"I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got"~~From "Soak Up The Sun" ~~Sheryl Crow
Amid all the "glamour" of my 10 dollar an hour job
When I close my eyes to the perfect silence of my needs and the needs of my children met.
worship my God freely and without fear!
When I can turn on my TV and get the shows I paid for
Turn on the water and take a hot shower
Smile with the 1400 dollar porceline veneers I paid for
Eat the food I bought with food stamps that I walked 4 miles to apply for
Open the door to a cozy apartment that didn't burn down in the fires
hug my kids who are all healthy
Go to sleep in my 1300 dollar 4 poster bed
Laugh with my co workers over a dumb joke
converse on connecting singles with friends from around the globe
Everything is all good to me.... Yes every thing is satisfactory.......
Life is still a pretty good journey.
Though it may seem like the California fires have taken over my neighborhood, this picture I took at 6:30 this morning is actually a beautiful sunrise!!!!!
Thanks to all who prayed for the fires situation here in California.
Truly, God paints the canvas of his Earth as a blessing to anyone who will see it.
~~Love ya, Sweetie
YA, sometimes I wish i could have one of these to use!
Sunday morning should be lazy morning in bed in a sea of blankets, curled up with someone special, kissing, kissing and and and and.....
It should be brunch at a pancake house, and a slow walk around the park, or block hand in hand.
It should be laughter with the kids, playing kickball and taking pictures.
It should be football and snacks and a barbeque with friends sipping wine and goofing off during commercials
It should be a movie rental with family, or eveining service at church thanking God for all these blessings.
What it is for me is busy. Tiring. a worknight. No one to hold on to. No one to hug and tell "I love you" who is over 4 feet tall. LOL
I mean I love "A" & "A"
But Sunday has rolled around again
Here am I
But here "he"
is not.
whoever that may be.
Smoke thick with ashes in the air today, the last two hours.
The kids are off of school. I need to find out if we're going to be evacuated like thousands of others.
It's weird because the wind is not even blowing a bit but here is all this thick air hanging here in the canyon.
It's hard having the kids home, because they don't know what to do with themselves, but I find comfort in them being here.
Please pray for everyone closest to this madness~~ the firefighters.
I'm off work tonight but I'll bet everyone is camping out in the parking lot again...
Well, start tonight my "monday" at work. Aaaaghhh! I'm up now at 5:30 am having spent practically all my time off sleeping.
My kids out of school today also, because of the poor air quality from the fires. So it really was like not having any days off. They are really "fun" to have around all day. (yeah right). When one's an
the other one's a
So feeling crabby now, even though it's payday (such as it is) and I have what seems like a mountain of work to do before I go to work.
Yesterday, the girls played outside in the first part of the day before noon. I didn't think anything of it because I had been to the grocery store early in the morning and at that time the sky was clear and no identifiable smoke in the air.
well, went to sleep and woke up at 2pm. the girls were still outside playing but the air was practically unbreathable. Little pieces of ash were trickling down from the sky.
"look mommy," my 9 y/o said you can catch them!"
How sad is that?
I immediately got them both in the house under air conditioning.
After picking up a hundred Bratz dolls and all their little dolly ammenities and their dolly house.
The air stung my throat, and eyes just walking to the mailbox.
As it turned out someone had set an arson fire nearby that was extinguished early on....
I wish I knew who did this kind of crap among all the fear, and the fleeing of homes, and sadness. This person doesn't deserve to even live here in the U.S.
They need to be caged up somewhere on an island all by themselves for the rest of their lives.
Missing the bluest, most gorgeous ocean of Hawaii.
No, it is not my motherland, but a lot of people think of my olive skin and dark hair that i'm Hawaiian
I am actually a white girl from Michigan. born and raised.
I am transporting myself to Hawaii in my mind a lot these days. Living there for 2 years was one of the most blessed times of my life.
The year round 80 degree weather and beaches within 20 minutes of anywhere. As someone perpetually attracted to water, it was heaven, it was medicine for the blues, and it was home.
Floating on my back, looking up at the bluest of skies.
Snorkeling in Waikiki and also in one of the world's natural coral reefs Hanauma bay was no less than AMAZING.
a homeless man who was out on the pier in waikiki threw me some cut up salmon, hot dogs and bread to feed the fish.
"break it up under the water in front of your mask!" he instructed.
When I did so, the warm current suddenly swirled to life in front of me with colors of beautiful fish, all friendly.
The man laughed excitedly to those tourists watching, "she's getting a fish show!!!"
To snorkle for me was to become one with them. You can breathe as a fish. move as a fish on the warm current, and float on top of the ocean, to watch in wonder, nearly 10 feet below you.
Like I said~~ Medicine.
For I am hurting from the load of work right now and responsibility, which ironically is a lot LESS than what I had as a foster mom in Hawaii.
For even then I cared for sick babies,
babies born addicted to crystal meth,
children who'd been sexually abused
kids who'd been living in a tent.
Right now,emotionally, believe it or not, the "blue skies" elude me. I am trying to make sense of why I left Hawaii but I CAN NOT.
I am trying to make sense of why I came to California, but I CAN NOT.
What seemed like grass is greener over here, was really,
the grass is watered artificially by sprinklers,
giving the illusion of green,
and the rest is on fire. Metaphorically speaking.
There's a teensy bit of respite now and then.
I thank God for that.
And why wouldn't anyone want to be completely honest?
Even if there is a fine line between honest and blunt, I secretly wish that sometimes everyone could become like jim carrey's character in the movie "liar liar".
And as ridiculous as the outcome may be, never lie, even by omission(leaving something out to appear as the truth.)
Last night, at work Supervisor #2 asked me would I be cranky if I just had one coke that night. *I forgot to bring 2 sodas to help me stay awake.
I replied, "No I never get cranky"
He says to me, "Never? Are you sure? because never is a long time dear"
Well, that's what prompted this blog. What I should have said was :"no, just having one coke will not make me cranky"
Heck yeah I get cranky! At that time of the month, at the kids sometimes, at shoplifters, at situations I can't handle.
Unlike other women, I just don't get offended by honesty, but like I said, there's a fine line.
who else is going to tell someone that the sweatpants they're wearing to the grocery store not only show their panty lines, but they're two sizes too clingy?
Who else is going to tell us if our breath stinks and smells like hot garbage and we need to gargle with febreeze and eat about a hundred of those teeny tiny concentrated marble mints?
who's going to tell our date the REAL reason they're not getting a second date is because they hate your kids, or you chewed with your mouth open, or you didn't put out for them?
Who will tell their date up front, "I'm broke. I can't pay for dinner. I am warning you now"
who will tell their date that their picture from High School is clearly 60 pounds ago and it was a poor choice to put on their profile?
Will you tell me? Will you be honest with me? I think the fine line is walked daily.
ie: how are you?
A: fine, and you?
Instead: How are you?
Well, I'm fine now, but so and so is getting on my damn nerves, and I got a speeding ticket, and I have a cold.
or well I am doing awesome, I got that raise I wanted, the electricity bill is finally down from the summer, and my kid was flunking algebra but now he's a frickin genius.
************************
The fine line:
wife: How do I look in these sweatpants?
Hubby: I think you look like a big pig, stuck in a mailbox, who just ran through a clothesline and is now trying wearing the wrong size.
Instead:
Hubby: I like your jeans better honey, they make you look so sexy, not that you're not sexy already....
See? a fine line.
such a night I cannot believe. The store was quiet at 3 a.m. In walks a guy on a cell phone, deep in conversation. He's looking, looking and asks supervisor #2 for Flowers.
Sorry we don't carry them.
Guy walks out. I still haven't even lifted my head to know who just walked in, I'm busy facing shelves.
I hear supervisor go past me and ask the dude "HEY What's your name?"
At this point I think some dude just shoplifted from us again
But OMG Supervisor just spotted
"Tyrese"(((((( from the FAST and The FURIOUS. )))))))
have you see that movie?
And he was like WAY way cool about getting his picture taken and even came back in the store ....
Wowwwwwww!!!!!sweetiegirlz and Tyrese~
Here is big old me, 5 foot 4 inches tall, traveling through life worrying about things that should not be stressed over. Also, lamenting that life is so SSSSSOOOOOOO hard.
I ordered a pizza. Pizza Hut. and this amazing thing happened. I opened the door, and there was a very very very short man who was I dunno, probably the height of a 3 year old.
You have to trust me, as someone who's taken care of a LOT of 3 year olds as a foster mom and raised 4 kids of my own. He wasn't much taller.
He was a dwarf pizza delivery guy. His arms were the shortest little things. He whipped out my pizza, was extremely kind. while I stood there wondering how in the world I can gain this man's super strong spirit in life.
He was dressed in full Pizza Hut uniform too.
When he was done here, he went slowly down my flight of apartment stairs, got in an obviously specially designed car and drove away.
It might've taken him a few more minutes to do all this than a normal pizza delivery guy,,,, but HE DID IT.
Amazing. My kudos to him.
In a world where people are so unkind and seemingly don't care how they appear or act toward others, but then whine whine whine because they are sooooo spooiled, we all need to take a lesson from this guy.
It's not how much crap can you handle in life...........
It's ***HOW*** you handle it!!!!
Just sayin'.
sweetiegirlz Blog (40)
prayers are needed URGENTLY for the people in the path of the california fires. It's so windy right now with gusts up to 50 mph. that it's so easy for more fires to start.
