Couple of gags for ya (11)
Seabiscuit: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
LMAO
Seabiscuit: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
very good..........
paddy in bed with his wife, at two in the morning when the phone rings.
paddy answers and says "how the f**k should i know? ring the coastguard"
wife says" who was that?"
"dont know" says paddy
"some silly f**ker asking if the coast was clear!!"
paddy answers and says "how the f**k should i know? ring the coastguard"
wife says" who was that?"
"dont know" says paddy
"some silly f**ker asking if the coast was clear!!"
hehe i don't have any jokes i get mine all off of here
Seabiscuit: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
great lol
Man and wife are out shopping together. Wife sees some shoes she wants, but her man says,
" NO WAY!! They're way 2 expensive."
Later that night in bed, he tries to lay his hand up on his wifes p@@@y. She says,
" I don't think so mate!! If you can't afford to shoe the horse, then u aint riding it!!!".
" NO WAY!! They're way 2 expensive."
Later that night in bed, he tries to lay his hand up on his wifes p@@@y. She says,
" I don't think so mate!! If you can't afford to shoe the horse, then u aint riding it!!!".
Things are now so bad with the credit crunch, that women are making love to their husbands because they can't afford the price of batteries!!!
Sparklingeyes: Things are now so bad with the credit crunch, that women are making love to their husbands because they can't afford the price of batteries!!!
Gordon Brown was looking for a lady of the night. He found 3 such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. To the blonde he said, "I am Prime Minister of England. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" She replied, "£200". To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was £100. He then asked the redhead. Her reply was, " Mr Prime Minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, your d@@k as hard as the times we are living in, and keep it rising like the price of petrol, keep me warmer than it is in my flat and screw me the way you have the pensioners, then it won't cost you a f@@@@ing penny!
Sparklingeyes: Gordon Brown was looking for a lady of the night. He found 3 such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. To the blonde he said, "I am Prime Minister of England. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" She replied, "£200". To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was £100. He then asked the redhead. Her reply was, " Mr Prime Minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, your d@@k as hard as the times we are living in, and keep it rising like the price of petrol, keep me warmer than it is in my flat and screw me the way you have the pensioners, then it won't cost you a f@@@@ing penny!
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Created: Dec 2008
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The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
______________________________________________
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”