Racingjaw Poetry (4)

Many vivid colours and odorous mementos of days gone by as I stumbled upon a patch of wildflowers one evening. And in this patch was one flower in particular which seemed like it was beaming.

A single rose stood out in all it's glory above the rest, it was as if the flowers grew around her to form a nest. It struck me so odd a single rose could compete with such ravenous flora, but I looked a little closer and saw that the flowers bathed in this rose's aura.

Nestled within the rose at closer glance, many forms of life were within every nook and cranny, I couldn't help myself, from changing stance, of what made it so uncanny.

Just when I thought I had the slightest clue, another person approached from out of the blue. This person thought the same thing as me but his intention was not clear, as he picked the rose out from the roots it held so dear.

I returned a week later to find that the flowers were dwindling, these flowers are missing the rose's roots mingling. Their ecosystem shot, their neighbour has been lost, a strong companion reduced to memories of twinkling.

Then it came to me, the sudden shock of loss; empathy I began to feel. Who would have thought a man would shed tears for a flower it seems surreal. But the truth of the matter is that someone took you for granted, and it is too late to acquire a seed to be planted.

The only hope that is left is blind faith which can never be gone, that you can return to your former glory as the rose that shone.

Whilst villains and dictators plot wars fueled by gluttony.
Are you happily safe and secure in your abode?
The time draws closer as I write up this ode.
What will you do when the war hits home abruptly?

Would you do something to improve you and your loved ones survival?
Would you buy the propaganda and take part in the play?
Would you live in despair, yet hope it all goes away?
Would you bide your time to attempt a mass societal revival?

Would you attempt to increase morale by providing hilarity?
Would you go out of your way to help others in need?
Would you capitalise the situation by feeding your greed?
Would you turn against your fellow man yet feign solidarity?

We are taught to spread love but it seems the other way around.
Perhaps you may think "This talk of war sounds so strange."
If one thing is for certain, it is certainly change.
What will you do when the air raid sirens sound?

No one can see inside of me, no matter how hard I try.
My intention is seemingly never clear toward the naked eye.
For only I know for sure, what I truly feel inside.
Yet words and emotions cannot express the reason why I hide.

"I understand. I can relate. I can get the blues too.
But I cannot seem to fathom why you act the way you do."

I can only speak in metaphors as these feelings are otherworldly.
It's like my soul is locked up for the duration of my longevity.
The moments that may seem awkward are when my soul wriggles free.
Attempting to make up for time lost to express many facets of me.

"I can see the problem yet the solution is clear.
Just let your soul free! There's nothing to fear."

Fear is not even half of it, there's more to it than this.
If I were to just let go, there would be a sense of remiss.
No matter what I do to help myself, it seems it's never enough.
To try and make sense of darkness can be considered quite tough.

"You can't be serious! I don't understand, it's boggling to my mind.
It's as if you don't want the help and would rather stay confined."

No one can see inside of me, no matter how hard I try.
My intention is seemingly never clear toward the naked eye.
For only I know for sure, what I truly feel inside.
Yet words and emotions cannot express the reason why I hide.

I don't know why but I feel so disconnected today.
My thoughts and feelings of happiness are blunted and led astray.
I know I can feel happy, live, laugh and dance.
But these feelings disappear when control is in my glance.
It's like I can't trust myself in recreating the joy I once knew.
I have sentenced myself to life imprisonment for the crimes of "being you."
No judge, no jury, no plaintiff, no defence.
Just an automatic sentencing without hearing or sense.
This what it's like to live inside someone who is depressed as me.
Locked up inside yet I am still holding the key...