Ladies, do you cook the food/tea for your guys? (168)
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Little Miss Smarty Pants 
And that´s before you´ve read my other one
almera03: you've always got a smart answer
And that´s before you´ve read my other one
When just married (29 years ago) my then-husband and I were into good nutrition, so we would be checking the latest on the respective scientific journals for dangers in food, best nutrients, etc…then I came to a conclusion and ask him this question:
How would you like to die?
Heart attack?
I will cook with animal fats.
Cancer?
I will cook with vegetable oils.
Etc..etc..
Starvation?
Then I will not cook.
For the record:
I do the cooking (I am good at it) unless he is better than me in which situation I would not mind his cooking for me in fact I will enjoy it!
How would you like to die?
Heart attack?
I will cook with animal fats.
Cancer?
I will cook with vegetable oils.
Etc..etc..
Starvation?
Then I will not cook.
For the record:
I do the cooking (I am good at it) unless he is better than me in which situation I would not mind his cooking for me in fact I will enjoy it!
EagleWoman: No I wouldn´t "expect", I might "hope" though .... same as he might "hope" if he was busy ... There´salways possibility of cooking together irrespective of who´s busy or not ...As I said in other post ... there´s always tapas ...
I didn´t mean my post to reflect expectations but rather the myriad of possibilites and combinations so the expectation wasn´t always on the same person to be the cook
yep that's understood....I didn´t mean my post to reflect expectations but rather the myriad of possibilites and combinations so the expectation wasn´t always on the same person to be the cook
Then to say whether its conditional, one would need to define what unconditional is and where it relates from...
Don't mind me, have been thinking on it too
almera03: yep that's understood....
Then to say whether its conditional, one would need to define what unconditional is and where it relates from...
Don't mind me, have been thinking on it too
Then to say whether its conditional, one would need to define what unconditional is and where it relates from...
Don't mind me, have been thinking on it too
IMO
If someone "expects" (out of habit or prejudice rather than because the other said they would do it) someone else to do something and gets pissed off if/when it doesn´t happen it´s "conditional". IE I´ll "love" you more when/if you do certain things for me...
If each goes with the flow, is generous, understanding and loving in their giving/receiving, my guess is that conditions come little into it. That applies to cooking as well.
EagleWoman: IMO
If someone "expects" (out of habit or prejudice rather than because the other said they would do it) someone else to do something and gets pissed off if/when it doesn´t happen it´s "conditional". IE I´ll "love" you more when/if you do certain things for me...
If each goes with the flow, is generous, understanding and loving in their giving/receiving, my guess is that conditions come little into it. That applies to cooking as well.
It would be extremely difficult to go through a long term relationship and never have a situation like that (top example) IMOIf someone "expects" (out of habit or prejudice rather than because the other said they would do it) someone else to do something and gets pissed off if/when it doesn´t happen it´s "conditional". IE I´ll "love" you more when/if you do certain things for me...
If each goes with the flow, is generous, understanding and loving in their giving/receiving, my guess is that conditions come little into it. That applies to cooking as well.
So when a situation like that does happen, do you then see the relationship doomed, do you immediately start doubting the longer term survival of the relationship, which would be damaging in it self
Nessa7: Non
It will take about 45 minutes to cook a fresh lamb jalfrazi until then enjoy some tikkela to warm up
almera03: It would be extremely difficult to go through a long term relationship and never have a situation like that (top example) IMO
So when a situation like that does happen, do you then see the relationship doomed, do you immediately start doubting the longer term survival of the relationship, which would be damaging in it self
So when a situation like that does happen, do you then see the relationship doomed, do you immediately start doubting the longer term survival of the relationship, which would be damaging in it self
Good question ...
Difficult moments in a relationship are not what breaks it. What breaks it is how BOTH handle those moments AND the steps that follow... So the answer to your question would depend on both people´s reactions AFTER the situation where one "messes up" in the eyes of the other and he/she has reacted to it.
A few important questions I´ve learned to ask my self
1. Is this going to have an impact on the rest of my life? - the fact he didn´t cook for me today (even though I hoped he would) or remembered my b/day obviously isn´t)
2. Do I prefer to prove my point and be right OR do I prefer to be happy? IE Don´t sweat the small stuff ...
3. For may be bigger issues ... Can I live with it till I´ve worked on forgiveness / How long am I prepared to let this bother me and spoil the quality of my/our days?
OR is it a break deal even if I gorgive when I´m ready?
She can cook anything for me except my steak.
EagleWoman: Good question ...
Difficult moments in a relationship are not what breaks it. What breaks it is how BOTH handle those moments AND the steps that follow... So the answer to your question would depend on both people´s reactions AFTER the situation where one "messes up" in the eyes of the other and he/she has reacted to it.
A few important questions I´ve learned to ask my self
1. Is this going to have an impact on the rest of my life? - the fact he didn´t cook for me today (even though I hoped he would) or remembered my b/day obviously isn´t)
2. Do I prefer to prove my point and be right OR do I prefer to be happy? IE Don´t sweat the small stuff ...
3. For may be bigger issues ... Can I live with it till I´ve worked on forgiveness / How long am I prepared to let this bother me and spoil the quality of my/our days?
OR is it a break deal even if I gorgive when I´m ready?
Thats a good insight thanks....Difficult moments in a relationship are not what breaks it. What breaks it is how BOTH handle those moments AND the steps that follow... So the answer to your question would depend on both people´s reactions AFTER the situation where one "messes up" in the eyes of the other and he/she has reacted to it.
A few important questions I´ve learned to ask my self
1. Is this going to have an impact on the rest of my life? - the fact he didn´t cook for me today (even though I hoped he would) or remembered my b/day obviously isn´t)
2. Do I prefer to prove my point and be right OR do I prefer to be happy? IE Don´t sweat the small stuff ...
3. For may be bigger issues ... Can I live with it till I´ve worked on forgiveness / How long am I prepared to let this bother me and spoil the quality of my/our days?
OR is it a break deal even if I gorgive when I´m ready?
point 2. could though, easily lead to complications if not mentioned, whatever caused it, if left unmarked could become a learned habit, or a prolonged one, thus making the ingnoring of the small stuff, surely obsolete as one cannot continuously overlook something that erks you.
point 3. do you give yourself a timescale on determining forgiving, if so, how long would that be, if you don't give yourself one then the relationship could be in limbo for a long time
I love to cook for my man and I love it when a man cooks its very attractive, if he is cooking for me oooo la la la lol
almera03: Thats a good insight thanks....
point 2. could though, easily lead to complications if not mentioned, whatever caused it, if left unmarked could become a learned habit, or a prolonged one, thus making the ingnoring of the small stuff, surely obsolete as one cannot continuously overlook something that erks you.
point 3. do you give yourself a timescale on determining forgiving, if so, how long would that be, if you don't give yourself one then the relationship could be in limbo for a long time
point 2. could though, easily lead to complications if not mentioned, whatever caused it, if left unmarked could become a learned habit, or a prolonged one, thus making the ingnoring of the small stuff, surely obsolete as one cannot continuously overlook something that erks you.
point 3. do you give yourself a timescale on determining forgiving, if so, how long would that be, if you don't give yourself one then the relationship could be in limbo for a long time
P 2. If it´s something that irks you, wouldn´t class it as "small stuff" ... OR can you accept it as part of who he/she is and love it with the rest of him/her... Sometimes things that used to irk us becoming endearing because they are such apart of the other
IE P3. The operative words are "can I live with it" If the answer is yes, then it shouldn´t affect ALL the areas of the relationship. Both need to be aware and respect the space needed for the personal work. Both should learn & grow from the work. Why give it a time scale? Wouldn´t that be a condition? Why "frame" things? How self-centered does one have to be in a long term relationship? Wanting things to be this way or that way instead of accepting all the phases of the relationship as strengthning and building is what causes disappointment and resentment. And with the build up of those non constructive feelings, eventually breakup.
In my experience.
EagleWoman: P 2. If it´s something that irks you, wouldn´t class it as "small stuff" ... OR can you accept it as part of who he/she is and love it with the rest of him/her... Sometimes things that used to irk us becoming endearing because they are such apart of the other IE
P3. The operative words are "can I live with it" If the answer is yes, then it shouldn´t affect ALL the areas of the relationship. Both need to be aware and respect the space needed for the personal work. Both should learn & grow from the work. Why give it a time scale? Wouldn´t that be a condition? Why "frame" things? How self-centered does one have to be in a long term relationship? Wanting things to be this way or that way instead of accepting all the phases of the relationship as strengthning and building is what causes disappointment and resentment. And with the build up of those non constructive feelings, eventually breakup.
In my experience.
I understand you & don't want to appear I'm argueing a point, you have to remember I'm a man, lolP3. The operative words are "can I live with it" If the answer is yes, then it shouldn´t affect ALL the areas of the relationship. Both need to be aware and respect the space needed for the personal work. Both should learn & grow from the work. Why give it a time scale? Wouldn´t that be a condition? Why "frame" things? How self-centered does one have to be in a long term relationship? Wanting things to be this way or that way instead of accepting all the phases of the relationship as strengthning and building is what causes disappointment and resentment. And with the build up of those non constructive feelings, eventually breakup.
In my experience.
p3. was to do with a bigger issue/s therefore I am assuming (yes that word) that to make a decision on whether its a deal breaker or not, would need to be pondered over, surely that thinking can't be stretched over a long period, what is going on while thats happening, normal happy families, because I'm not sure it could if its a potential deal breaker. What says you can't put a condition on yourself. So the original point was, is there a timescale, you said why apply one, ones applied to make the decision because without making it, that bigger issue is still there and that by itself could ruin the relationship. Is it catch 22.
are there anyone cook for me ???
I will do the same
I will do the same
almera03: I understand you & don't want to appear I'm argueing a point, you have to remember I'm a man, lol
p3. was to do with a bigger issue/s therefore I am assuming (yes that word) that to make a decision on whether its a deal breaker or not, would need to be pondered over, surely that thinking can't be stretched over a long period, what is going on while thats happening, normal happy families, because I'm not sure it could if its a potential deal breaker. What says you can't put a condition on yourself. So the original point was, is there a timescale, you said why apply one, ones applied to make the decision because without making it, that bigger issue is still there and that by itself could ruin the relationship. Is it catch 22.
p3. was to do with a bigger issue/s therefore I am assuming (yes that word) that to make a decision on whether its a deal breaker or not, would need to be pondered over, surely that thinking can't be stretched over a long period, what is going on while thats happening, normal happy families, because I'm not sure it could if its a potential deal breaker. What says you can't put a condition on yourself. So the original point was, is there a timescale, you said why apply one, ones applied to make the decision because without making it, that bigger issue is still there and that by itself could ruin the relationship. Is it catch 22.
Ahh!!! I replied "assuming" it wasn´t a deal breaker!! And the non necessity for time scale applied to that!!
If it´s a potential deal breaker, I think it could be time for "time out" for agreed length of time, so each can evaluate how much they value the relationship before meeting up and discussing how much they value the relationship - and how to move forward OR how little they value the relationship and move on
If I´d been able to wisely put in practice what I just wrote may be I wouldn´t be single...
But I feel that´s what I´ve learned from my experiences ...
nevica: Yes, better i poison him than he me Seriously I am a bit fussy about food, I don't like certain kind of food and don't want to be surprised.
Well, looks like saying to your man, "Eat what am serving you,or prepare your own". Poor man
EagleWoman: Ahh!!! I replied "assuming" it wasn´t a deal breaker!! And the non necessity for time scale applied to that!!
If it´s a potential deal breaker, I think it could be time for "time out" for agreed length of time, so each can evaluate how much they value the relationship before meeting up and discussing how much they value the relationship - and how to move forward OR how little they value the relationship and move on
If I´d been able to wisely put in practice what I just wrote may be I wouldn´t be single...
But I feel that´s what I´ve learned from my experiences ...
Wisdom is only gained through experience, thank you If it´s a potential deal breaker, I think it could be time for "time out" for agreed length of time, so each can evaluate how much they value the relationship before meeting up and discussing how much they value the relationship - and how to move forward OR how little they value the relationship and move on
If I´d been able to wisely put in practice what I just wrote may be I wouldn´t be single...
But I feel that´s what I´ve learned from my experiences ...
almera03: Wisdom is only gained through experience, thank you
You´re welcome Al!!
EagleWoman: How it would work best for me is... If and when I get to be living with a guy again.
If he´s busy, I cook
If I´m busy, he cooks
If we´re both busy, we decide who´s cooking on a meal to meal basis.
If we don´t live together, I cook at mine, he cooks at his.
If neither of us is busy, we cook together whether at mine or his ...
If he Brings his Gf ,would u Cook for Both of them ? If he´s busy, I cook
If I´m busy, he cooks
If we´re both busy, we decide who´s cooking on a meal to meal basis.
If we don´t live together, I cook at mine, he cooks at his.
If neither of us is busy, we cook together whether at mine or his ...
LonelyMontse08: I love to cook for my man and I love it when a man cooks its very attractive, if he is cooking for me oooo la la la lol
roongmitra: are there anyone cook for me ???
I will do the same
Would u cook for me if i Visit Thailand ever ? I will do the same
ali110: If he Brings his Gf ,would u Cook for Both of them ?
No, I like to be observant and read between the lines ....
If he brings his "g/f" it´s an obvious sign they prefer hospital food
EagleWoman: No I wouldn´t "expect", I might "hope" though .... same as he might "hope" if he was busy ... There´salways possibility of cooking together irrespective of who´s busy or not ...As I said in other post ... there´s always tapas ...
I didn´t mean my post to reflect expectations but rather the myriad of possibilites and combinations so the expectation wasn´t always on the same person to be the cook
I didn´t mean my post to reflect expectations but rather the myriad of possibilites and combinations so the expectation wasn´t always on the same person to be the cook
Isn’t whats highlighted a contradiction?
After I read this post of yours, I came to the conclusion that (hope) is an (expectation) of in itself, simply semantics. But, I decided to do some research and found it not to be the case. I now understand that one’s (expectations) have nothing to do with someone else and that a multitude of negative emotions can manifest from the resentment triggered by such. As where going with the flow and living each day with (hope) that the uncertainty of life itself and the people within it actually surprise us. Interesting concept !!!
EagleWoman: No, I like to be observant and read between the lines ....
If he brings his "g/f" it´s an obvious sign they prefer hospital food
If he brings his "g/f" it´s an obvious sign they prefer hospital food
ali110: Would u cook for me if i Visit Thailand ever ?
gentle man first
roongmitra: gentle man first
Im,dont worry Jack68: It will take about 45 minutes to cook a fresh lamb jalfrazi until then enjoy some tikkela to warm up
Sounds fabulous
ali110: Im,dont worry
hospital 's food ?
almera03: hey, whats the point of having a dog and then barking yourself......
its about time us men stop pandering to the "little woman" and take back control of the trouser wearing
its about time us men stop pandering to the "little woman" and take back control of the trouser wearing
If men would wear the trousers, that would be great. When I was married, I cooked, cleaned, did the yard work, home schooled the children, took the cars to the shop AND worked outside the home. What did he do? Worked a few days a month, watched tv, and smoked pot. I'm much better off now that I am divorced.
roongmitra: hospital 's food ?
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and if he doesn't...
No I wouldn´t "expect", I might "hope" though .... same as he might "hope" if he was busy ... There´salways possibility of cooking together irrespective of who´s busy or not ...As I said in other post ... there´s always tapas ...
I didn´t mean my post to reflect expectations but rather the myriad of possibilites and combinations so the expectation wasn´t always on the same person to be the cook