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Why Women Dislike Nice Guys

Reasons why desperate well meaning men fail to score with women

A look of constant sadness on their faces

These guys are unable to converse with others easily one on one or in a group setting. The look of failure, abandonment, and isolation is written all over them.

Little Ambition For Success In Life

Remember this quote: "I started at the bottom"; "Liked it"; "So I stayed there". Some men get stuck on the lowest rung of the ladder.

Treating Women Always As The Weaker Sex

Opening a door or pulling out a chair for a lady who retaliates with contempt that the thought exists that she is helpless in the mind of her date.

Always trying To Bribe Their Way Into a Women's Heart

Gift giving for no apparent reason at all. Money always seems to be the solution for personality failures plus a lack of confidence.

Mother Comes First Before A Girlfriend

Once a mama's boy; always a mama's boy. Time management becomes a problem when the well meaning romantic gets stuck between two opposing forces.

Boring Conversation Puts Women To Sleep

Biggest mistake on a first date; telling your entire life's story in 35 minutes or less. Relating your past failures doesn't inspire anyone.

Social Activities Are Always At A Low Predictable Level

Women are always looking for an UPGRADE concerning social activities. Catching the "Been there"; "Done that" Disease early in a relationship spells SEPARATION.

Women Are Given Very Little Breathing Space

Women have lives of their own. When a new guy shows up and is in constant contact for conversation and date creation; a woman is ready to stand up and scream.

Threatening Personal Harm When A Woman Says Goodbye

Many men don't possess emotional muscle. It kills them inside when a girl says its over. Everyone doesn't possess the fortitude to say "Women are like buses" "Another one should be coming down the road here sooner or later".

Having A Big List Of Excuses For Romantic Failures

Men are quick to blame women for their own failures. Men sometimes need improvement in several areas before dating success will come their way.

Desperate men have to be rescued along with those suffering from drug use, alcohol abuse, and mental illness.

Comments (48)

There is some truth to what he said but the fact is, it's easy to be bad but so much harder to be a nice person, in this era women doesn't look for nice guys( they may say they do), but they run in opposite directions they fall for those who are charming, have a loudmouth, big cars a complete showoff, women fall for these types and they don't even think, even if he's in shady business, flashy guys who will use them and dump them and what women do? oh they cry and looking for pity and the next thing is they went and did it again, falling for another dirtbag, women say they need some adventure, danger, excitement, just like in the movies, but life is not like in the movies trust me we have seen this picture a million times over, so no wonder nice guys are left behind.
Nice guys? Why it's because they finish last, every night.
for women-i am a psychiatrist-i say find a black male for guys i sat try to find a transsexual, welcome to the new normal in a bankrupt country. monogamy is dead, religion is dying and psychiatrist inafunk
for women-i am a psychiatrist-i say find a black male for guys i sat try to find a transsexual, welcome to the new normal in a bankrupt country. monogamy is dead, religion is dying and psychiatrist inafunk
Not everything on the list is a negative ....i can think of far worse attributes the over confident buisness type with cash but no class .....who thinks his big car big mouth bulging wallet makes up for real qualities like caring honesty morality intelligence perseverance affection the attributes that really matter .....
Bad guys don't get down and depressed they get mean and want to fight but I just tell myself l don't want you if you like someone else better go to him and let me go find who likes me for who I am. A nice guy can be confident in himself too but the crazy thing is they might want you back if you show you don't care but too late. angel
It's unfortunate but true that humans act like animals when it comes to sex.
It's unfortunate but true that humans act like animals when it comes to sex.
I'm a nice guy but I got to a point where I could care less and not desperate.
Its the law of nature a documentary on any pack animal..... the dominant male gets to mate with the female . Transfer that to humans and it's pretty much similar .it's why rich successful men get to have beautiful woman on their arm .all men hanker after perfect modelesque woman all women hanker after men who are strong and successful protective there are exceptions always .we dress it up this way or that but we're basically just a pack of human animals though moire like ants sometimes . Only thing is packs of wolves or ant colonies work well .....we don't seem to do that . Men want women to mate with other than that they prefer male company where they can swagger boast impress each other......women are just women wise to it all ....aren't we just pathetic really ? .roll eyes
I would never go for bad boys they are immature and a waste of time. Nice guys with a strong amazing personality, attractive and independent is a keeper any day. I don't know any woman interested in a bad boy. thumbs down
I have a problem with you calling "well meaning men" desperate. Sometimes being nice is who they are and is not a ploy to get women interested. You have to wonder what kind of person would make that kind of comment.
Well, the issue is quite simple really, the reason most women don`t like "nice guys" is that they are not very attractive,boring and not exciting,,,,bad boys are so much fun to be with...isn`t it so girls?
Sound like you're describing yourself and your own failings more than anything else
This is a despicable list of fatal character flaws, NONE of which describes a "nice" guy in my opinion.

Indeed, I am a believer that women are less excited by a "nice" guy than they are with a "hot" guy. That's because passion usually wins-out over dependability. And excitement often wins over honesty. Many women are seemingly attracted to the "bad boy" type because those men get the adrenaline going for the lady. And of course, that may lead to high divorce rates and cases of abuse.

The difficulty in finding the right balance between being "nice" and being "hot" is what keeps the dating sites raking-in the money year after year.
I like what Telestar99 said. I agree with him

desperate gets you nowhere - being yourself is who you are supposed to be, no-one else and dont even try. :)
Hi Hankharlow,

Really nice article that hits the mark on many points.... For me, I have come across the embodiment of no.1 and 10.... Even I know that with my own past failed relationships, I have played a role in its demise.... either through inaction or too much of an otherwise good quality in me....
I don't want a woman who is 'nice' ... I want a woman who encompasses a full spectrum of qualities ... some nice and some naughty.
I get irritated when women describe me as 'nice' ... it comes across as an insult.
Bad versus Good...well, does Bad always hurt and Good mean boring? Once again...we are all so different, definition of terms can get in way of conclusion.

Let's just say...if it makes you can't be all bad!angel
The work of demons is to make us think lowly of ourselves...bad can never overtake good even in the men department. The 10 commandments is considered backdated or irrelevant in todays society.

I m a mama boy,only a lady would understand the mold he becomes from the tender care of his mother..he listens to his partner.

So there is hope...goodness always pervails.
Its a well written but simplistic and unrealisticlly negative understanding of human nature in my view. It seems to be coming from the American "pick up artist" school of thought of "treat them mean to keep them keen". The womens self help dating industry have a book called "The Rules" which lays out exactly the same approach from the other end. My own reaction when I heard the kind of manipulative and assertive tips (in my opinion) that women were being given in "The Rules" was that I would really hate to meet women under those conditions. I feel sure that most women would respond equally that the last thing they really want is a selfish and inconsiderate male as a partner. So if giving and softness and generosity is such a weakness I don't know what we are doing looking for anyone to share anything with. While occasionally it may be taken advantage of and we usually remember these bad experiences the best, in the main people are pretty reasonable and respond positively to a decent person in a romantic way or in any other setting in life.
That list does not sound like any iof the nice guys I have ever met! Most of them are very successful, seemingly confident, and have no.problem getting a woman. Keeping a woman is sometimes the problem. And I LOVE nice men! Its just that most of them are not attractive. They have to be nice to make up for their looks. And while some ppl try to get over this (becuz they are nice), in the end they just can no longer deal.with being in a relationship with sum1 they have no attraction to. No attraction typically equals bad sex life... this is just my opinion...
Have you stoped & thought that these are the ways only you think !
How could you be so sure?
yr not even a woman !

Yr comments are in most ways baseless.
Dont ever try to fathom the meaning of love !
Be adviced to simply live it thru.
Everybody have a right to say something, but unfortunately we as men will never know how the female sex brains work, cause as it is, they really have an amazing intelligent mind..."FIVE REALLY GOOD WOMEN CAN START A WORLD WAR" if any of you understand it the saying... I adore nice women... Bad boy or nice guy we all find our soul mate...So bad boys keep doing what you do and nice guys keep doing what you do...Over and out..professor
the last comment was so funny and erudite that I
take my hat off to you. Yes that was a depressing run
down of my own potential car wreck attempts to date women.
This site is actually a fair deal and free but dating online
is so fraught with disingenuous bullshit that it's a miracle anyone laid at all. This world is so F**ked up it actually makes me laugh. Date at your peril. It's basically a bunch of bullshit and will leave you more hungry for life than a year in a NWO concentration camp. Good Luck!
some women want nice guys, most don't though I guess
All women say they want a nice guy but settle for the alpha male a**-hole types.They'remore exciting and dangerous,where nice guys are gentlemen,polite,predictab; and boring to them.Make up your mind ladies,you can't have it both ways.In most cases nice guys only want to date nice/sweet ladies.
Please reserve one nice guy for me. And I am a good woman!blushing
i doubt if the word nice fits into ur descriptions. But women dont go for nice guys anyways.
thats coz they like bad boys frustrated
Well i can agree with most of the things you have said but unfortunately for me , i am 1 of those people who are too nice for my own good , others might see this as weakness but i'm quiet happy being this way , if all women want is a bad boy that they can try & change then they have rocks in their head , your supposed to accept people for who they are not what you can try & change them into , this goes for women & men alike.
I'll take the opposite view, but do any women agree?

Why Women Desire Bad Guys

You have to be kidding. NICE is being used as a misfit of society, and that just isn't the case.
I dissagree. I love nice men.
superb article hank,well done!
Very accurate!
Nice job.rolling on the floor laughing
There is some nice guy who have lost their mother and still, woman don't like them. The issue is this, because of the very s*xual sin we have committed, no one have that eyes to see his/her true partner. In terms of relationship everybody is receiving his/her due pay. Be wise and fight your demons.
Lot of truth in what you have written there...

I can honestly see at least five that apply to me, though id never resort to self-harming...
There is as one other poster noted a thing for the "bad boy appeal", something i'll never get i suppose...
But im supprised about your pov on what i would call common courtesy, opening doors, doing that thing with the chair for your date/partner/wife in a restaurants, giving up your seat for a lady on the bus....
I guess im still old enough to remember when these were the given qualities of a gentleman....Crikey, now im sounding as old as i feel!...

All the best...

I recently had a spell of doubt, as a lot of you seem to have also.
I must advise of the importance of perserverance.
I thought that my niceties were being ignored, until i found out that the girl simply thought i was too nice to be true.
In my experience, if you are truly a nice guy, she will see over time that you do the chivalrous things out of decency and not because you think she's the weaker sex.
There is no point being a gentleman o dates and an average man in between.
If you are the real good guy you say you are, the evidence will be there, and a good woman will appreciate that.
Please don't lose the faith guys, we're not all bad,
Your list contains the most helpful and intelligent statements I have seen on the "Forums".

Predictably, you will not be thanked (by either sex) for telling the truth. The level of self denial that some people maintain is incredible. They would do well to accept the reality and get on with it.

Wise words and thanks for posting them.
Hi hankharlow,

I must say the list you created is fun to read, but i have my reservations about the title...Why women dislike nice guys… I mean the guys who possess these super freaky 10 most unfortunate symptoms…are they suppose to be called nice guys….

I mean psychologically we the Men somewhere in our heart believe that we too are nice guys…and after reading your well researched points, may be we all do look into the mirror and ask ourselves AM I THE ONE ?

I can agree or disagree with you on every point… I mean you cannot have a look of constant sadness when you are sitting or conversing with some one you really like. Giving respect and treating someone as weaker sex are entirely two different things. Boring conversations, gift giving behavior and rest of the things also can be discussed in both extreams.

So maybe it has some thing to do with “Why men dislike nice Girls”

PS. It was all for the sake of fun…I would not like to challenge you since you have 4 big size books with your name on them…and the only thing I have with my name on is my visiting card.

Nice guys are boring and easy to get with no drama. Woman like drama, excitment, and like to try change a man. You cant change a bad guy, as he is a master at sleeping with lots of woman. Woman think that she will be the special one to change him, but she wont.
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