Online Dating ~ (16)
You're not the first to experience this, and I'm certain you wont be the last. I know that's cold comfort, but I'm not here to dish out sympathy... that's somebody elses job.
Consider this experience your 'baptism of fire' in the world of internet dating.
Consider this experience your 'baptism of fire' in the world of internet dating.
I do not want sympathy !
I was pre warned not to get attached to anyone...even after a phone call....So yes I have learnt...To be wary of some people!
Thanks for your advice !
I was pre warned not to get attached to anyone...even after a phone call....So yes I have learnt...To be wary of some people!
Thanks for your advice !
I see your point paws. Just because your chatting with someone and you get close to them does not give anyone the right to leave someone hanging. Honesty is important here, If your not interested just say so. If friends is all it is, let it be known.
Hey Paws
I "empathise" with you - I have met several great guys from online and I have had my share of players and ones who pretended to be something they aren't e.g. married etc
And hate to say it but am sure there are females who do the same.
The difficult thing to accept is when you try and be honest and upfront as an individual yourself, which you appear to be, and yet a simple courtesy or honesty is not returned. I try and put those experiences to a positive and say better to find out early as imagine the lack of respect etc you would get from them if things progressed.
Online can be a very positive experience - I have lived it and in fact not that different from the so called "real" world - just the non genuine types find it easy to be keyboard warriors and hide - and these types we are better off without as they are gutless wonders often and only here to play people.
Don't give up Paws - life is too short not to ride the adventure and for every down side there are many up sides.
I wish you well!
Cheers
I "empathise" with you - I have met several great guys from online and I have had my share of players and ones who pretended to be something they aren't e.g. married etc
And hate to say it but am sure there are females who do the same.
The difficult thing to accept is when you try and be honest and upfront as an individual yourself, which you appear to be, and yet a simple courtesy or honesty is not returned. I try and put those experiences to a positive and say better to find out early as imagine the lack of respect etc you would get from them if things progressed.
Online can be a very positive experience - I have lived it and in fact not that different from the so called "real" world - just the non genuine types find it easy to be keyboard warriors and hide - and these types we are better off without as they are gutless wonders often and only here to play people.
Don't give up Paws - life is too short not to ride the adventure and for every down side there are many up sides.
I wish you well!
Cheers
Thanks ...
I am not Down & Out..
Nor will I give up..I do try and be Positive...
As they Say ..
WHEN 1 DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER DOOR OPENS !
I am not Down & Out..
Nor will I give up..I do try and be Positive...
As they Say ..
WHEN 1 DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER DOOR OPENS !
You go Paws baby - you deserve the very best and nothing less!
I have not been here long either ?
But I have had my Share of getting burnt.But I think some Guy's here,think we are back in High school ?
They can be immature !
But Hey...They are not worth the Trouble!!!!!!!
javascript:emot('
');
peace
But I have had my Share of getting burnt.But I think some Guy's here,think we are back in High school ?
They can be immature !
But Hey...They are not worth the Trouble!!!!!!!
javascript:emot('
');peace
Just imagine a restaurant with a never ending menu.....
If your a glutton you will just keep on gorging ....
There are some who use these dating sites the same way.....its a never ending parade of prospectives and they just keep on gorging.
Unfortunately genuine people get hurt along the way......for the sake of feeding someone elses ego.
If your a glutton you will just keep on gorging ....
There are some who use these dating sites the same way.....its a never ending parade of prospectives and they just keep on gorging.
Unfortunately genuine people get hurt along the way......for the sake of feeding someone elses ego.
(hangs head in Shame for human race and exits) 
I don't think guys are too cowardly to say they are no longer interested, I think it's more like they are scared they have either directly or indirectly led you on.
I find that I often get to know someone online & make my mind up at some stage that it is 'Friendship' and nothing more, while the other person starts saying things that make you think they want more than that.
The whole world knows that guys typically don't show their feelings, usually because they are taught from birth to hide them, "Be a man", "Boys dont cry", "Boys shake hands, not hug" etc etc, so when a guy hears, 'we should go out sometime', they can be forgiven for believing that means nothing more than 2 mates going out for a drink or 2, especially if the guy has the 'Friend' mindset.
Therefore I feel that most guys, (and I will not stereotype ALL guys) don't even know when a lady has feelings for them, Blinded by their own masculinity mostly. So when it does become clear, they don't know how to handle it & often turn & run. It's not cowardice, just misunderstanding.
The male gender is starting to make a move to the more sensitive type that women want, but this is a slow process usually hampered by other people (men and women inclusive) telling him to 'Stop being a girl!' or "Man up!'
But in the meantime, be patient with us, we are only human after all.
Best of luck Paws & don't give up.
I find that I often get to know someone online & make my mind up at some stage that it is 'Friendship' and nothing more, while the other person starts saying things that make you think they want more than that.
The whole world knows that guys typically don't show their feelings, usually because they are taught from birth to hide them, "Be a man", "Boys dont cry", "Boys shake hands, not hug" etc etc, so when a guy hears, 'we should go out sometime', they can be forgiven for believing that means nothing more than 2 mates going out for a drink or 2, especially if the guy has the 'Friend' mindset.
Therefore I feel that most guys, (and I will not stereotype ALL guys) don't even know when a lady has feelings for them, Blinded by their own masculinity mostly. So when it does become clear, they don't know how to handle it & often turn & run. It's not cowardice, just misunderstanding.
The male gender is starting to make a move to the more sensitive type that women want, but this is a slow process usually hampered by other people (men and women inclusive) telling him to 'Stop being a girl!' or "Man up!'
But in the meantime, be patient with us, we are only human after all.
Best of luck Paws & don't give up.
Josh thanks for your input.....I hear what you are saying 
However.... how hard is it for a male or female to say.....
I like you but want frienship only.
Very easy.....straightforward words....not easy to misinterperate.
Ive said them numerous times and people knew where they stood.
Its the ones who dont say this and use the words love loosely that cause confusion and ultimately pain for someone else.
Put simply......we all need to take responsibility for our actions...we are supposed to be adults after all.
However.... how hard is it for a male or female to say.....
I like you but want frienship only.
Very easy.....straightforward words....not easy to misinterperate.
Ive said them numerous times and people knew where they stood.
Its the ones who dont say this and use the words love loosely that cause confusion and ultimately pain for someone else.
Put simply......we all need to take responsibility for our actions...we are supposed to be adults after all.
Hi Riva
I agree, but..
While it might be easy for you or I to say this, other people don't find the words quite so easy, talking & expressing is a skill learnt by few.
Yeah we all need to take responsibility for our actions, but some people just naturally have a hard time doing that.
And as far as using the word love loosely, those who haven't loved cannot possibly understand what it is to love & therefore often confuse love & lust.
In a perfect world only the players would be the ones who got hurt, unfortunately this is not a perfect world & we learn through pain, we just have to decide whether to grow from it or not.
I agree, but..
While it might be easy for you or I to say this, other people don't find the words quite so easy, talking & expressing is a skill learnt by few.
Yeah we all need to take responsibility for our actions, but some people just naturally have a hard time doing that.
And as far as using the word love loosely, those who haven't loved cannot possibly understand what it is to love & therefore often confuse love & lust.
In a perfect world only the players would be the ones who got hurt, unfortunately this is not a perfect world & we learn through pain, we just have to decide whether to grow from it or not.
Well said and responded
Is it that society teaches every one their rights.....
but forgets to mention the rights of others..
Is it that society teaches every one their rights.....
but forgets to mention the rights of others..
Well Josh all I can say is try being a female and you will discover most times a guy even after u have met, possibly a few dates, even got intimate - if he does an about face and thinks this is not for me - nine times out of ten they just disappear without any word, maybe an sms message if you lucky (which is not the right way to do it but at least something) - very gutless in my books - usually, not always, females will at least say sorry I am just not into you that way but happy to be a friend.
All boils down to common respect and courtesy not just this "big boys don't cry" or show emotions mentality, but the world so lacks that simple gesture these days.
I have a 16 yr old son who has been dating his girlfriend for 12 months and they are very much into each other and great mates. I can only hope the newer generation of young men will demonstrate the right way to treat a lady and not to use etc and also the courage and guts to say how it is for them if not feeling similar to the other. So far so good with my son - I hope he is an example of better times ahead for male/female relationships.
All boils down to common respect and courtesy not just this "big boys don't cry" or show emotions mentality, but the world so lacks that simple gesture these days.
I have a 16 yr old son who has been dating his girlfriend for 12 months and they are very much into each other and great mates. I can only hope the newer generation of young men will demonstrate the right way to treat a lady and not to use etc and also the courage and guts to say how it is for them if not feeling similar to the other. So far so good with my son - I hope he is an example of better times ahead for male/female relationships.
More Threads
See It All The Time
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
makeover
I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
your favorite topic?
Would you hire this guy - for any job?
One week of the most outrageous GOP leadership!
Have it both ways!
Kultur-multur
The weird and the random facts around the world
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
1,136 Views
15 Comments
Created: Jul 2007
Last Viewed: Apr 7
Last Commented: Jul 2007
0 Likes
Related Forums
- See It All The Time
- More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
- makeover
- I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
- your favorite topic?
- Would you hire this guy - for any job?
- One week of the most outrageous GOP leadership!
- Have it both ways!
- Kultur-multur
- The weird and the random facts around the world
I have been online dating around 6 months ?
Why is it with men....That some are too much of a coward to step up & say that they are no longer interested....
They would rather ignore you ?javascript:emot('
blues
They have no sense of consideration of the other person,
Where are the proper Gentlemen?
I was hurt by this....But I have learnt that some MEN.... are Cowards...They have no Guts....to be a Man..( mouse ) more like it !
So what if you do or not live in the same Country...That does not give the other person the right to play with your EMOTIONS!
Some Men are considerate...but not all ?
But I wish that If a man does read this...that he might not HIDE behind his computer & tell the woman that it is over...
as Feelings are an Emotional Indulgence
NOT BAGGAGE !
Some people are here to find friendship/relationships....
NOT MIND GAMES !