Sorting through the stuff as I am packing... and the reality of break-up strikes like lightening from the clear sky... It is no more. Gone. What started so beautifully drowned in misunderstanding and suspicion.

Why?... Why such a mistrust? All your accusations were groundless, yes, I am not perfect, but I am not like you made me out to be...

Pride flames up on both sides, walls raised to the sky, protect yourself, I am right, you are wrong... you don't love me!!!... I do... but I am weak... I don't know how to do it better...

Who cares about the little one... her little eyes wide open and does not understand why she is not loved... What's wrong, she asks... Cleaning up the house, she is told...

Selfishness and pride flashes fiery arrows, blood flows and cries light up the sky... all the little one wants is her hugs and kisses... not at a pre-arranged time, at visitations, but any time and every time... Where is my freedom, to hug mum and dad when I need them? Who cares about ME??? She will get used to not seeing you, I hear the wise saying... but how will I get used to not seeing her?... pain rips my heart, tears run into my eyes... Yes, we will both get used to the scars... they numb our hearts and tone down our feelings... and deep inside the hurts, like boiling lava, are buried forever... but they are alive... these wounds don't heal... we pretend they do, but we lie to ourselves...

We move on with life... if desolation can be called life... for destruction is left behind and blood flows on the streets... cries are heard, quieter and quieter as we go, until all cries die out...

And I enter the cold, unfriendly world... where there is no hope... fearfully looking into the steel cold face of the future... and wonder... what life is about...