xxLilyxx Forum Posts (3,678)

RE: just thought i would start a random thread!

Too right, and a thermal vest. Its bleeding freezing down here

RE: The chat about anything thread...............

Nope, doesn't work

RE: The chat about anything thread...............

Hi Baileys, whether you can use outside smilies on CS forums, all depend on if CS have the boards set up to allow this to happen

One way of finding out, see if it works

RE: just thought i would start a random thread!

I've got a bag of winter warmers, England. Want one?

RE: consider your self flowered

Hiya

Depends what the contents of the message is

RE: !Genuine People! q=o) (Long Post??)

Hiya Kat

How are you?

RE: consider your self flowered

Hi aaalondon

I'm not sure if, consider your self flowered, is brush off from women I usually just reply with a, thank you and good luck

RE: !Genuine People! q=o) (Long Post??)

I'm good thanks, D. Not such a long week for me, thank gawd, three days left, then I'm off until the 26th

No compliments?? Oh well, was worth a try

RE: anybody........

Ah yeah, but ya know what chavs are like, one of them probably nicked the 5th seat

RE: !Genuine People! q=o) (Long Post??)

Hey, look Drazic, d=o ya can wear ya cap the other way around Jeeeez, ya got me at it now

RE: anybody........

You stay just as you are Baileys, least we can understand you

And texting If she texts me, I have to ring her up to find out what the eck she's wrote

RE: anybody........

Oh yeah, attitude and a half

Does yours do dodgy head bobbing movements when she's talking to you with attitude? I've nicknamed my daughter Churchill cos she reminds me of that stupid bloody dog in the ads that nods its head

RE: Does a car do it for you?

I dunno Baileys

I'm juggling peeking on here and ironing school uniforms, I'm bound to burn something soon

RE: anybody........

So is mine, jeeez, I'm proud of her

RE: anybody........

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car!
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a used car here we'd get screwed ...so we're just waiting."

RE: anybody........

A mans walks into chemists

"Do you have any deodorant?", he asks the assistant.

"Ball or aerosol?" the assistant enquires.

"Armpit" says the man...

RE: anybody........

PMSL

RE: anybody........

Thats worse than mine jokes I mean

RE: anybody........

A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards...you need:

A Heart to love him,
A Diamond to marry him,
A Club to smash his head in, and
A Spade to bury the old git

RE: anybody........

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - COLD As Ever."

"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: "Here Lies My Husband - STIFF At Last."

RE: anybody........

RE: anybody........

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

RE: anybody........

RE: anybody........

Was that to me

RE: anybody........

Well, I didn't think them up myself
Just what friends send through e-mmails, warped lot of friends I have

RE: !Genuine People! q=o) (Long Post??)

Hi Pooh

Nice to meet you
Hope you enjoy it here

RE: anybody........

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in a lovely display box.

The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house a woman in her lingerie met him at the door. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the lady fixed him a giant breakfast: bacon, eggs, tomatoes, sausages and freshly squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, but what's the £5 for?"

Well," She said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, "Screw him. Give him fiver."

She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

RE: anybody........

Ok hun, you asked for it

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pre-tending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."

RE: !Genuine People! q=o) (Long Post??)

Of course I remember it, it was on here yesterday, me memory aint quite that bad just yet

RE: anybody........

Do you want some more Nikki?