Well, I am a lawyer who cares deeply about justice. So I'll let you use your powers of deductive reasoning to decide whether I have ever taken a side.
Please just consider this point: I think it is not necessarily helpful to take a side in this discussion. I am even proposing that not taking a side may create a benefit.
GP, usually I resist sarcasm (as Jack Nicholson said: "Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin"). But I did get a good belly laugh out of your comment (truthfully).
You are a bright and humorous guy. We just have to make sure your talents are channeled to suit your best interests. I mean that sincerely, with your best interests at heart.
Yes GP I am paying attention. I can see all of the negative things I listed present in this thread in terms of gender relations.
I am just trying to present some comments that are neutral and principled. Along those lines, I am not entering into the disputes or taking sides - so to speak.
Such things as understanding, kindness, generosity, loyalty, and sweet rapport can lead to a rich, interesting, and fulfilling life.
It is the stuff of genuine romance and laughter and happiness.
Conflict on the other hand (in the intimate context), can often lead to stress, emptiness, and failure.
No relationship is perfect; in that sense, some conflict will occur. Yet it should be minimal and should have a useful purpose. Although in the final analysis, the underlying values set the stage for what is likely to follow.
Regarding my friends, of course I have friends both male and female - as I am sure all of you do.
If the dialogue does not change, there will be a lot of lonely men and women in old age.
If the hostility, sarcasm, alienation, and raw competition do not give way to politeness, gentleness, sensitivity, and respect, the ultimate result will not be good for men or women.
Yes, some luck helps. Yet I do subscribe to the idea that wisdom comes from making mistakes, which can then guide us toward making better choices. Unfortunately, my capacity to understand things better has come at a great cost.
Regarding your point about the minority: I have found that what defines a culture is what you find in the majority of cases. If 7 out of 10 are superficial, the culture will be superficial (I won't say which culture I am referring to, but I am American, so you can guess). If, as in the UK, 7 or 8, or maybe even 9 out of 10 are polite, then you will have a polite culture.
Where I come from, the majority has spoiled it for the minority. Because just as courtesy and compassion are contagious, so are rudeness and insensitivity. Fortunately the UK has not spiraled into social chaos. As Orwell said: "Tolerance and decency are deeply rooted in England . . ." But in the second part of that sentence he issued a warning: "ut they are not indestructible, and they must be preserved partly through conscious effort."
Many societies do not have the high traditions of the British in the intellectual sphere and in terms of noble humanitarian policy. Some societies have gone in a different direction, where it is not decency, sharing, and goodwill that prevail, but rather greed and dishonesty - which taken far enough, eventually leads to blatant brutality and policy-driven privation.
In the baser societies, there is a profound and pervasive affect on the culture and on the psyche of the people. And when I say baser societies, I am not referring to technology or economic power. I am referring to those who have collectively (i.e., in the majority) have adopted low ethics and have consequently grounded the society on apathy, arrogance, and unbridled self-interest.
Such values breed irreverence toward others and a hardness of heart that taints those who come in contact with it. Of course not everyone in such a society may choose that path. But in a society where those dynamics forcefully exist, there are those who participate and those who resist - no middle ground.
I accidentally posted a new and separate thread above your thread in the forums area. It is titled "Personal comment." It was meant to be posted as a reply here to your thread, but I pressed the wrong button.
Sorry to hear of your emotionally traumatic encounter. Of course every country has good people and bad. But Russia has had a history of ruthless politics & policies.
While Russia is part of Europe, for centuries the people have been dogged and brutalized. It has always been a little more severe than the rest of Europe (though greater Europe has had its share of political and human rights difficulties).
Anyway, the history of that nation has affected the character of its people. Yesterday I was reading about the high incidence of fatality in the Russian military. Defence Minister Anatoly Serdyukov admitted that non-combat deaths in the military remained high, describing an "unhealthy moral and psychological atmosphere in certain military formations."
I was married to a Russian. She successfully destroyed my bond with our daughter. She just seemed to be switched off to the emotional devastation she was causing and was desensitized to the long-term, adverse effects that will touch her daughter.
Yet even in spite of that catastrophe, I still wanted another slavic woman. There is no doubt they have a special quality. And I did marry another one.
Of course there are moral slavic women in and near Russia. But if you are tempted again to explore the possibilities in Russia, from my experience I can urge you to be aware of the fact that they can be somewhat hardened by the environment.
In spite of everything, I noticed you have kept your sense of humor; and the brilliant British sociability that surrounds you has no doubt helped.
jeffson Forum Posts (38)
RE: A small advice for women :) To help you NOT TO COMPLICATE
Well, I am a lawyer who cares deeply about justice. So I'll let you use your powers of deductive reasoning to decide whether I have ever taken a side.Please just consider this point: I think it is not necessarily helpful to take a side in this discussion. I am even proposing that not taking a side may create a benefit.