What does a man wholly smitten do about distance... ( Archived) (80)

Dec 16, 2007 2:58 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia278 Threads 7,904 Posts
thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
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Dec 16, 2007 3:37 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
I would like to add that I did not post this forum to talk me into or out os something here. I merely wished it as a platform from which others could interpose their own personal experiences. And as such I would be able to garner a glimpse of my own usually astute decision making skills. I do not need to be told what to do, as it is likely I will not listen anyway, but I value many opinions here on this site and would dearly appreciate any input that can reflect itself from within and help me to understand what exactly I am going through here. It is wonderful and at the same time frightening, I lived most of my chidhood alone and developed many skills with which to reason out the clearest path. I am older now and have managed to turn those skills into helping others where I can see the whole picture. I am appealing here for views of my situation from a 'whole picture' conception. I appreciate al that have posted thus far and as I am finally off to bed, I will check in and respond to each and every legitimate posting that is to follow.

Thank you my friends...

Markangel
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Dec 16, 2007 3:42 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK49 Threads 12 Polls 6,581 Posts
Hi Mark wave

Well I feel similarly to you..
I have booked a flight to see if its the same feeling in person...

and if it isn't then so be it.. and if it IS... Oooo la laaaa and *Oh sheeet!* giggle dunno


SO THAT helped you didn't it. (not) laugh
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Dec 16, 2007 3:46 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
Of course it did silly. You are one of the people here who says much with few words. I could probably take a few lessons here...
Nothing ventured...nothing gained...
What is great right now could be perfect...or as near as you dare dream...
Good for you, very powerful initiative you have there.
It is nice to see that this site is providing what many complain is not here. This is a living testimonial to those naysayers that all can be right if they would just let go of the past and look ahead.
A very wise friend of mine told me that life is like a vehicle. If you focus out the windshiled you will have a safe, secure, and invigorating journey. If you stare at all that passes you by out the side windows you will likely miss your exit. And if you spend all your time glancing at the rear view mirror you will likely end up in an accident...

Thank You Eupho...

Markangel
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Dec 16, 2007 3:49 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA184 Threads 18 Polls 11,244 Posts
Mark, Distance shouldn't be a matter of concern if the feeling and the will to commit is really strong. But, as far as i know this is just a medium to get to know someone . So, maybe get to talk to her on cam and phone .. see if
she's exactly what you are looking for in life then maybe visit each other .. spend sometime.. this would help make the final decision.

I know it must be difficult and its definitely a lot to put in for a relationship, but, at times taking it slow and steady you can enjoy the experience while taking the time to decide.

Thats how i feel about it.

santa waving
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Dec 16, 2007 3:51 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK49 Threads 12 Polls 6,581 Posts
hahah! I say much with few words?

Well... thats the FIRST time anyone has EVER said THAT to me... giggle
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Dec 16, 2007 3:53 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK49 Threads 12 Polls 6,581 Posts
thumbs up thumbs up

Good morning Riya hug hug
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Dec 16, 2007 3:57 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA184 Threads 18 Polls 11,244 Posts
good morning !! hug
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Dec 16, 2007 4:00 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
Calm and cotrolled reason yet again from my friend. As I said earlier distance is merely time, and time is best spent on positive contructs. It is the true earthly currency bar none.
You are correct, in the ideal that this is merely a meeting point, no less real than the supermarket or the park or whatnot.
We have shared many forms of communication and they all speak differing things as they have special connections to different mediums of interaction. I especially like Skype for its ability to allow us to share silences (yes I can keep my mouth shut sometimes...not for too long but it does happen). The telephone is another mediu that sends shivers up and down my spine her voice is the rhythm of my soul. There is nothing I am truly asking of here as in truth the decision lies between us. I will not post any personal inkling here in forum or by email, as such is tantamount to betrayal.
It is difficult but at the same time my elation during the course of our time thus far outweighs any misgivings that could ever be conceived by my own mind under the worst duress, which I have of course not had the displeasure of experiencing.
My heart knows what it sees and my soul hears its twin. My only concern, (and for me this is odd to place the physical above my heart and soul) is my children or hers. She has hers with her and I accept them wholly. My own children live with their mothers and I could not fight to remove them from them. To do so would only have scarred the children and showed them the malice of the world They are too young to worry about the foolishness of adults, and as such I concede to their mother's wishes more often than not to allow harmony to invoke its spell by whatever means necessary for my children's sake.
You are correct, though I am in no hurry, just postulating what I must face at one time or another. I so enjoy the way things are right now, I am in constant need of a good pinch to prove that it is real. I adore her everything...

Thank You Riya, for the lovely words and positive thoughts...

Markangel
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Dec 16, 2007 4:04 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
If we had a limited amount of words allotted to us by the mods at CS, I would only be allowed online for a few hours, whilst you would sparingly express yourself throughout the entire day, in your identical manner. Complete and true to yourself dear Eupho.
You understand the art of communication like an artist painting a masterpiece on canvas. Simple words, with meaning that echoes throughout the day.

Thank You again...

Markangel
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Dec 16, 2007 4:10 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA184 Threads 18 Polls 11,244 Posts
As i feel Mark, keep an open mind and an open heart .... as you adore her and have the feeling of a twin ... you seem to me on the right path.

I understand you are just speculating but , take each step at its own pace .. so you know this is exactly what you want and rest time will tell ..

Good luck to you !! hug
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Dec 16, 2007 4:11 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
Thanks Riya your words mean much to me for your blessed wisdom, tempered with reason and compassion.

Markangel
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Dec 16, 2007 4:14 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA184 Threads 18 Polls 11,244 Posts
Anytime !!hug
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Dec 16, 2007 4:22 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
Eupho
EuphoEuphoWild Wild South West, England UK49 Threads 12 Polls 6,581 Posts
Awww what a Lovely thing to say. hug
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Dec 16, 2007 4:25 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
Truth is truly the purest most innocent flattery. As you were flsttered here I thank you for recognizing the inherent truth.

Markangel
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Dec 16, 2007 4:25 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
Daniel4021
Daniel4021Daniel4021Somewhere, Tennessee USA157 Threads 8,986 Posts
Mark... self sacrifice is the ultimate thing one can do for another.. I know I have done it.. how old are your kids? have you talked to them about this? Are the old enough to understand? It has been my life that I always put everyone first before myself...

A friend of mine asked me once.. Daniel... when are you going to start thinking about yourself? When are you ever going to put yourself first?
When are you going you going to make yourself happy?

I gotta tell you Mark... I thought about those questions, and I broke down a cried... and then my friend said... you know Daniel, it is ok to think about yourself, nobody will hold it against you if you do..
That made me cry even more..

Thinking of others before myself has always been my way... watching their joy and happiness that was a result of the things I had done for them brought me inner peace and happiness, but I never realized that there was an empty place inside of me until my friend pointed it out...

So I asked my friend... How can I do this without letting anyone down?
My friend said... Daniel.. if these people are truly your friends, then they should give back to you equally as you have given them.. and then my friend said you can't always carry the weight of so many people on your shoulders alone... You must think of yourself sometimes..

What a true friend I had to tell me those things.. I am not used to being on the recieving end... I can't tell how good that made me feel..
I had a friend that was able to look deep inside of me and see that there was a part of me that wasn't happy.. and I didn't realize it until my friend made me see this..

Mark, we are only human.. we all have wants, needs, and desires.. so I am telling you my dear canadian brother.. you can still put others first, but take a little time to think of yourself, and do something that will make you happy... I hope that helps you Mark..

Your friend always
Daniel


handshake comfort
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Dec 16, 2007 4:30 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
markmeunier
markmeuniermarkmeunierTimmins, Ontario Canada16 Threads 3 Polls 912 Posts
Daniel you have given me much emotional content to absorb with your wonderful posting here and as such I am again short of words (believe it or not) and must fall back to reflect on what has been said. I am off to sleep now and will return tomorrow with my true reply to your thought-filled honest response. I am beyond tired now and would merely do an injustice to your pure voice here.

Thank you my brother

Markangel

I was wondering when your voice would appear, knowing that it woud.handshake
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Dec 16, 2007 4:33 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
Daniel4021
Daniel4021Daniel4021Somewhere, Tennessee USA157 Threads 8,986 Posts
What kind of friend and brother would I be if I didn't show up?
You take care Mark.. sleep well, and I will pray that you have your answers soon...comfort
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Dec 16, 2007 4:49 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
ndnpebbles
ndnpebblesndnpebbleseverson, Washington USA1 Threads 5 Posts
I have not experienced a plight as yours and your lady friend. I have experienced true love. I've experienced the loss of love thru my own act of being frivolous with it. In other words, I took the true love I had for granted. He told me he'd love me always and forever. That my eyes showed him my love for him. He would write letters to me, even tho we lived in the same house. I'd find notes in my car; in my coat pocket; in emails and many text messages just because. We were married for 7 years and we were together for 16. We raised six children together. Just this past summer, my favorite time of the year, he left me for someone else. Now, I went thru the pain of a broken heart. Being deprived of the love we shared, deprived of his touch, his smile and yes, his scent. I know and understand the sleepless nights and the loss of interest in food. I myself, have two boys still living at home with me. The other four live on their own with their significant others. They are the ones that have made me a happy grandmother of 4.
To get to this point, to assist you with figuring out your plight and to help you with finding more light in a room of darkness; I want you to remember what love is. Everyone has their own definition. Everyone is different and really cannot speak of something they have no experience of, and yet here I am. I would like to express to you, that love is love. You make your own happiness.
I believe that I did not see that with my man. He was not happy, because I was not happy. I was not happy with myself and I, in all niaivete, blamed him for my unhappiness. I did not see it and only saw it after the fact. I know he loves me still. And I know I will have to come to terms with all this and tell him what I can tell a stranger.
Any ways, I keep removing myself from the reason of writing this. I just want you to know, love will find a way. Even if you doubt. I am glad that I can still believe in love. It's having faith and hope in something you cannot see-- it's leaping in the hopes of flying and if she makes you feel like you can fly, all else will follow with some work, with faith and hope.
Thanks for reading this somewhat sad post.
E
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Dec 16, 2007 4:54 AM CST What does a man wholly smitten do about distance...
lone_m
lone_mlone_mregina, Saskatchewan Canada2 Posts
you would never deprive the three children at any cost? maybee im reading this wrong ?of who?there mother ? or you? i myself have had som experiance in this a liitle the first thing i do know is that nothing happens in this world without the lords hand in it if its going to happen it will !the second thing i do know is! if i am not happy then how can i spread happy!if i am not sure how can i make people think i am sure if i dont take a chance then i am nothing and if i am nothing then i have nothing to give or lose so i guess what i am saying is take care of urself first then everthing else is yours to give!and wow you have a gift for words its like watchin the smoke of a cigrette fade in to nothing but knowing the next draw there will be more very nice !handshake
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