Nuliiiiiii Forum Posts (7,367)

RE: spread the love

Hiya Irish and nice to see you

Merlot?

Todger

Stella Awards

It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards." For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico ,
where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was
driving.. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most
outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head and
say WTF

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California , won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over
his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the
garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage
door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when
Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large
bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury
said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.


Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after
she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson
had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.





Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware , sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from
the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms.Walton was trying to sneak
through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her
$12,000 ...... oh, yeah, plus dental expenses


This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma ,
who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on
to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the
Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually
leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her -- are you sitting down?
--- $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.


Are we, as a society, getting more stupid ???

Merlot?

Hi Lady's and Aswina your very welcome <<< for you Beautiful (Merlot of course)

Merlot?

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cosy little restaurant..
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.'.... And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in your pants'.


After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return.. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana .. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches ......... Just send the wine back.'

Lunch

40-year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice arses.

10 years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was good and the wine selection was excellent.

.
10 years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before!!

How to call the police (True Story)? :-)

Hey Tallguy

How to call the police (True Story)? :-)

An elderly man, from Norwich UK, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.



George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.



He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."



George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.



Within five minutes, Six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Hewitson`s' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.



One of the Policemen said to Phillip, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

Phillip said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"






Don't mess with old people

HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.




The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :




Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?




Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.




One student, however, wrote the following:




First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.




Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.




This gives two possibilities:




1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.




2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.




So which is it?




If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "OH MY GOD "

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Be back in while

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

CYaaaa Handsome

RE: pics of Friday nights meet up....

Ohhhhhhhhhh you all looked great and i dont have to ask if you had good time , Thanks for Posting Pics Boom


Let the wind blow high and the wind blow low
Through the streets in my kilt I go
All the lassies cry, "Helloooooooooooooooo!



Donald, where's your trousers?"

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Yep J thanks and i hope u enjoy Jokes hehe
Loved the Jocky 1

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Ohhhhhhhh i will check you Ahemmmmm i ment them out so

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Ohhhhhhhhhh dammittt i missed that then

Ah well

I shall just have to imagin

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

U know what will happen to u young man so STOP that right now

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Got it and hope u enjoyed hehehe

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Ah who would not like you Lar

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Hey how was ur w/end ??

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

I can do that hang on







Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Nope

Wanna Play tiddlewinks Lar??

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Hiya Larry

Opssssssssssss hehehe

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Brillllllllllll Thank you

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Just mailed u

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

All great and mad as hatters

Wouldn't have it any other way

Oh it is so good to see you back on YOUR thread

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Ohhhhhh yes plzzzzzzzz and as for missing anything i got no idea as i use very little now

How is the lil one?

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

All settled J?? >>>>>>>> for your Mantle

RE: Polly Wolly's Bring on the 2011 Coffee Corner.!! Part 11.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii Honey im homeeeeeeeeeeeee

Wollyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Missed ya

RE: Math can be fun as well as useful

1 ,2 buckle my shoe ,

RE: last words