Why does being seperated, have kids, is so hard to accept by some? (40)
Jeez, and I was thinking of settling in Malta!
Shaw said that the difference between a a ship and a prison was that you can also drown in the first.
An island and a ship? Has anybody the answer?
Shaw said that the difference between a a ship and a prison was that you can also drown in the first.
An island and a ship? Has anybody the answer?
What you are saying makes all sense but the problem is not just the person dating, but the intrusion fron his/her family that sometimes gives influence to the both parties especially to the one who's dating the father or mother of the child. With regards to income, it doesn't make sense to take it against the parent, the responsability has to be carried out and this should understood, like wise in a relationship. I am not looking for looks, I am not looking for someone to take care of my child and not even for a part time lover, and wrong is the person who is looking for looks on the outside....look inside before. A skin could cover a lot, which in duration wll come out from under the skin.
I will get an "eggspert" to do it then. My good points are not known to you, but well known to the women I date. So don't worry.
I have too many to list here anyway.
I have too many to list here anyway.
Antcus - I am sure you are a good,decent man.
I have only just seen your profile and discovered you are a widow.
My sympathies to you for your loss, and wishing you good luck in finding a new person to share your life with!
I have only just seen your profile and discovered you are a widow.
My sympathies to you for your loss, and wishing you good luck in finding a new person to share your life with!
Ugh im glad im living in Denmark, when it comes to our rules.
It is mutch acepted to be a singel parrent, both woman and man.
I my self am a singel mom and dates a singel father.
My problem is the system, they have not kept up with the exspanding amount of singels. We are becoming more and more!
A werry big problem if you ask me.
I am a singel uneplyed mom, right now i get money from the system, not enough to pay my bills. I have been looking for a job in 2 month now and it is so dificult. The firms takes the young no children people, so no matter if you are good at the job, they think it is to difficult with a singel parrent at the job. There reaktion when it comes up with the kid.
It gets me so mad, and if i have to get a job out of my specialty, i will have even harder to finde a good job.
Im stuk in this crapy system, because i cant get a chance.
Im alone of brining and getting my child from the kindergarden. so this shortens when i can work to!
Right now, life sucks
And hi everybody again, long time sins last
But you can gues why, have a lot on my minde
Mette
It is mutch acepted to be a singel parrent, both woman and man.
I my self am a singel mom and dates a singel father.
My problem is the system, they have not kept up with the exspanding amount of singels. We are becoming more and more!
A werry big problem if you ask me.
I am a singel uneplyed mom, right now i get money from the system, not enough to pay my bills. I have been looking for a job in 2 month now and it is so dificult. The firms takes the young no children people, so no matter if you are good at the job, they think it is to difficult with a singel parrent at the job. There reaktion when it comes up with the kid.
It gets me so mad, and if i have to get a job out of my specialty, i will have even harder to finde a good job.
Im stuk in this crapy system, because i cant get a chance.
Im alone of brining and getting my child from the kindergarden. so this shortens when i can work to!
Right now, life sucks
And hi everybody again, long time sins last
But you can gues why, have a lot on my minde
Mette
Some people will not accept what they cannot understand. Children are blessings.
I think you guys with children are extremely sensitive on this and overreacting a bit.
My ex had a daughter, and he asked me every day if I mind - but never believed that I love her and its really not a problem for me. OK, I must admit that the little girl was kind, polite and well educated. Probably I would not be totally happy with a child who turns my life to hell, but still, in a normal relationship it shall not be a problem.
There is one thing that I would never like to hear: "its my child, not yours so you can not order him to do / not to do things."
My ex had a daughter, and he asked me every day if I mind - but never believed that I love her and its really not a problem for me. OK, I must admit that the little girl was kind, polite and well educated. Probably I would not be totally happy with a child who turns my life to hell, but still, in a normal relationship it shall not be a problem.
There is one thing that I would never like to hear: "its my child, not yours so you can not order him to do / not to do things."
I've made the experience once and don't want it again, may be in some more 10-15 years... He had a daughter, I was not allowed to say anything as it was his and not my daughter. Looking after her out of arranged times and one time had to even hear English with a Russin accent is no good for his daughter and different one I could not offer. Also I'd like a family of my own soon and he still pays a lot to his ex. I just don't want these troubles. Am I selfish? May be. But we all are in some ways I believe
Women who love children will have no problem loving your children as their own. Love has nothing to do with genes (adoption successes) but about acceptance, who knows maybe they would want to build a larger family with you in the future too in addition to the child/children from your previous relationship.
There is a possibility that some of the girls you met were not ready to be parents and that was the real reason behind it. So it can be more about timing that anything else, being 'ready' is not a question of age but is an individual process.
Good luck, you'll find the right one who will accept you and your children as one.
There is a possibility that some of the girls you met were not ready to be parents and that was the real reason behind it. So it can be more about timing that anything else, being 'ready' is not a question of age but is an individual process.
Good luck, you'll find the right one who will accept you and your children as one.
I would not even date a woman without kids (anymore).
Lived with one, dated some and found that they simply do not understand the, lets say, two types of love, you have. One, deep emotional binding to your kid(s) and the love you can feel for your partner.
And that this leeds to priorities that are not (or not easily) understandable for "un-kidded" partners. If something is seriously wrong with the kid(s) the partner comes (temporarily) second. This is my understanding of my parental commitment and constitutes itself in all the big and little sacrifices that belong to being a parent.
In my experience people without kids see them as "a person" while parents see them as part of themselfs and act differently.
The reaction of the "new" kids in a new partnership can be as mixed as it comes. After a lot of emotional support for my two step-daughters (with a dying grandma in the house and her death) the result after the divorce is that one step-daughter does not even send a "Thank you" email for the X-mas presents while the other one can not wait to come over and visit.
CU Ph.
Lived with one, dated some and found that they simply do not understand the, lets say, two types of love, you have. One, deep emotional binding to your kid(s) and the love you can feel for your partner.
And that this leeds to priorities that are not (or not easily) understandable for "un-kidded" partners. If something is seriously wrong with the kid(s) the partner comes (temporarily) second. This is my understanding of my parental commitment and constitutes itself in all the big and little sacrifices that belong to being a parent.
In my experience people without kids see them as "a person" while parents see them as part of themselfs and act differently.
The reaction of the "new" kids in a new partnership can be as mixed as it comes. After a lot of emotional support for my two step-daughters (with a dying grandma in the house and her death) the result after the divorce is that one step-daughter does not even send a "Thank you" email for the X-mas presents while the other one can not wait to come over and visit.
CU Ph.
Phaidros, fascinating post, so true , so true. my last relationship had two kids in the equation...a challenge, an incredible learning curve, taught me all I know about what it means to raise a family. And most important, I know understand why and what it means at times to be second or third priority in your partner's life.
Like you, cherscic? 
I never talk about my exes or my kids..........only the other day I was saying 'I never talk about my ex wives...you know my first wife said to me 'blah blah blah' and then I thought about another wife and she said 'blah blah blah' and then another wife said 'blah blah blah' and I thought to myself 'This is silly!' and I went to sleep counting wives 'blah blah blah'........'
My advice to you is this yihaa..wait until you have seduced a woman before telling her that you have kids and a separated wife - it's only if she STAYS after you tell her that you have a problem!
I'm only kidding - I know that you are an honorable man...it's easier to sleep at night if you are honorable (even though alone!)
I never talk about my exes or my kids..........only the other day I was saying 'I never talk about my ex wives...you know my first wife said to me 'blah blah blah' and then I thought about another wife and she said 'blah blah blah' and then another wife said 'blah blah blah' and I thought to myself 'This is silly!' and I went to sleep counting wives 'blah blah blah'........'
My advice to you is this yihaa..wait until you have seduced a woman before telling her that you have kids and a separated wife - it's only if she STAYS after you tell her that you have a problem!
I'm only kidding - I know that you are an honorable man...it's easier to sleep at night if you are honorable (even though alone!)
Rusty, thank you for your words. I always say the truth from the begining. Although I'm a Gemini, and most people think that we are two persons or chracters in one, as said in another thread, I don't beleive that I am. I got to a point, now in my life, that i live day by day and if I had to be in a relationship i state the facts from day one and will not try to go round them as i done in my last relationship. I'ts either you love me for what and who I am or else it's no do.....and also vise versa. I give my utmost in everything, I care about other's feelings but they have to care about mine.
Very easyily said....but i know that it's not easy to be done.
Good day to you all.
Hey Rusty, don't forget to send me those pics
Very easyily said....but i know that it's not easy to be done.
Good day to you all.
Hey Rusty, don't forget to send me those pics
the simple solution if it is possibe to do it is to move to another country that is more liberal in its attitude here in austria we dont have this problem;;
Yihaa,
My apologies on the tardiness on those pics; every time I go up to the tower to try and find the dang camera/pc lead some lovely young lady distracts me!
Life can be so hard when you are a nice Gemini person trying to make other people happy - right?
My apologies on the tardiness on those pics; every time I go up to the tower to try and find the dang camera/pc lead some lovely young lady distracts me!
Life can be so hard when you are a nice Gemini person trying to make other people happy - right?
i had a partner for 22yrs the best years of my life she had a daughter i had a daughter both the same age we got on after ironing out the teething problems like clothes shoes make up etc-etc the 2 girls got on like a house on fire and we just loved each other and went with the flow saw both married she saw my daughters son born and said thank you for a grandchild sixmonth later she died ; 3yrs later i remarried and devoiced but i have a daughter who is 10 yrs old now i have to find a partner ;;;;
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For most responsible people with children the economic cost of divorce is very high in financial terms over many years; a relationship that should have been symbiotic has become destructive to all concerned.
Many women with children will get the family home as part of the divorce settlement and the man will move from a 'normal' house to some crappy bedsit or worse. He's not exactly going to be a particularly attractive 'package' to a beautiful young woman who'd wish to meet an unsullied knight in shining armour!
I guess I'm lucky now that both my sons (from my first two marriages) have now grown up and I don't have to financially support three or even four households.