sugar4u Poetry (19)

SO SMALL HE WAS TO DEAL WITH PAIN,

BORN IN AN EMPTY HOME OF SHAME,

NO CHANCE TO LAUGH LIKE CHILDREN DO,

CONFUSED, AND SCARED, WITHOUT A CLUE,

HIS MOM WAS THERE YET FAR AWAY,

THOUGHT NO ONE CARED, ALONE HE PLAYED.

BIG SAD BROWN EYES SILENTLY SCREAMED,

SANG LOUD AND PROUD, MUSIC'S HIS DREAM.

GREW UP REAL FAST,HE HAD NO CHOICE,

RELEASED HIS PAIN WITH SINGING VOICE.

THIS CROSS HE BARED, TO MUCH FOR ONE,

HE'S STRONG NOW GROWN, HE IS MY SON.

Welcome back to life, after feeling dead,

Waking in the light, hung on by a thread,

Learn to live and love, pain aint in the plan,

take a deep breath now, exhale if you can,

Barefoot on the grass, playing in the rain,

Smile upon my face, finally feeling sane.

Dreaming all the time, laughing with just me,

Music playing loud, singing, feeling free,

Life is but a puzzle, There's no time to spare,

I'll take my chance, and finally dance,

Live happy if you dare.

WHERE IS THIS LOVE? I KNOW THAT HE EXIST BUT I CAN'T FIND HIM.
IS HE LIVING ON A BEACH DOWN SOUTH? OR MAYBE ON LONG ISLAND?
CAN I FIND HIM IN A CORN FIELD, OR A FARM IN THE MID WEST?
IS HE FREEZING IN ALASKA? WILL HE BE THE VERY BEST?
DOES HE SMOKE A PACK OR TWO A DAY OR DRINK WHISKEY OR BEER,
IS HE SHORT OR TALL FAT OR BALD, WHO CARES? I WANT HIM NEAR.
DOES HE CARE ABOUT MY OUTLOOK? WILL HE LIKE ME AS I AM?
I KNOW I HAVE TO FIND HIM, TIME IS TICKING, WHAT A JAM!
IS HE LIVING IN OHIO GAZING AT THE MOON AND STARS?
ARE HIS EYES AS BLUE AS DIAMONDS? CAN HE PLAY A MEAN GUITAR?
IS HE SWEET JUST LIKE I WANT HIM? WILL HE SING TO ME AT TIMES?
DOES HE LIKE TO READ, FOLLOW OR LEAD? WRITE POETRY AND RHYMES?
THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT, THE LESS I WANT WAIT,
I GUESS ITS ALL PLANNED OUT FOR ME, THIS LITTLE THING CALLED FATE.
I KNOW THAT HE IS OUT THERE,DRIVING TRUCKS OR TRIMMING TREES.
ONE QUESTION THOUGH, I NEED TO KNOW, DOES MY LOVE LOOK FOR ME?

I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM HOW COULD THIS BE?

THREW A COMPUTER? THAT'S NOT FOR ME.

SOME STRANGER LIVING FAR FROM HERE

HOW WILL I KISS HIS LIPS I FEAR.

OR HOLD HIS HAND, PLEASE UNDERSTAND

THIS ODD ENCOUNTER WAS NOT MY PLAN.

CAN'T GO ON DATES OR FEEL HIS HAIR,

WE CAN'T MAKE LOVE IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.

BUT OH HOW I ENJOY OUR TIME,

WHEN HE CALLS ME MY LIFE IS FINE.

HIS LAUGHTER SOOTHES AWAY MY PAIN,

THIS ONLINE LOVE DRIVES ME INSANE.

I LEARNED TO FEEL FOR HIM THAT WAY

AND REALIZED LOVE COMES NIGHT OR DAY,

THREW PICTURES OR ENDLESS CALLS

LOVE CAN BREAK THREW THE TOUGHEST WALLS,

WITH GOOD LUCK THOUGH HE WILL BE WAITING,

JUST CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT ON LINE DATING.

IT GOES TO SHOW,YOU NEVER KNOW

WHICH WAY THE WINDS OF LOVE WILL BLOW.

Because of You!

Because of you my life has changed,
once I was normal, now I am deranged.
Because of you the hours feel long,
what once was right, is terribly wrong.
Because of you I no longer dance,
I'm awkwardly freakish when given the chance.
Because of you my summers are cold,
cause I'm so imperfect, by you I was told.
Because of you my thoughts are so hateful,
I gave you my all your very ungrateful.
Because of you I feel incomplete,
I hide in my house scared to go to the street.
Because of you I'll probably do time,
my mind is now racing, cause murders a crime.
Because of you my life is ending,
I'm broken inside, and now there's no mending.
Because of you I hate all men,
but you'll pay the price again then again.
Because of you I'm regretful and sad,
that you were my husband, and my children's dad.
Because your you, these words I have spoken,
because I'm me your next to be broken!

Your insults fly across the room, your screaming gets so loud.
Your gestures so predictable, offending me so proud.
My children having nightmares, my dignity is drained,
If i say black, you say white, your driving me insane!
My face familiar with your fist,that once you loved to touch,
It's numb from pain, locked up in chains, my spirit you have crushed,
The tears at home are endless, these walls have much to hide,
These secrets that you make us keep are buried deep inside.
Your children beg and plead with you, a daddy they both need,
A father isn't just for looks or just to make mom bleed.
Respect: A foreign word we've heard, not practiced in our house,
Replaced by shame, and your to blame, but so am I some how.
I mostly fear your silence, it signals me to hide,
You'll find me underneath our bed, got caught you heard me sigh.
Another beating once again, there's danger straight ahead,
You won't be happy till I'm gone and buried, finally dead.
The Place I find most comforting, my pain I can deposit,
Is in my temple where I dwell, with secrets in my closet!

I RECOGNIZE THE WALLS INSIDE,
I RECOGNIZE THEM ALL.
I'VE PACED BETWEEN THEM,
CHASING DEMONS DOWN UNTIL THEY FALL
IN FITFUL SLEEP ENOUGH TO KEEP THERE STRENGTH ENOUGH TO CRAWL,
BACK IN MY HEAD WITH TANGLED THREADS THEY RIDDLE ME TO SOLVE...