Why does being seperated, have kids, is so hard to accept by some? (40)

I have not looked at other posts on your thread . I was interested to get to know a Maltese girl whom had been separated for some years and our friendship continued until she mentioned that couples can not get divorced under the Maltese law . I could go no further because we could not find a solution for that . To get into a serious relationship you need to consider everything seriously . I think you need to find a way to divorce your X first .

That's another very valid reason, hard as it may seem.

Well yes now that we are in EU, we should adopt divorce whether the catholic church likes it or not. I have talked about this before, for those who do not know, we have to go through another tribunal here not just the legal one but also the church one to TRY to annull the marriage. I never understood how a priest who was never married can decide whether my marriage has valid reasons to be annulled or not! This takes a number of years to be achieved...prolonged agony!! Besides you would have to cough up a few thousands of Liri to get this marriage annullment, if youre lucky. For me it is no big issue as even IF I had to get married again one day I would just get married legally and never I mean NEVER again go through church.

The only option we have is to go live in a EU country for 6 months and get divorced there. Here it won't be recognised but then you could stuff the Maltese law and get married elsewhere!!

So you mean to tell me that your love for a partner is based on weekends or whenever they have their child/ren with him or her? Well i think, that is not a fact. I think love is based on accepting the person who he is and what he has.

What about all those single mothers that get abandoned by the one who got them pregnant? Should they be left at home cause it's their child and don't have a second chance?

Sometimes i think we are so selfish

For whatever it may , or may not be useful, the grounds for annulments are fairly clear and are spelled out in Canon Laws. If the grounds, reasons in your case are not challenged by either party, then either or both can apply for it to the Church tribunal that is made up of pretty fair minded people; men who happen to be priests and usually have a very good understanding of Canon Laws pertaining to annulments. It does not need to take years; that is determined by many factors; contesting the application is one of them.
Been there and done it within a matter of weeks. My application was not contested and duplicity was readily admitted by the other party.
Believe me, the Church authorities do not like to prolong these applications at all. Find yourself a copy of the Cannons and find the ones pertinent to your case. It isn't all that hard. Have Faith! %D

Yihaaa ... everybody deserves a second chance. In fact we all deserve as many chances as we need to get things right.

No, love for a partner is not based on weekends. However, for love to grow one needs time. I personally cannot build a relationship on a few stolen hours here and there. At a certain age most of us have a demanding career and the only time left is the weekend.

Perhaps as others have mentioned when both are seperated with children it is easier as they can meet in family places.

It is not so much a matter of selfishness but more of life style. I would never want a man to give up his time with his children to be with me ...that in my opinion would be selfishness.

Hi Brunette ... I believe that since in Malta there is civil marriage there should also be divorce. In fact this should have been introduced when civil marriage was made part of our law. But until then, have a look at the Canon Law, get some advice and if you have good grounds for an annulment - seek one. My marriage was annulled and it didn't take years nor thousands of Liri.

Whether you ever want to get married again, by the church or not, it is always best to get closure.

It's not just in this country single people are put off by getting involved with children or ex marrieds. It could be they just feel that the above equals an obstacle. Whether this is a right or wrong assumption is in the head of the one whoever is put off by the prospect of getting involved.

Obviously that is not the case the everywhere as people with children so have successful dating lives.

But isn't it better not to get into a relationship with someone who later on will obviously have a problem with your past.

But you are a women, he is a man. That makes a big difference!

Women can chose whom she wants to date, man have to take any chance, also women with children.

If he is not accepted by the women because they have better alternatives he is lost.
Women know for sure that a man with children has to pay most part of his income to the exwife and that there is no fat bacon for herself left. This limits the chances of man with children to nearly 0%.

Well said and well done. As a matter of fact i've been told this and i could hardly beleive it. it's easier for a man to accept a woman with a child than vice versa......but anyway i hope and i know that not everyone's the same.