A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, John.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk.
I am doing good Just a really long wek I had a market tour today again the second one in 2 weeks but it over now so I am just happy it went very well .............I miss our friend but we have to do bar night tomorrow
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?
The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."
What is happening here? Something is going on That's not quite clear Somebody turn on the light We're gonna have a party It's starting tonight
Oh, what a feeling! When we're dancing on the ceiling The room is hot...that's good Some of my friends came By from the neighbourhood People were starting To climb the walls Ooh, it looks like everybody Is having a ball
Everybody starts to lose control When the music is right If you see somebody hanging around Don't get up right The only thing we wanna do tonight Is go round and round And turn upside down Come on, let's get down
So come on, let's get loose Don't hold back Because it ain't no use Hard to keep your feet on the ground Because when we like to ball it We only want to get down What? you say what? It's love now... Just get started Everybody clap your hands, come on Everybody have sense...
I can't fool myself, I don't want nobody else to ever love me You are my shinin' star, my guiding light, my love fantasy There's not a minute, hour, day or night that I don't love you You're at the top of my list 'cause I'm always thinkin' of you
I still remember in the days when I scared to touch you How I spent my day dreamin' plannin' how to say I love you You must have known that I had feelings deep enough to swim in That's when you opened up your heart and you told me to come in
Oh, my love A thousand kisses from you is never too much I just don't wanna stop
Oh, my love A million days in your arms is never too much I just don't wanna stop
Too much, never too much, never too much, never too much
Woke up today, looked at your picture just to get me started I called you up, but you weren't there and I was broken hearted Hung up the phone, can't be too late, the boss is so demandin' Opened the door up and to my surprise there you were standin'
Well, who needs to go to work to hustle for another dollar I'd rather be with you 'cause you make my heart scream and holler Love is a gamble and I'm so glad that I'm winnin' We've come a long way and yet this is only the beginnin'
Oh, my love A thousand kisses from you is never too much (Never too much, never too much, never too much) I just don't wanna stop
Oh, my love A million days in your arms is never too much (Never too much, never too much, never too much) And I just don't wanna stop
Oh, my love A thousand kisses from you is never (Never too much, never too much, never too much) I just don't wanna stop
Oh, my love A million days in your arms is never too much
desmond Forum Posts (10,888)
Blonde Got a job !
A blonde visits a police precinct looking for a job,so the officer asks her a few questions.
"What's five plus five?" he asks.
"Umm...ten," the blonde replies.
"And the square root of 25?"
"It's 5."
"OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the blonde.
"Go home and come back when you know the answer." says the cop.
The blonde goes home and calls one of her friends, who asks if she got
the
job.
"Not only did I get it," answers the blonde,
"but I'm already working on a murder case!"