What I have learned ( Archived) (4)

this is an old one..It was written when I was expereincing a "unrequited love"... Probably the hardest lesson to learn





thinking of past loves and mistakes .
Here I dabble with pen in hand,
Contemplating what I have learned,
What will be my future plans?

To strive to attain lofty heights,
Perchance To Love and be loved above all else.
What tools or gifts have I to offer to such as you?
Only my complete adoration and entire self.

I have no diploma or degree that can show ,
how I am able to give all this…,that lays within.
What tasks must I perform that you will then know,
This love I have is genuine, and not merely a cloak, disguising sin?

I will not grovel at your feet,
Nor will I beg for your love that I seek.
Before you now I have opened.
Emotionally vulnerable. No longer meek.

So silence is your final answer,
to all my sincere heartfelt pleas.
I’ll have rethink all this, but this I say
Never will I come to you ever on my knees.

Thinking of past loves and mistakes,
Here I dabble with pen in hand.
Contemplating what I’ve learned from this,
And what will be my future plans.

This is better than laying on someones couch and paying them to listen...thank you CS

Something of what I’ve learned

I have had many loves, and the love of many beautiful women. In that I could be considered fortunate, and I wouldn’t disagree. Yet I am single. Not completely without choice, but certainly not every moment by choice. I love making love.

In relationships, I have more than once thought we were one. Perhaps that was the case for a while, or occasionally. It proved not to be the case perpetually.

The person I’ve become has a more evoluative (yeah, I know that may not be on your spell checker, but, hey, Shakespeare invented almost two thousand words, so everyone’s entitled, and I didn’t invent it, anyway) psyche/spirit. The hope is to get to a point where less and less mean less and less (very oriental, wouldn’t you say? (laughing with you at the image)).

Still, life is strong and there are many natural aspects that need not be denied. My gender rests masculine. So, I remain more than open to the possibility that a woman could enter my life with whom I really did experience that one-ness on a more on-going basis. Should that happen, it would be truly awesome for both of us.

The person I’ve become, thus become truly two-in-one with such another, would be almost too wonderful. Even separation would not separate us, because we would feel our connectedness through the universe. Like the warmth from the sun; just there.

I’ve no idea how I would look for such a person, so life will have to present that situation if it so please.

In the meantime, I am neither dead nor neutered! Remember the above mentioned strength of the life force! I am not abstaining from the possibility of a less-than-permanent-up-front-commitment experience. And one never knows what can develop. I’ve simply learned that women I’m attracted to who are not attracted to me are a waste of time for both of us. Most of my full-blown relationships have been with someone who was very attracted to me right at the start. It’s always happened while I was single, so I’ve always been able to go with it.

Still flirting? Of course. Exploiting? No.