desmond Forum Posts (10,888)

The night club is open

Barry always a pleasure hanging with you se you soon

The night club is open

so true but I can give you so much more than a pay check

The night club is open

so what i think does not really count

The night club is open

Door Hinge

A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''

She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''

The night club is open

I am great some chocolatew eggs coming right up

The night club is open

what can I do you are perfect

The night club is open

welcome how are you

The night club is open

Yes happy easter now who want chocolate

The night club is open

The night club is open

the cloaer i hold you the more i want to dance with you seeing your smile make my heart skip a beat hoping the song never ends

The night club is open

pulling you closer look deep into your eyes and smile as i rap my hands around you waist know I must be in heaven

The night club is open

pulling you close tell you how amazing you look tonight as we dance

The night club is open

The night club is open

beautiful lady can I have the hext dance please

The night club is open

more wine and shots keeping the party going




but what can I do to get sunshine to dance with me

The night club is open

Hired Help

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, ''Who is this?''

''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.

''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.

The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''

The man says, ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''

The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.''

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''

The maid says, ''What will I have to do?''

The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.''

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?''

The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.''

Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.''

A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309?''

RE: Say something to someone,no need to name names..

You always put a smile on my face you are tryly one in a million a lady in the true word,,,,,,,,,,someone that make life special and wonder why did god bless me with bringing her into my life

The night club is open

ROFLMFAO wait howling

RE: Say something to someone,no need to name names..

Just love your new picture but wait love all your pictures you are a beautiful sweet lady

The night club is open

I am never to busy for you I am just a real down to earth person who love friends and enjoy life and never to busy for you

The night club is open

coming right up but with the sambucha do you want white or bacl sambucha sweetie

The night club is open

well we all laugh and have fun her and I do it also but I never push myself on anyone so it is my bad for not understanding that I did and my lost you are a sweetheart

The night club is open

Barry I must Keep you laughing





Damned If I Know

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

The night club is open

I am a master salad shef Tina do you need something to be tossed

The night club is open

The night club is open

Eighteen Double Vodkas

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

The night club is open

Hillary Clinton's OB-GYN

Hillary Clinton went for her annual exam. After the exam, the OB-GYN told her that she was pregnant, and in great shape. Hillary couldn't believe the news and stormed out of the office. She rushed to her limo and picked up the phone to call the Oval Office.

"You got me pregnant! How could you be so careless?" There is a silence on the other end. Finally, she hears Bill's voice.

"Who is this?''

The night club is open

Fifty-Dollar Bet

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars that he wouldn't stick his di*k in the pickle slicer.
The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.
“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband

The night club is open

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH don't say that to loud they don't know it yet

The night club is open

the doctor was talking about seconds to live not days or months