Thoughts for today (18)

> If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famously
> erudite scientist and comic who once said: "I woke up one morning and all
of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
>
> His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and
> amusement. Here are some of his gems:
>
> 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
> 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- They don't expect it back.
> 3 - Half the people you know are below average.
> 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
> 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
> 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
> 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
> 9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
> 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
> 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend. ...but she left me before we met.
> 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
> 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
> 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
> something.
> 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
> 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
> 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
> 18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
> 19 - I intend to live forever..... .so far, so good.
> 20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
> 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
> 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
> 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your
> horn louder."
> 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
> 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
> 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
> 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
> bread.
> 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
> research.
> 30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
> 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
> 32 - The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be
on
> it.
> 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
> 34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights
> work

To our amazement and amusement- very well said!

Hi Jacko , I wanted to reply but clicked on your profile by mistake . Anyway , You are in Malta , there are plenty of viable partners around , some visiting some local .. Wouldn't it better to spend time searching the woman rather than publishing the article ?

Singles sites are just something extra . Don't miss the real world . There are no substitute for the Friends near by .. Perhaps less of this more of that .

I'm sorry but this was a stupid remark, why cant jacko have time to publish that article and look for a suitable woman to satisfy his needs
It could work for you too, instead of posting stupid remarks you could be out there in the lovely city of manchester looking for a lovely woman to satisfy YOUR needs.

I think the guy feels so insecure and unsafe. Hey Damien, try to socialize and maybe you'll be looked at in someway different and maybe then you would get a date...maybe.

Brilliant stuff Jacko...you made my morning...I'm hoping that tomorrow morning when I get up, I'll find that someone has stolen all my stuff....and replaced it with something better....lol

Thanks Jacko. Funny, but insightful as well!

Francesca

Damn, I just thought it was amusing....lighten up Damian