Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
nothing did stir
not even this souse

I lay in a heap
pissed as a newt
all crumpled up
in my best dinner suit

The evening had started
with a glass of eggnog
as I sampled a slice
of the chocolate Yule log

From there I moved on
to the new Christmas beer
a double strength concoction
created to cheer

At dinner there was wine
both white and red
and the port that I tasted
went right to my head

Carols were sung
and a few of us danced
it was at this time
that a brandy I chanced

It was the one for the road
and not meant to queer pitch
but at the back of my throat
I had felt a slight itch

It slipped down and soothed
so another I had
and it was right at this time
that I started to feel bad

A whiskey's the thing
that's what I need
a large one I poured
It went down with great speed

So the night before Christmas
under tree do I lay
and don't intend stirring
throughout Christmas Day


Happy Holidays

available on YouTube