Wikked, I don't know you very well, but I've had to deal with the death of a parent myself. I can't say that I know what you're going through, everyone has to find their own way of dealing with this, but I can say that you will be able at some point (and in your own time frame) to find a 'new normal' where you can carry on with things. That may be very soon, but it may be a while - don't rush it. Cry when you need to, if you want to. Remember the good stuff (my Dad had cancer too, so I know of what I speak here) and find things you are comfortable doing. I actually 'dove' into a paper that I had to do for a class I was taking at the time. There are friends here that will be here if you need them (count me among them).
I think it's a mindset. You can be involved with someone but not really committed to them (not saying I agree with this at all)so when it's said they are single and available - in one respect they are. I've heard those words myself - but the words themselves don't mean anything if the rest of it doesn't back them up. If they're concerned with what's on the other side of the fence - I'm just as likely to open the gate and push them through...then slam it shut. That having been said - I am single and available...
I've been doing some reading on the 'net' and some of this information is what I've been hearing from other sources. They didn't mention anything about the solar systems though. It is quite interesting reading (in my opinion) and can give a person a lot to think about. On a lighter note - guess I'll have to be living in a log house or even an adobe by then...
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Certainly you can't be faulted for raising your kids - that's wonderful! You are right, not many men step up to the plate like that, I hear of too many who run the other way. What to do? I would suggest you keep looking, if she runs away - because of the children or for whatever reason - seems to me she's not the right one. Maybe some don't want a ready-made family or they think your plate is already full and maybe no room for them. It may not really be that way - but if that's how it's perceived they may not stick around to ask questions...but what do I know - I'm certainly no expert on relationships and my relationship history proves it! Besides, I've never had children or been married, so maybe I shouldn't even have posted in this thread.....
Wouldn't ya know it, this was the first thread I opened up this morning? Looks very interesting but I think I need another cup of coffee and then take another read through before I comment.....
Well, I'm definately not looking for money. I've been on my own long enough to know that I can make it on my own and be comfortable. I've also never really thought about getting married - maybe that's because I haven't found the right guy to make me think that way. So, for me to marry - it would have to be for love....
I hope everything works out for you with him. Get well soon. I can't think of any questions at the moment, but to be quite honest, it's Friday evening and I haven't quite been able to slip into 'weekend mode' myself yet. But when I do - I reserve the right to come back and question, but seriously, take care of yourself first (both health and safety) the rest will follow....
I have to agree with the comments above cautioning you. I would be very leery of him wanting to make such a drastic change so soon. Be careful. Maybe if you tell him you don't want him to move there (at least until you've met for coffee - public place), he'll say that he was looking to move anyway/make a new start somewhere and just hadn't decided where - you can find out where his head is at, what he's thinking. He could be more into this than you realise he is. Maybe it's in his nature just to pick up and take off - if you are going to be in a relationship with him, that's not a bad thing to know early on. I think moving is a very big step and not one to be taken lightly. On the other hand, if his mind is made up to move, how are you going to stop him? You don't have any control over that - but you do have control over what you do. Just out of curiosity, what was your initial reaction when he said he was going to move there? The one before the brain started racing? What I'm getting at is intuition.
I'm partial to Mike's line of thought. I've taken criticism in past years for not 'going to church', what I've done in the past was saddle up a horse and disappear for a couple of hours....now I go for a walk, a drive in the country, sometimes even just some quiet moments with my cat curled up in my lap. My point here is to find where you feel at peace, someplace you want to be all times (good and not so good) with people you want to be around.
I don't think love itself is complicated. Love is simple, it's an either/or sort of deal. You either love someone or you don't. There is no in between, even when you're getting to know them you have an inclination one way or the other - it helps you decide if you want to get to know them better. Seems to me that we complicate it ourselves by dressing it up, putting conditions on it or holding out for a perfect one that may not be there. This is where the fear and second guessing comes in, wondering if you fall too fast that you may be missing out on the perfect one down the road. Am I rambling or is any of this making sense?
All of them. I'm getting better at trusting my sixth sense, when I don't I usually get into trouble. I've been told my hearing is right up there with dogs and bats. And I love to touch...
I think Dreamer nailed it - until you have that discussion to establish your relationship (and whether or not you continue seeing other people) then you're both still free-agents. Maybe you should consider checking out other items on the menu - doesn't necessarily mean you have to 'order' anything...enjoy yourself. And if you need to talk - you know where to find us....
Definately! A guy that can cook would be wonderful. It doesn't have to be anything fancy - more that he's willing to go and prepare a meal. And being able to feed yourself isn't a bad thing. One of my brothers is really good in the kitchen, he really enjoys it and you can see it when he's turned loose on a visit to my place or my sister's. On a different note, mealmaking can be fun, and with the right person it could be really fun (wink).
I haven't been on here very long either. While there are a couple that have peaked my interest - I don't really know anybody very well yet. We'll see...
I learned a long time ago that I can be happy living anywhere - as long as I have my animals. Of course, if there was more room there would be more (and larger) animals.
blueeyes2012 Forum Posts (256)
RE: Walk down the aisle to this...! :O)
Think Louis Armstrong did the original but Willie Nelson did a version too...I like both. I would also consider "To Each His Own" by Willie.