A poem for January !! (5)

'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The stuffing I'd nibbled, the turkey I'd taste
The yummies I'd eaten gone straight to my waist.
The wine and the mince pies,
The bread and the cheese
I should have just said, "No thank you, please."
So as I dressed myself in my boyfriend's old shirt,
I couldn't believe my bottom and belly - the girth!
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend the year disguised as a man!"
So away with the last of the sour-cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
Instead I'll chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have Irish coffees, or chocolates, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly I'll cry:
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore-
But isn't that what January's for?"
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

For those who are affected by this poem you can ring the special diet helpline on the following number:
808080028 (Ate Nothing, Ate Nothing, Ate Nothing, Nothing to Ate)

thanks need2 .......

by the way i rang that helpline and your one at the end of the ph told me to go and get stuff.......mad or what

Nuala is giving up the Chocolate for lent.........but is NOT giving up the PORK SCRATCHINGS for nobody......even jaysus

Gal that is tops...so funny...
Spare a thought for some of us that missed xmas altogether...
I was working in the middle east so only endured a 'Muslim Christmas' and of course no piggy or tequila in sight....guess its good for the waist line! Jaysus would be happy...does that mean I am goin' to heaven?