Maths (21)
The last big bit had me laughing hystrically till I realised the neighbours would be sending for the men in white coats ... so I packed it in!
and there was me thinking you ladies loved those big bits
forget the big! was meant to say the last bit! Gosh! Hope Freud's not about!!!! wonder what he would make of it!
I know what you meant my silly humour 
my silly humour I believe the thread said humour................treat it as such H,
from experience people from luxembourg dont usually have much humour in their blood.
Best most Funniest
So glad I clicked on this thread
Printing it out for my get-together coctail party tomorrow.....it'll be a hit!
Thanks Jacko
So glad I clicked on this thread
Printing it out for my get-together coctail party tomorrow.....it'll be a hit!
Thanks Jacko
morning to you Jacko.Good morning to you Atlam. How are you this fine and hot day? Relaxing over the weekend......again
I'm finally catching up on my sleep after last few days of only 4 hours sleep a night. So relaxing is definitely on the menu this weekend.
Perhaps will relax again on the beach all day.
How's about you this weekend, after waking at the crack of dawn again what's on the agenda?
Perhaps will relax again on the beach all day.
How's about you this weekend, after waking at the crack of dawn again what's on the agenda?
A party animal huh Good luck to you, do it while you have the chance
I was working last night, tried to sleep but that's a non starter, usual domestic stuff, petrol for the car and bike, little gardening etc.......work tomorrow..yuk
Good luck to you, do it while you have the chance I was working last night, tried to sleep but that's a non starter, usual domestic stuff, petrol for the car and bike, little gardening etc.......work tomorrow..yuk
Jack, do you work 7 days? 
Jacko
shift basis, one day day shift, next day off, next day night shift, next day off........easy to remember and lots of time off 12 hour shifts though
12 hour shifts though Very funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...thank you ,Jacko.Have a nice weekend!Hi Natasha, you have a good one too
Hi Jacko
The second being Office Arithmatic its the best
thanks
The second being Office Arithmatic its the best
thanks
Marti,
I'll have to poke some of the witchie thingies in the ribs with this one:
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
I'll have to poke some of the witchie thingies in the ribs with this one:
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Created: Aug 2007
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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.