do you let your ex see your child he gave up his rights to? (65)
Tinky72: My story is this:
I had a relationship for 5 months when he for no reason at all started getting really jealous.
About a month later he came home and accused me of sleeping around.
When I denied this he starting spitting on me, tore my clothes and banged my head on the wall.
I threw him out of my house and broke up with him only to find out a week later that I was pregnant.
Because of the way things ended I never told him he fathered a baby boy.
And as far as I am concerned he will never find out.
What if he turns on my child????
The funny thing is that most women told me I did the best thing and guys did not understand me not telling the father.
How is that divided in this forum?
I had a relationship for 5 months when he for no reason at all started getting really jealous.
About a month later he came home and accused me of sleeping around.
When I denied this he starting spitting on me, tore my clothes and banged my head on the wall.
I threw him out of my house and broke up with him only to find out a week later that I was pregnant.
Because of the way things ended I never told him he fathered a baby boy.
And as far as I am concerned he will never find out.
What if he turns on my child????
The funny thing is that most women told me I did the best thing and guys did not understand me not telling the father.
How is that divided in this forum?
If he was violent and he seemed not to have sense of...(fighting you in your own house just few months of dating?Wow)... i don't think he'd be glad to have a baby...unless a guy comes here and admit he used to hit his partner but loved his kids to death!
If you have the habit of hitting your woman, why would you enjoy having kids? The only reason would be if you want to exercise more power against her!
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I just came across you forum and I have to say im very interested in this topic can you expain to me what you mean by he gave up his rights to ???????
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In response to: It's seems like an easy answer. But is it? What if your child wanted to see his or her dad? You try to think of the future, you know the other family will talk to your child in later years and say they were denied time with them and say their mother was horrible, do you let them see your child to avoid that and try to be the better person? Or do you just completely close the door to visitation? Either way the child will get hurt, but which way do you choose?
honestly? I'd say screw you to the ex, I mean I gave him SO many chances to redeem himself, and he didn't take them. THat's his problem not mine. But my ex is such a dead beat that I doubt he'll EVER come around wanting to see my son. which is GOOD. And I'll just tell my kid, when he asks, that daddy left before he was born because he couldn't handle the task of being a daddy. Or something like that...
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my ex is the father to two of my children. when my daughter was 8 mths old he smacked her in the face. i agreed to allow supervised contact so the children could still bond with him. to begin with my daughter had many sleepless nights and screamed everytime it was contact day. i agreed to continue for another two weeks to see if she would settle down and she did. after a year or so the courts decided he could see them at his mum's house supervised by her for 6 hrs on a sunday. after 8 weeks my 3 and a half year old son and 2 and a half year old daughter came home with bruises on their faces and chests. i asked my son how he had got these bruises and his first response was " my daddy didnt do it". again the social services decided that their dad had to have supervised contact. this went well for around 14 weeks until 10 weeks before christmas he stopped turning up. no one will ever know how tough it is to get your kids ready to go and see their dad to have them coming back in tears cause he hasnt turned up unless they've been there. now they've not seen him since my sons 4th birthday in october and my little girl didnt even see him on her 3rd birthday. they no longer express any desire to see him and i dont believe he has the right to just come back in to their lives when he chooses to.
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SweetKim: It's seems like an easy answer. But is it? What if your child wanted to see his or her dad? You try to think of the future, you know the other family will talk to your child in later years and say they were denied time with them and say their mother was horrible, do you let them see your child to avoid that and try to be the better person? Or do you just completely close the door to visitation? Either way the child will get hurt, but which way do you choose?
I know sometimes we don't really want our children to see their dad cos they didn't have contact with them for years or they are just losers but..... especially boys..you cannot deprive them of their dad... my son is happy to see his dad again after not seeing him for 5yrs but my daughter refuses to see him simply cos she doesn't like him. You have to let the children choose
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roseofsharon: I agree with PM... if there is no reason to be concerned at his contact with the children, its better late than never with contact with their father. Whatever the issues may be between husband and wife, the relationship with the children is something completely separate!
Allow them the opportunity to inter-act with their father?
My case is visa versa ,my mother left us,Allow them the opportunity to inter-act with their father?
I dispied her all my life,when my dad was on his death bed he told me to talk to her
he passed I did 
answered alot of things for me,I talk to her all the time now
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catwomen64: My case is visa versa ,my mother left us, I dispied her all my life,when my dad was on his death bed he told me to talk to her he passed I did answered alot of things for me,I talk to her all the time now
We wanted me to move on with my life,holding onto all that hate for her wasnt good
another gift from him 
the gift of letting go
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I was divorced 39 years ago because my husband was an alcoholic. I met him when I was 16 years old. He was 12 years older than me when we got married. Two years later our daughter was born. I had no idea during our four year courtship that he was an alcoholic. I found out about it on our honeymoom. I thought that when a man is older than you are he is wiser. Well, that was my first mistake in life.
My husband was a nice man who had a good heart. The only time he was out of control was when he was drunk and that was often. vertheless, I respected him.
I don't believe using children for any reason. Women use children as a weapon to get more child support out of a man. You've heard it: She says "I need more money". He says "I don't have anymore money". She says "Well then you can't see little Janie".
My husband was drunk all the time but I never, ever kept our daughter from him. I took a big chance when I let him take her to Hawaii on vacation. Was it irresponsible of me to let her go. Maybe it was. They say God takes care of children and drunks. Well there you have it. Both in the same package.
I think a child should be with a parent as much as possible UNLESS that parent is a danger to the child.
So, am I contradicting myself. That might be, but, these days my daughter and I still talk about her daddy. We remember him with fond memories.
My husband was a nice man who had a good heart. The only time he was out of control was when he was drunk and that was often. vertheless, I respected him.
I don't believe using children for any reason. Women use children as a weapon to get more child support out of a man. You've heard it: She says "I need more money". He says "I don't have anymore money". She says "Well then you can't see little Janie".
My husband was drunk all the time but I never, ever kept our daughter from him. I took a big chance when I let him take her to Hawaii on vacation. Was it irresponsible of me to let her go. Maybe it was. They say God takes care of children and drunks. Well there you have it. Both in the same package.
I think a child should be with a parent as much as possible UNLESS that parent is a danger to the child.
So, am I contradicting myself. That might be, but, these days my daughter and I still talk about her daddy. We remember him with fond memories.
SweetKim: It's seems like an easy answer. But is it? What if your child wanted to see his or her dad? You try to think of the future, you know the other family will talk to your child in later years and say they were denied time with them and say their mother was horrible, do you let them see your child to avoid that and try to be the better person? Or do you just completely close the door to visitation? Either way the child will get hurt, but which way do you choose?
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Being now an adult that was once in those child's shoes...
It may help to read the reunited thread on here...I will bump it up for you...
A child needs to know they're biological parents and family.
It may help to read the reunited thread on here...I will bump it up for you...
A child needs to know they're biological parents and family.
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By the way, he died in 1975 from alcoholism. I am glad I gave him more rights to her than what the court demanded.
I strongly believe in "when in doubt, don't". If someone has doubt if a child should be with a parent they should investigate the situation but never keep a child from a parent as a revenge tactic.
I strongly believe in "when in doubt, don't". If someone has doubt if a child should be with a parent they should investigate the situation but never keep a child from a parent as a revenge tactic.
snugglebunnie: P.S. to my previous response.
My husband and I were responsible people after our divorce. We didn't live together but we had a child that needed the best from both of us.
My husband and I were responsible people after our divorce. We didn't live together but we had a child that needed the best from both of us.
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SweetKim I am dealing with these same questions. I have decided to let my little one tell me when she is ready to talk to her dad. We have talked about why he is not around. I have learned that you can still be the better parent if you always try to find the most positive thing about the other even if they were abusive and left with no reason. Their must have been some reason why you two were together and a few happy memories at some point the in the relationship. Remember the one thing that a child desires more then anything is the feeling of always being loved.
If your child still wants more then it may be time you give them more. The child will be more likly to be bitter at you if you always tell them what a dead beat dad he was he never wanted you or the worst I FORBID you to ever see him.
If your child still wants more then it may be time you give them more. The child will be more likly to be bitter at you if you always tell them what a dead beat dad he was he never wanted you or the worst I FORBID you to ever see him.
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SweetKim: It's seems like an easy answer. But is it? What if your child wanted to see his or her dad? You try to think of the future, you know the other family will talk to your child in later years and say they were denied time with them and say their mother was horrible, do you let them see your child to avoid that and try to be the better person? Or do you just completely close the door to visitation? Either way the child will get hurt, but which way do you choose?
It depends on how he lost his rights. Did he give them up, then realized he made a mistake. Yes, I would let him see his child. He is still their father. If his rights were removed by the courts beacuse he presents a danger to the child, NO.
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rolltideroll: SweetKim I am dealing with these same questions. I have decided to let my little one tell me when she is ready to talk to her dad. We have talked about why he is not around. I have learned that you can still be the better parent if you always try to find the most positive thing about the other even if they were abusive and left with no reason. Their must have been some reason why you two were together and a few happy memories at some point the in the relationship. Remember the one thing that a child desires more then anything is the feeling of always being loved.If your child still wants more then it may be time you give them more. The child will be more likly to be bitter at you if you always tell them what a dead beat dad he was he never wanted you or the worst I FORBID you to ever see him.
Someone with a level head! You are a good mom and person.
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Tinky72: My story is this:
I had a relationship for 5 months when he for no reason at all started getting really jealous.
About a month later he came home and accused me of sleeping around.
When I denied this he starting spitting on me, tore my clothes and banged my head on the wall.
I threw him out of my house and broke up with him only to find out a week later that I was pregnant.
Because of the way things ended I never told him he fathered a baby boy.
And as far as I am concerned he will never find out.
What if he turns on my child????
The funny thing is that most women told me I did the best thing and guys did not understand me not telling the father.
How is that divided in this forum?
I had a relationship for 5 months when he for no reason at all started getting really jealous.
About a month later he came home and accused me of sleeping around.
When I denied this he starting spitting on me, tore my clothes and banged my head on the wall.
I threw him out of my house and broke up with him only to find out a week later that I was pregnant.
Because of the way things ended I never told him he fathered a baby boy.
And as far as I am concerned he will never find out.
What if he turns on my child????
The funny thing is that most women told me I did the best thing and guys did not understand me not telling the father.
How is that divided in this forum?
He accused you of cheating because he was cheating. It's common for a cheater to blame the innocent party to ease their own conscience. Letting him see his child is your choice. You know him better than we do. Follow your gut and put your child's saftey first.
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rolltideroll: SweetKim I am dealing with these same questions. I have decided to let my little one tell me when she is ready to talk to her dad. We have talked about why he is not around. I have learned that you can still be the better parent if you always try to find the most positive thing about the other even if they were abusive and left with no reason. Their must have been some reason why you two were together and a few happy memories at some point the in the relationship. Remember the one thing that a child desires more then anything is the feeling of always being loved.If your child still wants more then it may be time you give them more. The child will be more likly to be bitter at you if you always tell them what a dead beat dad he was he never wanted you or the worst I FORBID you to ever see him.
well, i've never talked bad about him to my child, or let anyone else. I always would say daddy is busy, or working whatever when he was suppose to come and didn't. I am not opposed to her being in his life, I am opposed when its just because its a holiday or birthday... My daughter gets excited when he comes around and its a holida and is confused when he doesn't try to see her any other time. She is important every day of the year. Not just her birthday or christmas when he showers her with gifts to make up for the time he missed with her. That doesn't fly with me! Anyone else going thru this situation???------ This thread is Archived ------
buzzy: It depends on how he lost his rights. Did he give them up, then realized he made a mistake. Yes, I would let him see his child. He is still their father. If his rights were removed by the courts beacuse he presents a danger to the child, NO.
no I don't think she would be in danger physically. Mentally? Idk, maybe. We went to court not long ago, we had been waiting for that day for years, it finally came and within maybe 30 minutes he completely wanted to drop everything. He said it was the economy, either he had a house to live in or not...... I would sell whatever I had, moved into a smaller house whatever to keep my child. he can't afford her, but can afford a new house, with under ground pool, new suv, mustang, motorcycle..... And is pregnant with his new wife.... How can you afford a second when you can't your first?------ This thread is Archived ------
I found out with in a few months of our divorce being final he was already married again I have no idea if he has any children with her. His new wife has called wanting to see my little girl but not her dad. I left it with a when my daughter and your husband want to see each other he and I will talk to our daughter. I have still yet to hear from them again so far it has been 5 1/2 years.
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Well i am in the reverse position, my wife left, leaving me with my 7 year old daughter, i would willingly give her access to my daughter whom misses her mum like mad, however, she has never rang, i do not know where she is, she has never sent brithday presents or christmas presents either, i have tried to teack her down but to no avail.
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SweetKim: It's seems like an easy answer. But is it? What if your child wanted to see his or her dad? You try to think of the future, you know the other family will talk to your child in later years and say they were denied time with them and say their mother was horrible, do you let them see your child to avoid that and try to be the better person? Or do you just completely close the door to visitation? Either way the child will get hurt, but which way do you choose?
Why would you not, unless it was due to it being a potential security issue for the child?
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I had a relationship for 5 months when he for no reason at all started getting really jealous.
About a month later he came home and accused me of sleeping around.
When I denied this he starting spitting on me, tore my clothes and banged my head on the wall.
I threw him out of my house and broke up with him only to find out a week later that I was pregnant.
Because of the way things ended I never told him he fathered a baby boy.
And as far as I am concerned he will never find out.
What if he turns on my child????
The funny thing is that most women told me I did the best thing and guys did not understand me not telling the father.
How is that divided in this forum?