So basically, there is no chance for the guy to be part of the group since the kid (s) is/are not his, and that's the problem I see will show up and cause problems for the guy. Why not let kids to be close? How do you know that anything would work if you didn't already break it?
No I think you misunderstood me. I am saying if you have any intentions of dateing a mother who has children a mother who loves her children dearly. YOu should have already made up in your mind that those children come along with her so if you are going to just come and go I would not pick the single parent but if you plan on sticking around and seeing what happens and takeing her on and all that comes with her then go for it.
Sorry, I got it, by you don't know if you will stick around or not. It all depends on how things go. I see it as a tuff task for the guy. I don't know, I need to hear from single moms that had a single guy stick around....
it is not always the guy that leaves the single mom and if the kids really do come first which they should for both of you for the most part then the single mom should just stay single if she does not plan on staying with the guy
I had married a single mom who had a daughter the age of 6 months. I had treated her daughter as if she was my own for over 16 years. I loved her, cared for her and never treated her any different than my son everything I kept equal between the 2 kids. Well, little did I know my wife and her parents was telling her daughter that I wasn’t the real dad. To make a long story short, my ex had made, what I thought to be my daughter, turn against me which hurt me so bad when I found out. I was a great father and a better parent than my ex could have ever been.
Dating in general is not easy, let alone when you add children to the mix. I use caution with men and my child, I don't introduce until I know or think at least that the man intends on sticking around awhile. :)
The problem i hear most from my dates is that they are scared my children wont except them...I say they are young they can adjust but you wont even meet my kids unless I fall in love with you..;-))And its easy to keep it that way since I haven't dated a man in the usa for 3 years...Not to say i would not,but after divorce I met a guy in frankfurt germany where we were together long distance for 1 and a half years...My kids did meet him,and really liked him,but for other reasons we broke up later...And i am really shocked on here the men that do not read profiles and do not know I have children or they have children and do not mention them...;-))
No reason why it can't work out! Dating a female w/ kids is more work since you have to date a family!! (in a sense) He has to be accepting of her AND her children...understanding that all of her time cannot be given to him...or at least not such as someone w/out children. A lot of strength, dedication, understanding, and acceptance are key elements to making anything work!
Well then before whoshing by might I add that I hope this all who replied helps you to some degree. I think the true answer is yours to figure out since this topic is kind of a to-each his/her own type thing. :)
I am a single mom as well, I love my children to death and swore to never date till they got older. I took the chance on a guy that said he was ready to settle into the family life and now hes left after a year and has broken 3 little hearts.
Guys, kids are great they make you smile when you dont feel like smiling but kids are not for everyone, so before you break those precious little hearts, really think about the long run before jumping in. It could be very rewarding or stressful.
Single parents put themselves in the position they're in, they must face the consequences of their actions, accept responsibility for it, and deal. You're the one that chose your mate, you're party to the reason you're not with that person any longer. You chose to keep the kid/kids with you and wouldn't be in the position you're in otherwise. I know, I'm a custodial parent as well.
Right on to the single father in the crowd. Oh yeah, 303 luv, I just moved from there two years ago. Used to live on 104th and Federal.
I think a guy knows whther or not he can date a single mother. Not all men carry the paternal instinct, and those who don't are aware of that fact.
I got with my baby's mama and she had a young infant. About 6 months old. I put up with a lot of BS with her because i had fallen in love with her child. The day I actually learned she was pregnant, I was in the middle of moving her OUT of my house. I took her back a few months later because I have wanted children for a while now. I was even stupid enough to marry her. when I think of my failed marriage, its the kids I miss. The moniker DA DA is the highest honor I have attained in my lifetime. Her daughter still calls me dad, and I love her so much. I know since I am moving away in two weeks that she will have man after man walk in- and the out- of her life. Infuriates me to no end that I can not protect her from this. But I can't do anuthing about it. My son will hopefully be awarded to me in the furture custody battle, but the courts usually side with maternal custody. My best chance is that she is caught with drugs around the children, and I win by default. I feel guilty for inadvertantly causing harm to the daughter and my son. So yes, certainly be careful about getting with a single parent. It is unhealthy for them to have instability in their life. Being a parent is not a part time activity, it takes up a lot of personal space, freedom, and loads of cash. But, if you have the instinct, the impact is tremendous.
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