I was in a department store yesterday, and inadvdertantly walked past a mirror, and glimpsed my self in a mirror...just the lower half in my new brand jeans.
Rather than being horrified, I thought to myself
"Wow, after the weight Ive lost recently, my butt is looking really GOOD!"
I modelled my newly hot butt in the mirror, happily thinking that it is now more like just an LCD screen, than the wide screen plasma it was before, and boy, my legs look waaaaay longer too!
I was feeling really good...until I noticed the mother with her stoller and two teenage kids staring at me like I was a complete nut job.
I then realised that all my self-esteem building thoughts I was having were actually
spoken out loud, and that I had appeared like I was actually talking TO my arse!!!
I looked at them, put my chin up, and said...
"Well, at least it can't argue with me... Bahahahahahahahaha!
"
And then quickly trotted off to the store's ladies room before I wet my pants laughing.
I'm still laughing about it now!
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a disease of the central nervous system. It is not contagious, but can be progressive & is always unpredictable. Its symptoms are varied and no two people will share the same symptoms. The cause of MS is unknown & there is no cure.
MS is the most common chronic disease of the central nervous system among young Australians.
Tasmania has one of the highest per capita rates in the world.
Who gets it?
Young adults – symptoms first appear between the ages of 20 & 50 years.
Female – 70 per cent of people with MS are female.
Caucasian – 98 per cent of people with MS are Caucasian.
Living in temperate zones – MS is generally more common between latitudes 40° and 60° north & south of the equator.
Have a relative with MS – 10 - 20% of people with MS have a relative with the disease, suggesting a genetic link.
What does it do?
MS occurs when the protective sheath (myelin) around the nerve fibres in the brain & spinal cord becomes damaged, causing random patches called plaques or lesions. These patches distort and interrupt the messages that are sent along these nerves. ‘Sclerosis’ means scar & the disease is labelled ‘multiple’ because the damage usually occurs at a number of points.
The symptoms of MS are varied and unpredictable
MS can damage the central nervous system in many different locations, which means no two people will share the same symptoms. Some of the more common symptoms include:
Blurred or double vision
Numbness or pins & needles
Weakness in the arms or legs
Loss of balance
Tendency to drag one foot
Loss of coordination
Extreme fatigue
Continence problems
Hand tremors
Loss of mobility
Problems with or changes in memory functioning
Speech difficulties and slurring.
MS can take different forms
MS can progress in different ways. Some people with MS may become seriously disabled. Others may have one or two attacks % then remain symptom free for the rest of their lives. The frequency & severity of attacks cannot be predicted.
The different types of MS are classified as follows:
* Relapsing–remitting MS – 85% of people with MS start with this type of disease course. Acute episodes of neurological symptoms occur, which last for days, weeks or months before completely or partially resolving. The intervals between attacks can vary widely but, on average, occur every one to two years.
* Primary progressive MS affects around 10% of people with MS from the outset. These individuals experience no relapses but a gradual onset of disability, which does not recover or reverse.
* Secondary relapsing–remitting MS – occurs in individuals who started with relapsing–remitting MS but then the relapses diminish in frequency or cease altogether. However, disability continues to accumulate. About 60% of people who start with relapsing–remitting MS develop secondary progressive MS after 15 years.
* Relapsing progressive MS – this occurs in about 5% of people from the outset, with relapses occurring and disability accumulating between relapses.
The cause is still unknown
The immune system defends the body but in the case of MS, the immune system attacks its own myelin, causing disruptions to the nerve transmissions. The trigger to the disease has not yet been discovered, but it is thought that genetic and environmental factors are involved. Research so far has found that, in nearly two-thirds of cases, a relapse has been preceded by a viral illness.
Diagnosis and treatment
Most of the symptoms of MS can also be caused by other conditions and do not automatically mean a diagnosis of MS. That is why often it takes many years to be diagnosed.
It can also change from one type to another, go from mild to severe, or go into complete remission.
There are no drugs to cure MS, but there are treatments that can modify the course of the disease and ease some of the symptoms.
Everytime I think of you,
I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away
And I'm wonderin' why you left
And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight
I hear your name in certain circles,
and it always makes me smile
I spend my time thinkin' about you,
and it's almost driving me wild
And there's a heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight
I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what I might say
There's a message in the wire,
and I'm sending you this signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight
In your world I have no meaning,
though I'm trying hard to understand
And it's my heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight
Chorus:
I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what my friends say
And there's a message that I'm sending out,
like a telegraph to your soul
And if I can't bridge this distance,
stop this heartbreak overload(chorus)
I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you,
I can lie to myself
And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight(chorus)
Ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I can lie to myself
Ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you,
I ain't missing youI ain't missing you,
I ain't missing you, ain't missing you, oh no
No matter what my friends might say,
I ain't missing you...
The police just took my ex-husband to his fathers house.
I have a cut on my hand, and a big bruise on my butt…but I still have my sanity!
For the last month, since I discovered David’s 5th affair during our marriage, he has been living on the property…firstly in the granny flat, and for this last week, in the spare bedroom. We have been separated under the one roof, but still on a couples rate Centrelink payment and still keeping the joint accounts.
Although, I do have one just in my name…I’m not that naive! Considering that he went immediately to the bank and cleared out the joint account, seems I was prudent in assuming the worst!
He has been telling me that he wanted to sort things out and hoped that soon we would be moving towards being husband and wife again. I was unsure that I even WANTED him back and was giving him some time to get his head together before I laid down the ultimatums, and hear answers to the questions that would finally answer that big question to me….did I want him back at all.
He’s been affectionate and giving plenty of hugs and kisses…even this afternoon, we snuggled together in bed for several hours.
Tonight, I found out that he has been continuing the affair with the internet woman since he came back. Despite telling me that he wanted to rekindle our relationship, and that he had made the decision to not have the internet again, until after he had had counselling about his ‘problem’. He has had a modem the whole time and he has been chatting with her...and web-camming since before he moved back to the house. He had actually been keeping the modem in his underpants while he was sleeping!
What brought on this shitstorm tonight?
This evening, after HE went to bed, I came back online on my computer and went bout my usual stuff.
I went back to the BBWChatCity site that I joined 3 days ago…after all, I am a BBW, I was separated and I was….well bored and wanting some gratifying worship from BBW crazy fans! So, sue me!!
I had a private chat request from a woman, who just happened to be the woman he had been having his most recent fling with! (See previous blogs for gory details!)
Some eye opening discoveries!
David has in fact he had been chatting online with her since January...and so in fact he was also cheating on her with the other woman who he’d had a fling with earlier in the year! Bastard!
I had a nice long talk with her...a truly lovely woman whom he had lied to and omitted to tell her was married. And boy, was she was mad about being made an instrument in his adultery, because she was married for 20 years to a guy who cheated on her also. Don’t mess with a woman who has felt it before!!
To make matters worse, not only had he been chatting with her, but been chatting with her AND her two children
When the shit hit the fan earlier in the month, he tried to spin it to her, and make out that we were already separated and that I was crazy stalker ex or something, who was just out to make his life a misery! Try spinning that when you just happened to omit the past 10 years of your life, and that you were married then at all! Well, I spose the part about poisoning his playground worked coz she told me to tell him she wants nothing to do with him and he'd better not come back to the BBWChat site coz they would tear him a new one if he did.
cont...
....I was mad as hell. The last time I was devastated. This time I was bloody furious.
cont....
I managed to get him to leave the car - I needed it. well, I had Multiple Sclerosis, and couldn’t be left stranded & well, his father had a car. Fortunately for me he had filled up the tank to the brim before he cleaned out our joint bank account, intending to have it for his own use!
I convinced him to leave the modem, so I could contact the places I needed to advise.
That was his first mistake.
Now his 2nd really BIG mistake was not using a FB password that I didn't know & telling my sister all his passwords the time he was caught before with her friend.
In my fury, I buckled down, and set about to poison his playground & pee in his paddling pool. I broke the cardinal FB rule & hijacked his FB profile & set about telling all his friends on FB what he had done to his poor trusting wife, in his own words of course, & what a bloody idiot he was.
His third mistake was not remembering how pissed off my sisters were and that now the wagons would be circling! My clever sister cracked the password (on only 2nd try. No imagination!!)of the BBW chat room he was trolling in,
yes, mike, my husband is a chubby chaser!
changed his profile photo to one of myself & him @ my nieces 9th birthday, added some wedding pictures & some fun background stuff.
By then, I had already tracked her down in that chat room , by joining every BBW chat room I could find & sending out the broadcast to find her, while charitably filling everyone on the site about him being married, which was something he had neglected to tell her & them, and that he was having a break with reality.
And as I had assumed, yes, she was in love with him, & yes, he wasn't because it was all in his head, again, and yes, he is a bloody idiot.
5th time caught. 1st time I’ve told him not to come back.
He's also going to have a really hard time going back to those chat rooms again!
Anger makes you strong, but it also makes you stupid. I’m usually such a caring, loving person, who'd considerate of others, and their feelings, but I was a REALLY different person that week!
And I'm a different person now.
Best thing out of all this, I have re-opened contact with the outside world again, and I’m finding it remarkable!
David has come crawling back begging for more time to get his head straight. I’m allowing him to stay in the granny flat, but have let him know I’m getting on with my own life, and that he has to be able to agree to some pretty intensive psychiatric counselling, he is banned from the internet for life, and he will bloody start taking Hornygoat's weed & Viagra if I’m going to allow him back in my bed ever again.
I love the idiot, but I know I deserve better and by God, I’m going to get it!
BBWfansdream Blog (5)