cheer me up! ( Archived) (44)

THE BLIND MAN AND THE FISH
==========================

The Blind man strolls out into the open air market to do some shopping, he goes to each booth , as he passes the fish vendor he tips his hat and says Good morning ladies .

too funny!!!!!!

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that - it never worked."

This too shall pass. Feel better soon.

lol. alternative lifestyle types - how every PC of you!

Yeah.... never heard that one before!!

How about coming to Malta for some Sunshine and a wild night out :-) You feel a hell of a lot better

He's an ex-copper...they all know how to dance the PC fandango if they care to exert themselves...

Blond Jokes

=========================

why do blondes have T.G.I.F on their shoes?



Answer: Toes Go In First

==========================

this blondes boyfriend was in the drive way and the blonde came runing out and she started jumping up and down like 10 times and he said what are u so happy about and she said we are haveing a baby and he said kool and she said we are having twins and he said how do u know she said i took 2 pregency tests and they said that i was pregnet !!

============================

There is this blonde and she goes into the store and says can i buy that tv
and the lady says no we don't sell to blondes, so she leaves and then she
dies her hair brown, she goes back into the store and says can i buy that tv
and the lady said no we dont sale to blondes she said "how do you know
im a blonde". And the store lady said"Because thats not a tv its a
microwave.

===========================

a Blonde a brunnette and a red head escape from prison, so they run and hide in a barn. Each one of them hide in a sack each.
so a cop comes in and goes over to the sack with the red head in it, and kicks it, so she says MEOW. So he thinks it’s a bag of Kittens,
he then goes to the brunnettes bag, kicks it and she saysWOOF so he thinks its a bag of puppies.
so he goes to the last bag where the blonde is, he kicks it and the blonde says POTATOES.
So they are all back in Prison AGAIN, but manage to escape, but they escape to the roof. so the prison guards are out. and a guard says to the 3 of them right if you jump down the roof onto this sheet that we r holding we will put you’s in your cell and that will be it finished with. SO they agree and the red head decides to go 1st. she jumps down and the guards pulls the sheet away, so she splats on the ground. they say right you brunnette your turn. well she hesitates and the guards explains it was only a joke. so she jumps and, again the guards pull away the sheet and she splats on the ground, so then they tell the blonde it’s her turn.well she says NO im no stupid you will do the same to me as you did the last two. so she says tell you what you put the sheet on he ground and step away away from it.