Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked what they were doing. Paddy: 'We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.
'The blonde took a spanner from her purse, Loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She pulled a tape measure from her pocket, took a few measurements and announced that it was eighteen feet and six inches. She then walked off.
Mick said: 'Now, to be sure, isn't that just like a blonde! We need the height and she gives us the length.
When I asked the support on cs how to post the photo's, they informed me to send the pix to them, and that they would post the pix in a thread for me, this was done before as well for the other malta event.....
Donau, if you don't know what goes where by now, there's no reason to tell you ..............but I merely meant there goes another joke thread fallen flat
lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and once in a while a $20 bill flies out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her.
''Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.'' ''Damn!' says the little old lady... ''I'd better go back and see if I can find some of them. Thanks for the warning!'' ''Well, now, not so fast,'' says the cop. ''How did you get all that money? Did you steal it? '' ''Oh, no'', says the little old lady. ''You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the Football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his thingie through the bushes, I say: '$20 or off it comes!' '' ' ''Hey, not a bad idea!'' laughs the cop. ''Good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag? '' ''Well'', says the little old lady, ''Not all of them pay!! ''
> > It was my first time ever, > > And I'll never forget. > > I'd do it again > > Without a single regret. > > > > The sky was dark, > > The moon was high, > > We were all alone: > > Just she and I. > > > > Her hair was soft, > > Her eyes were blue, > > I knew just what > > She wanted to do. > > > > Her skin so soft, > > Her legs so fine, > > I ran my fingers > > Down her spine. > > > > I didn't know how > > But I tried my best, > > I started by placing > > My hands on her breast. > > > > I remember my fear, > > My fast beating heart, > > But slowly she spread > > Her legs apart. > > > > And when I did it, > > I felt no shame; > > All at once > > The white stuff came. > > > > At last it's finished, > > It's all over now. > > My first time ever > > At milking a cow... > > > > > > > >
> >Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side. > >"When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home > >was take off my > >trousers," he said. "I gave them to your mother and told her to put > >them on. > >When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that she > >couldn't > >possibly wear them, as they were too large. " I told her, "of course > >they're > >too big. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will" > >Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem." > > > >Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone after > >the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers, gave them > >to Jill and > >told her to put them on. > >Jill said that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly > wear > > > >them. "Exactly," replied Jack. "I wear the trousers in this > >relationship and I always will. I don't want you to forget that". > >Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these > >on," > >she said, so he tried them on but they were too small. "I can't > >possibly get > >into your knickers," said Jack. "Exactly," replied Jill. > >"And if you don't change your f*cking attitude,you never will." > > > >
Jacko50 Forum Posts (371)
RE: Malta CS Get-Together-Sept 7th Pics
Yet you still remain alive