It's Not Your Fault (6)
again well done.------ This thread is Archived ------
Thanks nomindgames...glad you liked it.
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Hey LoneWolf!
Did that poem really cheer her up? It seemed to have less content of closure and more content of what could have been. It was very painful to read in the sense that the poem's content depicted more of what could have been now and the blissful future as opposed to using a little more abstract to allow her to use her imagination to attract some understanding and closure with that painful ordeal. JMO...it was cleverly written in the way if flowed, but it just seemed to dark and not enough light.
Just some constructive criticism from one poet to another......
Did that poem really cheer her up? It seemed to have less content of closure and more content of what could have been. It was very painful to read in the sense that the poem's content depicted more of what could have been now and the blissful future as opposed to using a little more abstract to allow her to use her imagination to attract some understanding and closure with that painful ordeal. JMO...it was cleverly written in the way if flowed, but it just seemed to dark and not enough light.
Just some constructive criticism from one poet to another......
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Believe it or not, it did cheer her up enough to try again, this time succeeding in having a beautiful baby girl. She appreciated it and is now happy.
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LoneWolfNGa: Believe it or not, it did cheer her up enough to try again, this time succeeding in having a beautiful baby girl. She appreciated it and is now happy.
I am happy to hear that. I like happy endings.....
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Created: Apr 2008
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It's Not Your Fault
Don't cry mama, it's not your fault,
That it turned out this way,
Maybe it was meant to be
For me to go away.
I was a life, a little thing,
Surrounded in your womb,
You never knew, that it would be,
My own little tomb.
You cried yourself to sleep
Wondering what I could've been,
A little boy with marbles
Hoping that I could win.
A little girl with a frilly dress
Going out in style,
With a beautiful head of hair
And my daddys sweet smile.
A boy to ride his bike
Racing against the wind,
Going through the finish line
That lies around the bend.
A little girl you dainty up
With lots of ribbons and bows,
If a boy who dumps me
You can ease me of my woes.
A boy with his daddys eyes
And I have your nose,
Oh it would have been fun
Just to have wiggled my toes.
But I am your little angel now
Sent to heaven above,
I have a mommy and daddy
That I know I will always love.