Best of Late Night  Paris Hilton has filed a lawsuit demanding the closure of a Web site where visitors can pay money to view her naked photos of her. Which is pretty amazing — you know, that there are still people out there who haven’t seen Paris Hilton naked.
 Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine says that he wants Michael to convert to Islam. Islam? How about converting to the human race — try that first.
 As you know, Hillary Clinton has decided to run for president. She’s thrown her hat into the ring. And then bill threw his ring into the drawer. Party! Party!
 According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don’t know . . . The only time I have ever seen a marijuana user look panicky is when they are out of marijuana.
ï‚· In Omaha, Nebraska, they are opening what they call ' America 's first terror-free gas station.' The good news? They will only sell petroleum products from countries that like us. The bad news? They only have eight gallons
ï‚· Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made a surprise visit to Iraq over the weekend. Actually, the one who was most surprised was Nancy . Bush told her she was going to Cancun
ï‚· John Kerry has announced he will not run for president in 2008. But, he has not ruled out losing in 2012
 After hitting record high temperatures earlier this month, New York has now hit a record low. It was 9 degrees in Central Park today. They’re warning New Yorkers now not to leave their middle fingers exposed for more than a couple of seconds.
 Michael Jackson’s back home in the USA . Parents are being warned to keep their children away from cotton candy machines, bounce houses and the circus.
Well... most of the ladies I've met here... feel they are special and there should be something very special in the guy they are looking for (whether his good looks, poetic skills, humor sense, understanding nature, loving character and what not) That means no ordinary man...
In short the man has to be "interesting", as most of the ladies have made up their mind that they will not accept any ordinary man
I don't understand what is the yardstick for measuring these skills... because a smart guy (intelligent I mean) can fool any gal if he really makes a sincere attempt, just have wear those shoes (in which a gal wants to see him) temoporarily...
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.
A few days later he received this report:
MOST HONORABLE SIR: YOU LEAVE HOUSE, I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW. HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW. HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE. HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE. I PLAY WITH ME.... I FALL OFF TREE. I NO SEE. NO FEE, CHEN LEE.
One night, Tom does what he normally does --- he kisses his wife, crawls into bed and falls asleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe sitting next to him!
"What the heck are you doing in my bedroom...and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied. "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog would be too tiring, but a hen would probably have a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
And in the next second, he found himself nicely feathered and in a chicken farm. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Tom asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.
The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Doggone it Tom! Wake up! You're messin' up the bed sheets again!"
Santa and his two friends are hanging out at a bar. They're talking about life, sports and other things when the conversation finally gets around to their marriages.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "You know what? I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Banta, surprised by the candor of his friends, decides to come forth with his marital concerns: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse."
Both his friends look at him, of course, with utter disbelief.
"No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. Anyone who has dealt with an estate will agree with this.
A lady died this past November, and Citibank billed her for December and January for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections." Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!) Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?" Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) Supervisor gets on the phone:Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?" Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given) Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given)
After they get the fax: Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care." Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?" Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69." Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
I beleived Indian gals were the most beautiful (since most of the American, German and Malaysian gals never impressed me) :)
Later when I visited Denmark... I found some of the most beautiful gals there... every gal I met was beautiful than the other... Now, in Sweden also I see some good looking gals... Scandinavia rocks :)
But Chinese gals are my alltime favourates...
My French supervisor was telling the most beautiful gals he has seen is from "Lebenon"
Those in and/or around Stockholm or those who plan to visit Stockholm in near future... reply to this.
We can get to know each other... the place, nice "to do" and "not to do" things here... dating tips in Stockholm :) and anythign interesting about Stockholm !
Don't worry Smoky... u will hear from me when I leave (if at all) this virtual world. I'm online most of the till midnight after my work hours.
Even though not getting many responses to my threads and my profile I'm enjoying all the posts here. You people (especially u, Jan and Freeze) rock !
It may not be completely true if I say I didn't get any response at all. I got 5 flowers and 8 mails and even spoke to a lady over SKYPE. Things are not working out fast as I expected but there is still fun.
Planning to do a round of Stockholm city tomorrow and day after...
Don't worry... I can take it the rigth way... U called me intelligent, young and handsome, thanks for that... I will make intelligent conclusions.
This is not my first trip to Europe... I've been seeing people for a couple of years now. Mostly old guys have these kind of problems... we can leave it to them may be frustrated with their own problems and short comings...
In this era of globalisation... life is too short to worry about color and ethnicity of people we meet. People who have lived their life might not understand... but I don't think its a matter of concernt to most of the "young" people around :)
But having said all that, I respect those criticism. They have some valid points too... experience is not always right :)
I'm here from India... and my job requires me to keep visiting Europian countries quite often something like 3 to six months every year.
I've seen beautiful ladies here (especially in Copenhagen and Stokcholm) and when I spend my weekends and holidays alone... wonder if I could make friends with some of these ladies. Just wanted to know how the European ladies like (or dislike) guys from outside?
Or they are so mature and liberated that only quality matters more than anythign else?
mak_in Forum Posts (116)
but there is still fun.
RE: Where's my PRINCE CHARMING???
then u r at the wrong place looking for the wrong person !-Mak