Yep, I've started to get some weird ones. Today I've received 2 marriage proposals from army guys based in Afghanistan. They didn't explain how we'd meet or when they'd be home. Maybe they think I'd agree to get married over Skype or something.
I didn't think that Shane and Simone were officially back together anyway, so I wasn't surprised by this. I was surprised that it was Liz Hurley as I didn't know her marriage was over. So I guess these two considered themselves free agents and we just weren't up to date with the news. Do cheaters change their ways? No, not in my opinion. Unless people are cheating for a specific reason (their partner is cruel/emotionally absent)cheating usually stems from arrogance: "I'm great, why should I limit myself to one person?"
Some people start out nice and polite but get blind drunk and find their courage at a keyboard. Others have joined fairly nasty forum sites initially and think that's just what you do online. And others I think are just genuinely entertained by it all, assuming that no-one takes their comments seriously anyway.
I do know some people from online who have fairly nasty forum personas on a couple of sites, but are pleasant and delightful on other sites. I think some of these people use their nasty sites like therapy. Online chatting is bizarre. I do believe that eventually, people show their real persona online - they can't help it, just like people in the Big Brother house after a few weeks.
If you are sharing finances, then you may have some say/influence. Many guys I've dated have claimed that 'he with the most toys wins' and spent their lives devoted to that mission. It's not the time they didn't spend on me, but the money they didn't spend on me, that annoyed me with some of them. Some of these boys with their toys can be pretty self-absorbed.
It's not clear whether you ever met this girl in real life, or just online. As a female, having read what she messaged to you, I'd say that there is someone else on the scene, or she has simply changed her mind - something she is entitled to do, since neither of you made any promises to each other. I don't think she meant to hurt you - you are both in different countries leading different lives and she has moved on, I think. Sorry.
Xmas is a really rough year for a lot of people. For me, it's the anniversary of an engagement split and a death of a family member, so it's a tricky time for me. Like you sultry I tend to keep busy.
Hard question to answer unless you have a frame of reference. I've never been a stay at home mum and with housing prices the way they are, it's unlikely to happen. I talk to women who elect to stay at home and they all end up going and getting part time jobs anyway because they are bored (this is my friends I'm talking about, not all women)
I think women (and men) are happier if they feel like their life has some purpose. Being a homemaker and mother is one of the biggest privileges anyone can experience - but let's face it, those days are gone for most. For women who do stay at home, they are surrounded by career girls with disposable cash which can't be easy.
Yep. How big is the universe? How can there be no end to it - and if there is an end to it, what ELSE is there? I have tried to talk through this issue with people and given myself a migraine in the process.
I'd have to disagree here. It would be my man I'd be angry with, not the girl. The girl probably wouldn't even know he had a girlfriend. If the girl was a friend of mine, that's a different story.
I have definitely learned through dating (online dating especially) about what kinds of guys I am better suited to and what kind of guys I should avoid at all costs. I have a very well tuned 'danger' radar now. I can spot someone untrustworthy very quickly. The main lesson I've learned through dating was the most surprising one of all - nice guys are actually not boring. Wish I'd known that when I was 19. Wonder where all those nice guys are now that I dismissed out of hand back in the early days? Hopefully with someone who appreciates them a lot more than I did.
I can't imagine anything worse. People taking my photo when I go out for the milk at night; going through my rubbish bin; 2 million people blogging about why I'm overpaid and how crap I actually am. Only certain types of people enjoy this attention instead of slowly going mad.
This is an interesting post. It's obvious that for you, there's a lot more to life than money. That's cool - I can respect that. I guess I'm not sure how that makes a person more 'real' - or less 'real' if the security of a mortgage appeals.
I'm sure that there are women who would love to lead a nomadic lifestyle, getting real and keeping needs basic. It's harder when you have children and many women want kids. Most of us do want financial stability - we don't need men for that these days thankfully, but generally speaking, living costs money.
Anyway, good luck finding that girl who doesn't want anything from life but your company.
I wouldn't give out my phone number on a dating site unless I had chatted online with them for quite some time and I already had theirs. I usually prefer to call them first and mask my ID. Might sound paranoid but you never really know, do you. BTW, if the guy won't give you a home phone number, he's usually married.
I still have a Japanese peace lily that a friend gave me to mind 6 years ago. She ended up living overseas permanently so I kept it. They love water so I haven't been able to kill it. Pretty proud of myself there actually.
Audi's are nice. Hummers alwasys make me think that gansta rappers are inside. Not that's there anything wrong with that. I've never heard of a Samand.
In truth, that's a question only you can answer. My opinion: Even if you truly regret the decision, you'll have to be honest with yourself (and kind to yourself) because it sounds like it was your only option at the time.
Life is short and you have to be happy. If a family wasn't and isn't what you wanted, that's perfectly okay. Your decision also gave your ex a chance to go and get the life she wanted too.
The decision might feel wrong now if you've changed your mind and you now what everything your ex wanted. If you still feel the same way though, I think you absolutely made the right decision.
For what it's worth, I've dated a couple of guys from the army who had kids and being stationed O.S, they rarely saw them. I don't think kids was ever part of their plan either. They do love their kids and anyone who has children will tell you, most never 'feel ready' for children.
Sure. It's okay if that's what makes him happy, but it would trouble me if he were my romantic partner. It may not bother others. I suspect it's more common than I realise. Everyone needs to be happy and if this is something the guy really needs to do, then he should. Hopefully he has an understanding partner who supports it. Many cross dressers have to 'negotiate' with their partners about when they will dress up, for example, they won't do it in front of family, or in the bedroom, for example. To each their own.
I don't think dating sites are much different to people you might meet in a bar or a party, or anywhere else in RL. Some people are nice, some are revolting; some are trustworthy, some are not. You always find out the truth about people eventually, online it is probably just faster.
My advice would be to not divulge too much personal information upfront; take time to get to know the person you are chatting with. I have met some delightful people online who are good friends to this day. It's definitely no easier than in RL though. I also think that there's a lot to be said for internet karma - if you treat people well and with respect online, it's more than likely that they will do the same in return. Take care.
Sometimes a break can help you to pay attention to the good stuff you'd stopped noticing. After a break up though, it's easy (for me anyway) to remember the good times; somehow, the bad times don't seem so bad when you are lonely.
No harm in giving it another whirl unless of course, the relationship was harmful or distressing for you & this is why you ended it before. I think you probably know in your gut already whether he really is the guy you can't be without, or whether you just miss how you felt when the re'ship was going well. I don't bleieve that love conquers all but I know know a lot of couples who split, gave it another go and didn't regret it.
My brother in law is just like you - my sister could meet up with 5 ex boyfriends all on the same day and he would say to her - "Have fun, give them my best." He loves her intensely but her being unfaithful just doesn't worry him - he knows that she would never do it. Jealousy can be a sign that people feel unsure about the other persons feelings espec in a new relationship. Women sometimes think that they'll feel flattered by their boyfriend's jealousy -until they experience it; then, they often wish that they could date someone like you. So don't worry.
I don't think the world is full of players, at least I hope not. I suspect that a lot of the time, it's just people who are perhaps trying to be polite and avoid hurting someone else's feelings. I'm with you - I would never ask to meet someone I didn't want to meet - that would be a waste of my time, not to mention theirs. However, I have said I'd call people and then didn't - it was easier than saying "I don't see this heading anywhere and you won't hear from me again." If someone doesn't call me, I get the message - I don't need any further explanation. JMO.
I think many do seek the same type of person over and over; most people have an idea in their minds of the sort of person they are really looking/hoping for. It's often (my opinion only here)the exact replica of the one-who-got-away; the one they wanted and couldn't have.
When I talk to my friends with really happy and successful marriages, they all tell me the same thing: they NEVER thought that they would end up with the person they are with now, but thank God that they did. So I think you raise a really interesting point gogirl - how often do we really know what's best for us? And how often do we just ignore our dating instincts because we are too infatuated?
daisy333 Forum Posts (514)
RE: IF YOU WERE GOD
I'd swoop down in all my gold splendour and glory with angels/harps etc and do a press conference. That would sort out the "I don't exist" stuff.