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Okay, the stray cats are gone, sooo

This is a gross story about cats, so to all cat lovers, DO NOT READ!...I think this is important, but your views may differ, I'm very sorry if it offends you, but you are warned, for the second time, so do not read on and exit now all cat lover.

Okay, when I young, there were hundreds of stray cats roaming the streets at night and the ones you couldn't see, you could hear, screaming to the night...back then I had no idea what they were doing, but of course, I know now...laugh

Anyway, heres my theory to what happened to them all, way back then there was not many takeaway shops around, but as I grew older, more and more of these shops began to appear and coincidentally??? the cats began to disappear...

My theory is reinforced by a news story that appeared many years ago, here in Nz, that a takeaway shop has been busted with, would you believe it, skinned cats, that were found hanging in their chiller...barf

Now I'm not going to mention the nationally of these shop owners, but can say, they will eat almost anything.

So if your at your favorite takeaway shop, pay close attention to the bone structure of your meal, I mean, know what you eat...like chicken ribs look very similar to those of a cat. Like with all those sauces in there, you can't really tell what the hell it is, unless your've studied the bone structure of a chicken... uh oh
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R.I.P The Net (aka, The Internet!)

Well its not really gonna rest in peace, its departure, in fact, is gonna cause world wide chaos, on a major scale. The giant will fall from grace oneday and theres not much anyone can do, but pray, and I'm sorry to say, but not even that will save it from its demise.

So how is the Internet going to die? Well...like many predictions for todays times, this one also is comming straight outa thy arse...it works the same way a volcanist goes about keeping his job, he will say shit like "Oh, yes, I can guarantee the big one is going to happen in excatly 100 years", he say this, full knowing he will be dead before he gets to see his own prediction. I know, he's clever, aint he...lol

However, the death of the Internet might hold some merits, if you can understand this. Now lets see if I can put this in the simplist way possible (no technical jargon), so everyone can understand...

...The first computer was made around the 1950's and the true sence of the internet as we know it today, was'nt born until the mid 1990 somewhere and as you know we are now in 2013, not a great time line, is it. Now the internet was originally made JUST for computer to computer communication, and those computers, now number in the billions? (well, its heaps, anyway..lol). What I don't think they thought about was all the cell phones, fridges, vacuumes etc, etc, that have now become Internet users, thats another billion and billions of users. Was the net made to take that kind of pressure, I don't think so, the best they can do for now is use fibre optic cables, and what after that?...I think BANG, like everything else man-made, nothing lasts forever. The only question left now, is not how, but when?

and for those of you who fell asleep during the reading of this blog...WAKE UP and smell the flowers...the Internet is dying...DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS...YES, NO MORE CS...frustrated laugh

wave
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Everybody has a bad hairday...now and again

Now I know, most men here on Cs, feel like a women. So allow me to show you the easy way to achieve this goal.
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Oh this is going to hurt me chances, is-in-it...laugh
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Coffee, tea, anyone?...

Oh wow, there's no milk ....or sugar, and buggar, there's no coffee ....or tea bags either. Okaaay, lets start this again.

...Anyone for hot or cold water then, maybe some dry cornflakes?..uh oh

Oh, I wonder what my visitors are going to talk about, on their way home...

...The poor things...laugh
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Submit Women!!!...You ARE my New WIFE!!

Women of my dreams, You are getting sleepy....Yes you Are, and when you wake, you will instintly fall in love with me and we will both, try (at-least), to understand one another...ok...3, 2, 1, wake..... teddybear



Okay...uh oh
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Stone cold, knockout

Finally, I'm in good pastures, I can tell because my stomach has its blinkers on and its overtaking my pants...I'm on the road to the land of milk and honeys...

Now I have a keg of steel, instead of a six pack...yay...laugh

As long as I don't lose sight of my feet or worster still my...ahem, manhood, she'll be right.

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I've decided to be a white man

So how does the new look strike you?. I also have many brothers and sisters on here too, ..,The almightys mistake was making everyone different, if everyone was the same, there would be no more race wars, no more beautiful and ugly and no stardards...tongue

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Man O Man...

The backyards alive with birds again since the cat died. Oh well, how sad, what a pity and life rolls on..sigh

Like almost everyone else in this country of ours (maybe the world), I'm trying to keep costs down. I'm buying cheaper beer and can hardly remember the last time I took myself out for lunch.

But you can only cut back so much before life becomes hardly worth living... uncertain

Well, thats what I'll be telling my future wife...
...Whom I pray like hell, will be the finanicial controller of my life....

If my present state of affairs carry on like it is, it won't be long and I'll be at the local supermarket in my jockeys, looking for bargins, after the almighty christmas splurge.

Personly standards must be maintained and, interestingly enough, I see that it costs a lot less to maintain the average man than it does, the average women...uh oh

Women pay MORE for haircuts, dry-cleaning, deodorents AND even ladys razors cost more than mens ones. Adventureous women might want to give mans razor and deodorants a go if it mean saving a few bucks.
Well things haven't got that tight YET, although I do remain semi-employed.

I guess the next step for me is to get used to the fact that my women might earn more than me, the macho types might have trouble coping with that, but I won't. Well, I hope not.

Anyway, it's the way the world's going, women are taking over the old male roles - like being the bread winners and dear I say, bosses. This is causing men to wonder how long men will be necessary.

I read on the net that there is enough frozen sperm to keep the human race going for quite some time, which by the way, is a very chilling thought..lol

It certainly has me making more of an effort in the mailbox.. laugh
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What-e-v-e-r

According to some poll out there 'whatever' is the most anoying word in the world...yeah, 'like' whatever...'I'm just saying' ok.

'like' 'seriously', 'connect the dots' and 'read my lips', 'I c-o-u-l-d-n't c-a-r-e l-e-s-s' 'it's so, like, yesterday news'.

One that gets my goat going is 'religously speaking'...laugh

Now I know you women got a whole lot of these anoying catch frazers, oh yes you have, you store them away somewhere for a very special day, don't you, so do share...tongue laugh

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X-tremely backwards world

The world all went wrong when they began to wear shoes, in the begining, it took the people off the surface of the earth by about 2mm. They could still feel the earth then, as their shoes were very thin, like the shoes then were made out of animal skins, but, they looked after the earth back then.

Nowdays we are taking anywhere from 1 to 6cm off the planet and can't feel a thing beneath our feet. Most of us, have lost touch completely with the earths affairs.

So throw away your shoes for the day and walk the earth barefoot, just as first man and women did...maybe you'll feel, and definitely see the pollution beneath your feet.

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Ramming it home

I know I'm a black sheep compared to my surroundings, I see things differently and act apon them as I see fit. Like new years, every adult was drinking, while the kids were running around like wild animals, doing what they do. Like the adults were watching out for them and all, but the kids didn't have much to do, except climb a fence and scratch some cars with stones that were in the carpark, oh and hit one another with sticks.

I happened to have a fairytale book in my car, so I found a nice quiet place and sat down and struggled to read it, lucky I sort of remembered the plot, and one by one they came, sat down and listened to the load of hog wash I was half reading and half making up. I really got into it, trying to change voices for each character and used all sorts of expression and moods to keep them occupied. I felt like a dork, but F it, they enjoyed it..laugh

Give it about another thirty years or so and the art of reading books to children will be dead...to much technolgy around, you see...



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Like a Moth to a Flame

O my, an old flame returns from out of the blues, wanting to reinact the past, so I do and get burnt for the second time...

How many times have I been told "don't play with fire or you will get burnt", Oh, I've only heard it about a thousand times, like whats one more time..

...and God, let me assure you, true love is, mighty, mighty hard to find, these days.

Oh wow, whats that light at the end of the tunnel, its flames I tell you, both old and new flames...laugh

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