Canadian Humour (12)
trish123: President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, Up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer,3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie , that I have 6,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, Up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer,3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie , that I have 6,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
It's always the logistics that foil even the best laid war plans!
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trish123: President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, Up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer,3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie , that I have 6,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, Up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer,3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie , that I have 6,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
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Fallingman: It's always the logistics that foil even the best laid war plans!
Right! Them, on Newfoundland an Labrador do have that philosophical attribute Thanks Trish for chuckles
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haha 
that all sounds pretty familiar for here too
Hiya FM and Al too
that all sounds pretty familiar for here too
Hiya FM and Al too
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SSSOOOOOOOOOOO true of the Newfies and the Canadians. Great Way for me to start the day!!! Thanks Trish and Koni
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Hi Trish!
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Arlene101: SSSOOOOOOOOOOO true of the Newfies and the Canadians. Great Way for me to start the day!!! Thanks Trish and Koni
Oh those Canadian who lives in Igloos ... lol
Morning Arlene
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Konigsberg: Oh those Canadian who lives in Igloos ... lol
Morning Arlene
Good MorningMorning Arlene
I thik we are going to have to start building igloos her in Nova Scotia if the weather doesn't let up. 
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Sorry about the typos, My fingers aren't quite working yet.
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Arlene101: Good Morning I thik we are going to have to start building igloos her in Nova Scotia if the weather doesn't let up.
I wish ... but we do not have any snow left my way.
Great, Sunny Day your way
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Konigsberg: I wish ... but we do not have any snow left my way.
Great, Sunny Day your way
Yes we have had 2 whole days of it so far, Keeping my fingers crossed. By the way Koni--Did you know that if we drove halfway to meet each other that we would be standing on the EXACT line of the equator??? There is a sign on the road saying so. Just a little trivia here.Great, Sunny Day your way
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- I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
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"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, Up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer,3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie , that I have 6,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."