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Happy Bloggins/Blog yer heart out people

Computer back up againgrin

Wow, I really missed my bloggins. I have been off work last night and tonight and I must say I got a lot done without the computer being on. lol.

No one will ever know how it is to get one's feelings out unless they blog.

Unless you blog or journal at home, you don't have the opportunity of weighing pros and cons of situations, or having hindsight as a way of making choices.

Blogging helps you VENT without burdening a loved one with your problems.

A blog is also a way to share creative ideas, drawings, photos and poetry.

For me, a blog is also being totally candid or frank with people about private issues because, well, I might never see anyone on here in real life, so I don't fear gossip, judgement or other junk you might get in the forums.

If you're negative comment bothers me: I just delete you, MUAHHAHAHAHAHAdevil

but in all seriousness, the forums are a jungle.
A blog is your own. YOU OWN IT.
No one can take away or belittle you for your personal thoughts.

People online however CAN and DO enrich your life by reading and replying to your blog, offering encouragement.

Your blog can add to their lives and unknowingly, you can help solve a problem of theirs with words of yours. i am grateful to everyone who ever offered a kind word to me through my blog or through my sweetiemail.

Wuv yousmitten

Here's to the blog.wine
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B HAPPY 4 ME

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone before I take my self off the available list.

You see, I had been separated from my husband for almost 2 years and he came to visiit us last night on his military/holday leave.

We were supposed to finalize divorce papers.
We'd all but given up on our marriage.

Today we are a whole couple AGAIN giving our love and lives another shot.

I am ecstatic, scared, jubilant, nervous and really happy. All at once.

I just wanted to thank all of everyone who laughed with me, hugged me cried with me, supported me, and read my silly blogs.

I can't help but wonder what would've happened had i met some of you. Maybe i would've grown close enough to start relationships, who knows??

But one thing I do know. I have enjoyed every bit of every blog and message I have read on here and everyone i have "virtually met"

I may stick around just to blog for awhile.

laugh

wuv, lots xoxoxo Renee
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Sleeping Beauty (er,,,,sleeping sweetie)

wow trying to keep my eyes open sooooo tiredyawn This shift is kicking my booty.

I overslept this morning and baby "A" didn't make it to school. I felt so baaad . geez. That's the first time THAT happened.

It's not work that is so tiring. It's LIFE. I cannot seem to fit anything in besides sleep and chores and work.

There's so much I used to love doing before i started in October at this job.

I crochet some really cute stuff. I 've made blankets for family, babies etc and just give them away.

I read a LOT.

I watch TV

I swim

I cook

all these things had been put on a hold because of work and sleep and yet, if I had a day job, i'd be miserable.

with this job, i can be home with my kids when they need me the most, in their waking hours.

trying to change jobs is almost too much to ask right now.

there's certain things high on the list of Stressors and i have more than a few of them in the past 5 months.

1) new job
2)moving
3)graduating school
4)divorce
5)holidays

so when do I realize my body is rebelling?
When I sleep and can't wake up.
When I get sick
When I can't seem interested in old hobbies/interests
When I don't have the appetite I had
When I can't focus on tasks at hand.

For now, LIFE is a stressor, but I'm hoping to figure it all out soon.
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Sweetie's Sick/You didn't think it was real did ya

No, yesterday's blog wasn't real...I wish. that is why I posted. OMG, just my idea of comfort from a stand point of a female.

Yesterday,was far less exciting. went to the doctor. had a kidney infection. Got major antibiotics which made my stomach sick too.

Went to my store to fill the prescription. Gave my boss the doctor's note and while I am waiting for the meds, he calls my name on the intercom.

I already know what he wants. He wants me to work sickkkkk. uggh.

I get up there to see him. He's such a dummy he dances around the issue. He asks me if this doctor's excuse is for today?
duhhh.

He knows it's illegal for him to come out and ask me to work after handing him a doctor's note. so he beats around the bush.

You have tommorrow and the next night off, he says. (yeah...AND?) I want to say.

I'm not going to be any good tonight I tell him.

"all you have to do is stand up there and smile" he says, talking about checking out customers.

I already know this to be BS. If this were true, what would he even need me for ?

I tell him I would be there. He pats my back. Thankyou he says.

I already know when I go home and take the medicine it's going to make me feel worse. That is how heavy the antibiotics are.

Sure enough, I get sicker.

I end up calling in anyway. What a stupid work place. It's not my fault they have only enough people hired to hang themselves if someone calls in. Aggghhh!

***************

I will post again later with something better, just wanted to get this off my chest.
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And she finds herself looking up at him

into his eyes, conveying more than a few messages all at once, all of them equally passionate.

He'd kissed the top of her head, and she could feel herself being wrapped up in strong arms, snuggling her face into his favorite old sweatshirt.

she felt safe there.

There, a hundred work problems melted away.
and there, the beginning of a long hour of him making her forget
that she wasn't so strong as she told the world

An hour of him kissiing her, and transporting her to another place where he was skilled at getting her to make those faces that she made in utter passion. Skilled at getting her to make those satisfied sounds.

another hour of lying in his arms, falling blissfully asleep.

(does anyone else want this as much as I do?)kiss
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You and I have a LOT to do!!!!

Oh...
I feel like I've been locked up tight
For a century of lonely nights
Waiting for someone
To release me~~Lyrics GENIE IN A BOTTLE/CHRISTINA AGUILERA


So without sounding so strange and out of place and too forward. Let's go play local "Knight in shining armor" Hero, gentleman, friend.

Let's go dancing. Let's go people watching. Let's catch a funny movie, let's go bowling, let's drink until tipsy, let's go to a concert, the casino,walk around the mall and have desert.

Lets sit beside the ocean huddled in a blanket made for two. lets go climbing. let's bikeride and take photos of cool stuff. Let's try each other's favorite foods.

Let's hold hands by the duckpond and feed them cheerios and bread. Let's go to a festival, or high school sports game. How bout you teach me to snowboard or ski?

Let's get together with each other's buds and sing karoake. Let's rent a dvd and roll up in a blanket on the couch like 2 hot dogs in a bun. Let's kiss until we miss all the good parts and have to rent the movie again later....

Let's make more plans to be together soooooon. C'mon men. Not all women say no. Not all women have issues. Not all women are bitches...No not all. Not me.

Com' on men of Temecula, San Diego, Vista, Riverside, Elsinore, Murrietta,WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING, AND HOW DO I GET THERE TOO???

Love SweetieG.
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Sweetie VS. the rain/ I (heart) Brothers!

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It was Sweetiegirlz vs. the rain yesterday and the rain WON. As I walked my little 9 y/o "A"around raging puddles and mini rivers of water,my pants were soaked instantly.
"A" took a peek at the drainage channel which was raging with a torrential stream of muddy run off. Typical child like "A" ran from puddle to puddle. "WhOA!!" she laughs
The fake fur trim on her coat is soaked.

After, I walk her to school. I tramp home. water squishing through my sneakers. For the first time in a long time, I cry because I haven't had a car for a couple of years.

I cry and cry and cry. My kidney infection is hurting at this point. I can't go grocery shopping in the rain. I'm cranky. The rain swallows my tears.

Then.....

My Brother called me yesterday. That in of itself is unusual . Jeff calls when something big is up. Usually I do the calling and call his wife, who I adore and we talk forever.

Jeff called. He had heard I was sick and having a bad day otherwise.

Surprisingly, once I told him my problems, Jeff pulled a 180 on me. He wasn't on the phone to patty cake with me. He was on the phone to pull me out of the muck so to speak.

He got me talking about my future and continuing school. He got my mind off my problem at hand.

He knew I was upset about graduating vocational school with High Honors only to have to work in a store at night because of lack of a car.

He asked me what step was next after Medical assisting school.
I told him nursing school.

He told me "what do you need to do to make that happen?"

I told him.

Well, he says, you need to plan to make it happen, or it's going to happen without you....

WOW....

When I got off the phone, essentially I was more focused on the answers now instead of the problem.

I love brothers.
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What I like about you/10 things to BE AWARE OF

You are not judgemental
You are very affectionate without expecting too much from me (but I give it anyway, cuz I'm like that)
You calllll me. and ask about me. because you care
You smell soooo good.
You don't try to juggle women
You humor me even when it's clear I am wrong
You are there for me
You take me to the ocean when I'm down.
You treat me like a princess without thinking that I need money, gifts or my bills paid. (because I don't need that from you, what I need is YOU)


*
*****************************************************
Girls (and guys) beware:
Beware the "time slot"~Never see him on weekends? Only on certain days not related to his job? 3rd and down! Flag on the play.

2)Beware him calling you only at work or in his car on the way to "somewhere" then, "Okay, I'm home now and I'm pretty tired sooo... " then he/she gets off the phone with you. For WHAT?

iF THEY WERE REALLY LIKING YOU THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN.

3)Beware the lies, even the eeeeensy little white discrepancies.
"I don't smoke" "I don't drink" he says. He shows up smelling (or lips tasting) of one or both.

4)Beware the "no paper trail" Pays for dinner etc with cash....all the time.

5)Beware the child's toys, toddler seat, etc in the vehicle.

6)Beware the times you never visit his /her house.

7)Beware the late night booty calls

8) Beware the relationship that's solely s*xual

9)Beware conversations that don't ever seem interested or focused on you at all

10)Beware the hide and seek relationship~had a date, "hey haven't heard from you in awhile" then date again, 3 weeks later, "hey watcha been up to? I mean really.
******************************************************

ell, I am up a tad early since 3:30 am of all things cleaning my stove. Women have this kind of built in emergency button...we don't care HOW sick we get, we can only let our house get so dirty before we clean it!

I know it's stupid but when they come and step over my sick body to take me to the hospital, they will say, "WOW, look how clean that girl's stove is!"

Anywayz, feeling a tad better but still crazy dizzy. the plan was to get up early, clean the house, do the grocery thing and take it easy the rest of the day.Because I have to work tonight.

Well, got as far as dishes and stove.
Last night I had that same burst of energy and I made homemade macaroni and cheese, and a pumpkin pie. then I zonked out for the night.

Sleep is now taking over again. so before my ll year old "A" wakes up for school, I must get some zzzz's.
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Undressed

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The entity of "alone" laughs at the downward spiral of the heart.

It must, how else can anyone explain that I stand before Lord knows how many people completely and emotionally undressed today. It is the only way I know how to cope with crap.

Yes, this morning I woke up a tad overwhelmed. It seems as though this kidney infection is kicking my butt and comes at the same time as "you know what" the ladies will know. It sucks.It really hurts to move right now.


Yes, men all know how to cope.

They go to the garage,drink a beer and mindlessly watch football.
(I need to try this)

But beyond the fact that I am on a dating site, and realize now that I have only had one "date" from here. I will continue to blog and try (when I am feeling better) to inspire.

Next week, the girl's dad comes to visit them for 10 days. While he is here, we will be going to the courthouse to finalize divorce papers. He chose to come here for 10 days to see his girls and for Christmas he "chose" to go to the Philipines and meet his mistress for 2 weeks.

It hurts as much as my kidney infection.

The girls are too young to understand. I will never tell them. They look up to him so much. They haven't seen him for two years.

In another 5 months, I will be at another crossroads. Another decisiion.

I will be free of him.
My lease will be up.
I will be free to move.
ANYWHERE I desire.
It seems California is not working out for me.
Time to throw another dart.

For the men who read this blog and say "omg she's got way too much baggage"

It's NOt that I have baggage and no one else does.
It's that I choose to put mine out on the curb, because I don't want to keep it anymore.
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What "Egg-zactly" are these boozers good for???

What a crazy night as usual. Everything people tell you about the full moon making people act weird, believe it!!

I for one cannot stand the fact that our pharmacy sells liquor, and stays open all night too. aaaagh! It apparently brings out all the steaming mad customers that rage on when they are denied alcohol for lack of ID.

Then, customers leave or are escorted from the store.

2 hours later we got eggs thrown into our store by some brain dead, obviously ignorant azzzz's. I'm saying cleaning egg up off of carpet, windows, merchandise, doors, wasn't really fun, eh?

Off to sleep it off, Sweetie
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Baby Jesus Politically incorrect Now

conversing I go over almost every inch of the store on the nights I'm working.

I face and straighten the products on the shelves. I stock. I put items on sale. I vacuum almost the whole store every night.

I also shop there, and I still didn't notice this until this morning. Not one ornament.
Not one decoration
Not one picture, wrapping paper, or card with the Nativity or Baby Jesus associated with Christmas.

Oh... there are angels, but not many.

Puzzled I approached the morning supervisor about this rather upsetting revelation.

She tells me that the store no longer carries baby Jesus or nativity things at Christmas.

Eh????

It is politically incorrect , she goes on to say.

Come again????

Because some people don't believe in God and Baby Jesus and all that, she explains.


very mad Just to set the record straight.

A long time ago, in Bethlehem, Santa Claus came down with 8 tiny reindeer and entered this world as a Savior with his bag of toys.

uhhhh yeah ..... right.

I LOVE YOU JESUS, AND I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU, OR CELEBRATNG YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!
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YEP, Just had to Blog about it! Giving Thanks !

A contented smile on Thanksgiving day. Sup#1 opened up her home and her family and her world for us.

(YES )the same woman that used to call me "crackhead" and "b*tch" unceremoniously after meeting me at work. Kinda like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie called each other "b*tch" on the show the"Simple Life" lol.
I think in life, we find out that a lot of folks do something called "posturing" when they first meet. They cover up who they truly are until they decide if they want to get to know you more.

Well, she invited us to her place for Thanksgiving. Our girlz got along instantly being not quite the same age. Her hubby recently back from Iraq.

Within the first minute her 4 year old runs up and hugs me tight around my legs. awwww. kids are so sweeeet. She has a white doggie that my kids are loving on.

She has an awesome family. beautiful. Her place? Prolly could fit 5 of my small apartments in her house,(that is no small house) and it's decorated to the T. She goes out of her way to make us feel at home.

Meal still a cookin' I settle in and help her peel potatoes and make ready. She went out of her way earlier in the day to ask if we wanted anything at the table that she hadn't named already. She actually ran out and got stuff to make macaroni and cheese and had her daughter make it from scratch. (my nine y/o is sooo picky, and I already knew what she'd like to eat)

The football game is on. The kids are playing. We're laughing, taking pictures. she is making me taste test each dish as it gets done.

I make gravy for the meal from the turkey fat.It's a 20 POUND turkey. wowww.

By night's end I am taking home bizillions of leftovers. I can be so Thankful for this. It's a mega blessing for me. Every year God sends someone to take the place of my immediate family on the Holidays.(they are far away, and even they don't really make us feel as welcome as this family did! (amazing)


Last year, I cooked for 6 people. So I guess it is true, your good gifts to others really do come back to you, eh?.


~hope yours was awesome too


thumbs up
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