True story how someone got back at her bank it was so funny the manager had it put in the New york (10)

Dear Sir :

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with
which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.By my
calculations,three nanoseconds must have elapsed between
his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the
funds needed to honor it.I refer,of course,to the automatic
monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which,
I admit,has been in place for only eight years.You are to
be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity,

and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the
inconvenience caused to your bank.My thankfulness springs
from the manner in which this incident has caused me to
rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone

calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you,I am

confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded,

faceless entity which your bank has become

From now on,I, like you, choose only to deal with a

flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments

will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic,but will

arrive at your bank, by check,addressed personally and

confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must

nominate Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act

for any other person to open such an envelopePlease find

attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen

employee to complete . I am sorry it runs to eight pages , but

in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank

knows about me , there is no alternative . Please note that all

copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by

a Notary Public , and the mandatory details of his/her

financial situation ( income , debts , assets and liabilities )

must be accompanied by documented proof . In due course ,

at MY convenience , I will issue your employee with a PIN

number which he/she must quote in dealings with me I

regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but , again , I

have modeled it on the number of button presses required of

me to access my account balance on your phone bank service

As they say , imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Let me level the playing field even further When you call

me , press buttons as follows :


IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING , PRESS THE STAR ( * )

BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1 . To make an appointment to see me

#2 . To query a missing payment .

#3 . To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there

#4 . To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping

#5 . To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to

nature

#6 . To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at

home

#7 . To leave a message on my computer , a password to

access to my computer is required . Password will be

communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized

Contact mentioned earlier .

#8 . To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1

through 7 .

#9 . To make a general complaint or inquiry . The contact will

then be put on hold , pending the attention of my

automated answering service .

#10 . This is a second reminder to press * for English


While this may , on occasion , involve a lengthy wait ,

uplifting music will play for the duration of the call

Regrettably , but again following your example , I must also

levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new

arrangement May I wish you a happy , if ever so slightly less

prosperous New Year ?


Your Humble Client


( Remember : This was written by a 86 year old woman )

I think I like that lady.

very funny.

hi jenny.

So funny, where did you find that story?

Letter From An 86 year old Woman
July 12, 2008 08:24 PM EDT
views: 57 | rating: 9.9/10 (31 votes) | comments: 29
an email

Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank
> Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year
old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the
New York Times.
>
> Dear Sir:
>
> I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored
to pay my plumber last month.
> By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting
the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
> I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension,
an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to
be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting
my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness
springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant
financial ways.
>
> I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,
--- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging,
pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
>
> From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a
> flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore
and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed
personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
> Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person
to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require
your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order
that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
> countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her
financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied
by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee
with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
> I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled
it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on
your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
>
> Let me level the playing field even further.
> When you call me, press buttons as follows:
> IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
> #1. To make an appointment to see me
> #2. To query a missing payment.
> #3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
> #4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
> #5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
> #6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
> #7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer
is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized
Contact mentioned earlier.
> #8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
> #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put
on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
> #10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on
occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of
the call.
>
> Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment
fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if
ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
>
> Your Humble Client

Sorry I tried it again but still it is fragmented.

11144nan
I could not remember where I found this true story.
Went to Google and typed in; 86 year old woman got back at her bank says the New york times.
There it was!

I wonder if she got her NSF fee back?