see, now i gotta disagree. soulmates definitely exist. it's just that we've romanticised the idea of them. i personally believe i've found my soul mate. she's my best friend. we got together like peanut butter and chocolate.
you don't. you should email for awhile. then move up to phone conversations. then when you are finally ready to meet, do it in a very public place. DO NOT ever invite someone you've met online to your home or go to theirs for a first meeting. also, it's not a bad idea to have a friend around for that first meeting. they don't have to be a part of the date. maybe just have them sit at a nearby table at the restaurant . . .
throwing acid on someone is totally different than say . . . telling a lie. . .
as child molestation is totally different than cheating on your so . . .
and we pay for it all. ever told a lie and the next day find out that your child or so or friend has lied to you? or did you cheat on your so once and years later had one cheat on you? it's called karma folks.
even if the legal systems don't condemn criminals to the same punishment as the crime they committed, society will. for example, rapists/child molesters are the bottom of the food chain in prisons . . . often getting the same or worse done to them.
perhaps if more criminals realized that the things they did to others would be done to them in return, the world would be a better place?
different cultures do things differently. is it really our place to judge them?
also, it has been studied and arranged marriages often work out for the best. how can we say their way is wrong when over 50% of unarranged marriages end in divorce? seems like neither way is perfect to me. and this is simply their culture. it is the way things have been done for thousands of years.
even here in the united states, and there in the uk, arranged marriages were the norm until just the last century.
don't judge them too harshly. it is not like she is being married right now. and do not make assumptions that you understand. perhaps if you do talk to the parents, find out what the actual plan is. take the opportunity to learn about a culture that is not your own. i understand your disgust with it. you are an independent western womyn. you have been taught to make your own choices from a young age. their culture is simply different than yours. try to keep an open mind. allow your daughter to continue her friendship. perhaps as the family spends more time in this culture their minds will be changed. perhaps not. all you can do is be a friend.
maybe it's what you're saying in the emails? i personally don't respond to them if it's clear that the guy hasn't bothered to read my profile. just looking at my pictures irritates me. i know i'm pretty cute (not drop dead gorgeous or anything, i'm not that conceited :) ) but if all a guy has to say to me is that he thinks i'm pretty . . . well, doesn't really set a standard. ask me a question that expounds on my profile . . . or tell me what it is about my profile that you like, you'll be much more likely to get a response.
i can't speak for every womyn, but i'd wager a guess and say most would agree with me.
for me it's been a lil earlier than most. i tend to be friends with someone before dating them and most times i'm not even aware that a relationship may be starting. and my friends know my daughter, that's just how it is.
but if i were to start fresh with dating, i'd have to say, i'd wait a lil longer. prolly until the relationship began to move into seriousness. i don't think i could be in a serious relationship if he didn't even know my daughter, she's such a huge part of who i am. but try to introduce them in a non threatening way. just a day at the park or in a group of friends. you don't want them (kids or so) to get attached if it's not going to work!
i personally love it. my daughter and i are super close. there's no one to second guess my decisions. no one to fight with over how to raise her. plus, i think it does make dating easier . . . if i go out with a guy and he's not into kids, or he doesn't seem like he would be good with her, then it's a no go. :)
again, what makes you think you have grown up? seems to me you're just a child yourself.
you say you don't want to be judged, but you are judging me based on what? my age? i'm the same age as you. besides, it is a scientific fact that womyn mature faster than boys.
and, i forget who said it, but i agree, you did seem to just walk away.
also, the saying is not that it takes a REAL man to raise someone else's children. it's actually said, any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad. dating a single mother DOES NOT make you a father. and as one, i would run screaming from any man who came into my life and immediately tried parenting my daughter. i've been doing it for 3 years on my own, and really, i got this. thanks.
maybe you should actually consider that it takes a REAL man to love a womyn, despite what her past is, and only a REAL man can LEARN to embrace her and her children, and learn to love them in the capacity SHE CHOOSES!
and thank you lush for pointing out the obvious! WE DID NOT GET OURSELVES PREGNANT!!!!
also, SINGLE MOTHERS ARE NOT LOOKING FOR A HERO!!! WE ARE THE HEROS!
most single mothers DO NOT want some guy to come into their lives and take over for them. most of us enjoy being a single mother. we're not looking for you to come take over our parenting for us. if anything you should feel blessed if someone as amazing as a single mother dains to allow you into her life . . . not the other way around.
i gotta say, this whole thread has me a lil heated. besides the attacks on single mothers, the creepiness of the original post this guy has attacked me because i am the same age as him! i'm "trampy" and "immature". what makes you so mature mr.op? what makes you so confident anyone womyn would want you?
you silly, silly boy. grow up. and then maybe you will find that special (godhelpher) someone!
kimi_girl Forum Posts (39)
RE: soulmate detector !!!
see, now i gotta disagree. soulmates definitely exist. it's just that we've romanticised the idea of them. i personally believe i've found my soul mate. she's my best friend. we got together like peanut butter and chocolate.soulmate does not equal romantic love