Morbid fascination with a world gone wrong Brokenness, separation written in a love song The wisdom of fools is taken for granted Coin operated love feeds the desire to be wanted
Waking up face down from a night full of dreams Unable to decipher what any of it means Dead flowers on the hearthstone, the tome of love Skeletons in the closet dancing up above
The wheels of life continue to spin around Following the suns orbit for the lost and the found Tragedy and heartache a recipe for love Where mercy and grace abound from above
FellsmanLake District, Cumbria, England UKJan 29, 2011
Hi Rebelcruiser
This certainly sounds quite angry, but I am struggling with some of your narrative. What do you mean when you say "The wisdom of fools is taken for granted"? That is a real mixture of metaphors.
Most people don't associate fools with wisdom, let alone take it for granted. And if skeletons are in the closet, just was is it they are dancing above? Also, tragedy and heartache a recipe for love? Not in most peoples recipe book.
Don't worry about this critique, I don't understand modern art either, and Tracey Emin has made a fortune exhibiting stuff that nobody else can understand.
Regards
Fellsman
divamagicDelhi, IndiaJan 29, 2011
too nice... i love it
andrew149Southbourne, nr.Bournemouth, Dorset, England UKJan 29, 2011
Yep, I got most of it first read and enjoyed it, thankyou for posting and welcome to Poets Corner rebelcruiser....Andrew...
FellsmanLake District, Cumbria, England UKJan 29, 2011
Hi again rebel
I told you I was hopeless as a critic. Also, being rather new on here myself, I didn't realise you were a newcomer.
Hi, rebelcruiser, Waking up face down from a night full of dreams Unable to decipher what any of it means is not only a powerful image but also a position in which many often find themselves. What is there for a poet to do to right a world gone wrong except write? Nicely penned, mixed metaphors (I had a similar thought-provoking reaction) and all. Welcome to Poet's Corner!
After a long discussion that took place above I would only add that I can't agree more with your disillusionment with the ways of this world, but fascination, even if it's morbid, is still there, no matter how wrong the world has gone and how much tragedy and heartache there is in a recipe for love. But as Fellsman says in his sonnet: "For what be love if there would be no pain?": you'll never appreciate love until you have endured its vicissitudes. I join the good wishes and welcome you to this corner.
Well I've read the poems and the comments..and I think when disillusioned after a bad day, we see things in different frame of mind. Written another day, maybe the same words, different format. Your poem, your words at that time...that is poetry. A good poem I understood, followed with interest to its close....but then it depends on my frame of mind too....Niah
Comments (10)
This certainly sounds quite angry, but I am struggling with some of your narrative. What do you mean when you say "The wisdom of fools is taken for granted"? That is a real mixture of metaphors.
Most people don't associate fools with wisdom, let alone take it for granted. And if skeletons are in the closet, just was is it they are dancing above? Also, tragedy and heartache a recipe for love? Not in most peoples recipe book.
Don't worry about this critique, I don't understand modern art either, and Tracey Emin has made a fortune exhibiting stuff that nobody else can understand.
Regards
Fellsman
I told you I was hopeless as a critic. Also, being rather new on here myself, I didn't realise you were a newcomer.
Cheers, and welcome to PC.
Regards
fellsman
nice write rebel
Waking up face down from a night full of dreams Unable to decipher what any of it means is not only a powerful image but also a position in which many often find themselves. What is there for a poet to do to right a world gone wrong except write? Nicely penned, mixed metaphors (I had a similar thought-provoking reaction) and all. Welcome to Poet's Corner!
Your poem, your words at that time...that is poetry.
A good poem I understood, followed with interest to its close....but then it depends on my frame of mind too....Niah