whom he adopted) and his children from previous marriages (that I adopted). They are all grown now but my son does love him very much. Since I have moved way past my feelings of being in-love with him, it is much easier to just remain friends/family and nothing more. He also works for me from his own home and is a consultant to me for my business when I need it - he is paid for all business interactions too so there is no misunderstandings. It is a very strange relationship to say the least even though I have lost total respect for him as have his own daughters. I wouldn't really say we're friends but if the other needs help or something like that we are there for each other. I do know that I can count on him for help if I need it as does my son (that is the only good thing really left in him now).

What bothers me are men who have children and they want a mother for their kids. If they read my profile they can see I don't want anymore children. I have had a lot of connections with men and that is what they are looking for! I've explained it well that I am done with raising kids (I raised 4 children) and it is finally ME time. For the 1st time in my 40 years of life I am finally at peace and happy inside and out. I have my home and business running the way I want them to be and I am finally able to come and go as I please now. That is another reason I don't want to live with a man again and thus why I posted a thread "NOT THE NORMAL RELATIONSHIP" a few months back.

I actually love dating now, especially since I no longer am looking to move towards the normal kind of relationship where marriage or moving in together would be involved. I keep all past baggage and events out of the conversation and focus on the here and now & the future. I now just have a great time dating as does my date.

I don't know if I will always feel this way but for now I am at where I want to be. What is so very strange is now I am asked out more than ever. I am having to turn dates down just so I can have some personal time. I get asked out on the dating sites and in person when I am out running errands and I am NOT DRESSED up or looking my best.

To all who are dating just have fun, enjoy each other's company. If there are no pressures to size someone up for the NEXT STEP IN A RELATIONSHIP, then the date can be an absolute BLAST!

That is a little freaky with the same name/age thing. Have you ever seen "The new adventures of old Christine"? It just popped in my head, lol. It's always good to keep a decent relationship with an ex when children's emotions are involved. My outlook on dating is like yours in a way. I am trying to live in the moment as well...no expectations. Takes alot of work for a woman to change this part of her, because it seems part of our nature...the need to be loved. However, I must say I have done it...so far, lol. So far I had one close call, but finally convinced myself otherwise. I like being single as well, it's an adventure with endless possibilities. There are days when you miss the married life (although I never was married...just wasted my youth on someone who was not right for me). To be able to wake with someone beside you, wake them with a kiss, then lie in bed and snuggle. But then I remember, I must not settle for less than I need. My days with my ex were not like that, and I see how people who truly love each other behave...when I do settle down, it will be with someone like them. Besides, I have 5 kids and don't want to deal with the drama of someone having to accept that. I may be single a very long time. Which is fine...for now. This is my first time out there in the dating world and I would like to get the full experience.