i feel trapped in my own head....i feel like i cant excape.....i am freaking out....i am running in circles....GOD help....nothing happens nothing ever does happen....it just stays the same....so therefore i turn to drugs....POT....I LOVE IT.... it excapes me from the pain so i dont have to deal with it....i feel lonely.... like there is no one to talk to....i feel like everyone gives up on me....i feel like no one gives me a chance....i just want to feel excepted and wanted....i feel like depression is taking over my life....one minute i am balling my eyes out....and the next i am happy where does it stop....they tell me to take my meds but i hate them....i feel like they are experimenting on me....why do people hate me....why do people reject me without even knowing me....why aint i skinny....why aint i pretty....i am lost in a sea of wonders of how my life is gonna turn out....why did i go through the things i went through....why was i raped....why did my dad not want me....why did my other dad have to die....why did i have to watch my grandma take her last breathe....why did i have to be abused as a little kid....what are gods attentions for me....why do i get looked at funny....why do i get used....for everything....from everyone....why do i get stood up....why cant my dreams come true....why cant i find someone who will love me for me....