Thanksgiving Jokes!! ( Archived) (11)

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."


A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

Spot the Big Turkey
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The stock boy answered, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

Big Turkeys and Little Turkeys
If a big turkey is called a gobbler, what do you call a little turkey.
A goblet.

Hanging the Turkey
Young Simon was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

'What are you doing?' Simon enquired.

'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied.

'Wow, that's cool.' Simon remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'

Indians and the Pilgrims

Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'

'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked.

The Silver Lining to the Burning Question
You Burnt the Bird? A Dozen Reasons to Be Thankful!
Salmonella won't be a concern

No one will overeat.

Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened.

Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation.

Pets won't pester you for scraps.

The smoke alarm was due for a test.

Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

You'll get to the desserts quicker.

You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

These are all good, Lela! OH, I hurt now!

Glad you liked them , I found hundreds of them , I love holiday jokes.

Thanks for the laughs Lela

You're welcome Des