Untitled Poem (16)
Yeah I know... I suck. 
------ This thread is Archived ------
no, bad Lady, you do not suck!!!Your poem was beautiful, but why did it hafta have such a profound sad ending?
------ This thread is Archived ------
I like it.....
Perhaps it doesn't need a title until the one that is intended for shows his face....then you will know right away.
Perhaps it doesn't need a title until the one that is intended for shows his face....then you will know right away.
------ This thread is Archived ------
It's beautiful Lady. A sweet plea. Hugs to you girl
------ This thread is Archived ------
Thank you ladies.
As for the ending, I guess your right. Perhaps I should've made it forever. I shall change the ending in my notebook around.
As for the ending, I guess your right. Perhaps I should've made it forever. I shall change the ending in my notebook around.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Good poetry is about feeling...don't stop writing!
------ This thread is Archived ------
Thank you. 
------ This thread is Archived ------
Not at all. Lots of feeling here.
Before you despair jump to the poetry forum at the bottom of the page, they do not move like other threads but many enjoy reading so persevere.
Thank you for sharing.
Before you despair jump to the poetry forum at the bottom of the page, they do not move like other threads but many enjoy reading so persevere.
Thank you for sharing.
------ This thread is Archived ------
It's better than some stuff I've read on here. It is yours to edit as you see fit, you own it. I have a few poems I've changed many times over the years. You may feel like expanding it too.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Ok I've redone the ending. 
And I like it better. Here's how it looks now.
My mind wanders from day to day,
Wondering if you'll ask me to stay.
When I finally hear those words,
It will make my heart soar like flying birds.
Your arms will embrace me and hold me tight,
As we sleep in each others arms every night.
Our love will grow with the time we are together,
And it will continue to go on this way forever.
And I like it better. Here's how it looks now.My mind wanders from day to day,
Wondering if you'll ask me to stay.
When I finally hear those words,
It will make my heart soar like flying birds.
Your arms will embrace me and hold me tight,
As we sleep in each others arms every night.
Our love will grow with the time we are together,
And it will continue to go on this way forever.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Wonderful poem
------ This thread is Archived ------
That ending is good but both are just as good.. very nice..
------ This thread is Archived ------
Awww thanks sweetie. 
------ This thread is Archived ------
I agree with mom, but, when you're writing a poem about true emotions, don't be afraid to slash conformity, sometimes free verse helps keep your heart on paper, and not just your mind.....
------ This thread is Archived ------
That's a great idea....I 2nd what she said.
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
your personality
men's perspective towards women
the way you look
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
Common Issues with the BMW X1
Sleepy Don!
other can see but not you
Feel Good Music
wanting beyond need
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
809 Views
15 Comments
Created: Sep 2007
Last Viewed: Apr 28
Last Commented: Oct 2007
0 Likes
My mind wanders from day to day,
Wondering if you'll ask me to stay.
When I finally hear those words,
It will make my heart soar like flying birds.
Your arms will embrace me and hold me tight,
As we sleep in each others arms every night.
Our love will grow stronger as time passes by,
And will continue to grow until we die.