Do you believe widows are desperate for a new mate? (60)
From a friends experience she found her close friends ,,males thought she was out there to meet males for that reason however her new friends came across as caring with not thoughts of going there just to help if needed in the right ways .
You could tell him nicely also,to employ a maid twice a week.
demonfairy: It is a lot to handle,we have to find our selfs again,so to speak,some man e-mailed me looking for a new love said he was a widow,didn't like being a lone.I asked him how long he had been a widow,he said 4 weeks,he didn't like doing house chores,cooking for himself,sleeping alone.I was nice to him explained maybe he needed a little more time,but wished him well on his hunt...everyone is different
Need2clean: From a friends experience she found her close friends ,,males thought she was out there to meet males for that reason however her new friends came across as caring with not thoughts of going there just to help if needed in the right ways .
Just wondering... Did she find it bothersome that people she thought were her friends could be so wrong?
I hear you though from experience where i was the carer I really appreciated afterwards the opportunity to be involved . it was exhausting however it was healing at the same time as each day and each moment made the end more peaceful , and final in that it was finally over for them ......took the focus off my feelings and put it back to how their where coping . Hope this doesn't affend
chris27292729: You could tell him nicely also,to employ a maid twice a week.
yea,no kidding...i haven't talked to him since,probly want either.
Need2clean: I hear you though from experience where i was the carer I really appreciated afterwards the opportunity to be involved . it was exhausting however it was healing at the same time as each day and each moment made the end more peaceful , and final in that it was finally over for them ......took the focus off my feelings and put it back to how their where coping . Hope this doesn't affend
Oh no offense whatsoever. I completely understand and agree. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
It did , she was very judgmental of them from there on ,almost to the point of stereotyping each, sad part it was true they thought she was just waiting for them to call even if they where married ...so blokes are too sick .. it made it had for me to as at the time i was married , i had to tred very carefully and make sure every action was sooo above board and covered to the hilt
Need2clean: It did , she was very judgmental of them from there on ,almost to the point of stereotyping each, sad part it was true they thought she was just waiting for them to call even if they where married ...so blokes are too sick .. it made it had for me to as at the time i was married , i had to tred very carefully and make sure every action was sooo above board and covered to the hilt
Eck..There's lots of little uncomfortable things that go with the package, at least in the beginning.
to you for being sensitive to the issue and remaining a true friend!
demonfairy: Of course it is...but some feel guilty about moving on with a new partner.You even get mad at your partner for dieing and leaving you all alone...its just part of the healing process...may take years for some,some are never ready
Hi,...
I agree with you Demonfairy.....
But,...What if the day comes when you meet someone?....Are we different from others that suffered a loss and be judge because of that?.....Will they have the patience and acceptance to be there either way?.....Just wondering.....
I am not so seaky clean either ,if i wasn't married i might have been another in the line ......not sure however could never say i wouldn't ......she was hot and had those come to bed eyes....i had to tie myself up at times ...i was biting at the bit ..confusing comforting with attension.
If they don't have the patience and acceptance, then you could have found them, as they will be locked up,monks in a monastery.
goddess2009: Hi,...
I agree with you Demonfairy.....
But,...What if the day comes when you meet someone?....Are we different from others that suffered a loss and be judge because of that?.....Will they have the patience and acceptance to be there either way?.....Just wondering.....
I agree with you Demonfairy.....
But,...What if the day comes when you meet someone?....Are we different from others that suffered a loss and be judge because of that?.....Will they have the patience and acceptance to be there either way?.....Just wondering.....
Need2clean: I am not so seaky clean either ,if i wasn't married i might have been another in the line ......not sure however could never say i wouldn't ......she was hot and had those come to bed eyes....i had to tie myself up at times ...i was biting at the bit ..confusing comforting with attension.
None of us are squeaky clean, and nobody ever said life wasn't complicated...
But the key thing is that it sounds as though you made a conscious decision to "take the high road" and do what you thought was the right thing at the time. What more can you ask of anyone?
It depends on the person. Some of them can be desperate while others will have a hard time.
It depends on the person. Some of them can be desperate while others will have a hard time.
chris27292729: If they don't have the patience and acceptance, then you could have found them, as they will be locked up,monks in a monastery.
Hello,...
You could be right and I do appreciate your reply....thank - you
So you are saying that they're not?.....
See I do learn stuff here...
See I do learn stuff here...
feistybug: Young man.
Flattery will get you ...the cheque's in the post.
sassy49senior: I have been a widow for 7 years now, married 36. I definitely miss that special bonding that being in love gave. Some nights are extremely lonely for sure. Does that mean I am ready to hop into bed with the first guy that comes along? NO!!!
I have been hit on so many times by guys thinking that very thing. But as soon as I nix that idea, refuse to watch them supposedly pleasing themselves on the webcam and tell them I do not have a large bank account, most are gone quickly.
However I have also met a few that are very nice and we have remained friends. So not all are after a quick roll in the hay I, like many others, do hope to find someone willing to walk beside me for however long my journey here lasts. But as I stated with one of my pics, I Am Nobody's Fool.
I have been hit on so many times by guys thinking that very thing. But as soon as I nix that idea, refuse to watch them supposedly pleasing themselves on the webcam and tell them I do not have a large bank account, most are gone quickly.
However I have also met a few that are very nice and we have remained friends. So not all are after a quick roll in the hay I, like many others, do hope to find someone willing to walk beside me for however long my journey here lasts. But as I stated with one of my pics, I Am Nobody's Fool.
Sassy your an amazing insightful woman. that is exactly how it is for most of us widows. I want a man like the wonderful man I had for 37 years. Loyal, honest, faithful, and most of all who want's to enjoy the life of sharing everything with that special someone who thinks your the greatest. Thanks for your comments.
Feistybug
davpk10: So you are saying that they're not?.....
See I do learn stuff here...
See I do learn stuff here...
Hi Davpk, let me explain it to you this way..NOT NO HECK NO! We're not looking for a quick roll in the hay we're mostly looking for someone we're compatible with to share lifes laughter and tears and be best of friends with honesty and intergrity. Feistybug
feistybug: Sassy your an amazing insightful woman. that is exactly how it is for most of us widows. I want a man like the wonderful man I had for 37 years. Loyal, honest, faithful, and most of all who want's to enjoy the life of sharing everything with that special someone who thinks your the greatest. Thanks for your comments.
Feistybug
Feistybug
Thank You Feistybug, With me, I am not looking for a man just like my husband. Granted, he was a wonderful man and will always be a part of my life as we brought 5 wonderful children into this world. But that is my past.
I am now on my future journey and the man that is willing to walk this journey with me, will be my future love, with no comparison at all to my late husband. He will be his own person ready to make future, never forgotten memories with me.
WhatUwish4: I do think there is a perception among some to view the widow as desperate for something. At least in the very beginning when you are freshly widowed. I remember a few nerve-wracking experiences right after the funeral when men started turning up for all sorts of unusual reasons. One really young kid showed up and made the world's most awkward pass. If I hadn't been so horrified it would have been funny. To this day he blushes beat read whenever he sees me (I told him to go home or I would call his mommy).
Then I "borrowed" my girlfriend's husband and we set about creating a rumor so everyone would think I had found someone.
Then I "borrowed" my girlfriend's husband and we set about creating a rumor so everyone would think I had found someone.
The worst thing for me was when my husbands best friend (married) offered to "Help me out if I wanted".
My parents were married for 41 years. My father died in '99 and my mother believes she will be with him again one day. She is so devoted to him, she won't get involved with any one else
No
But they would probably like a friend at some point, just as we all would
But they would probably like a friend at some point, just as we all would
erfpistols: friends come and go
LOVE lives on for ever
LOVE lives on for ever
I would so some Love lives forever if you are lucky and not have become divorced.
If not for one friend, who helped me constantly through the divorce, those are rare, I do not know what I would have done.
Love can end, people change, you cannot change people.
But you can hope to find it again. Friends help you as you go throw life.
Friends are the ones who call to find out who you are if you have not heard from you.
Being divorced, I have heard, adjusting to life is similiar to being a widow, but with being a widower is final. Divorce lasts forever. In my case,
I still hear from my Sister-in-law and niece. I also hear from the ex.
Time needed to pass before we could talk again. It is nice to have buried the ax, but you never forget. We are just hear from you, now and again friends. It is better to let go of the anger and move on, then keep it burning.
The Dobe
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How true. Everyone IS different. And everyone also looks for different things in a relationship shich just complicates things in all sorts of directions.
Another point it helps to remember is that death is not always merciful. Sometimes it's a long, drawn-out affair and painful beyond words. Often the spouse is the care-giver, which is quite exhausting but very traumatic. It takes awhile to get any form of normal" life back.
So be gentle peeps!