What is a Player - part 1

A player in dating is usually a person who uses their charm to emotionally manipulate others into falling in love with them. When their victim happens to fall in love, the fun ends for them: they drop the relationship and head to their next target.
For players, love is merely a game. And the way to win the game is to enter as many lives as possible and leave a string of broken hearts behind.

Will a player ever fall in love? While they may not necessarily fall in love with anyone, it is always best to live with the assumed answer that is no. Remember that for players, being in a relationship is akin to playing a game. While there is a chance they might fall in love, their interest does not lie in building a connection.

What is a player in dating
8 Signs You’re Dating a Player

It’s a rather common mistake to overgeneralize things. Indeed, players have certain attributes that cannot and should not be ignored. However, it’s important to search for the strong signs rather than blame all the people on a dating site for playing.

Take a look at these characteristics and judge people around you objectively.

1. They Come On Strong

One of the biggest attributes of a player is that they come on very strong. In other words, they’ll tell you lots and lots of sweet things, tell you outright lies, and play mind games. If you see this, don’t rush into believing they really mean everything they say.

Players come on strong because they need to charm you as quickly and efficiently as possible to have a successful booty call. It’s a severe problem if they don’t worry about the emotional intimacy most people who want from a real relationship.

2. Emotional Unavailability and No Sense of Commitment

When you go out with a player, you may notice they are emotionally unavailable. While you seem to think you’re in a serious relationship, they don’t support you. Also, they may seem unwilling to change their relationship status on social media or not meet your emotional needs

In the dating world, when you are going out with someone, you should usually feel some kind of commitment from them. However, players tend to play by their own rules and will look at relationships as games. This means they feel no need to commit to you or anyone else fully.

If you’re also into casual fun, that’s OK – but if you want something serious, you’d better avoid players.

3. You’re Doing Most (If Not All) of the Relationship Work

A healthy relationship is all about give and take. This means that you both put in the effort to try and make it work. That’s why doing most of the work in the relationship is one of the most common warning signs of a player in dating.

To get a better idea of your relationship balance, think of everything you and your partner have done together in the past year:

How many of the things happening were your initiative?
How many times were you the one to write and call first?
How many times did you say “I love you”?
How many times did they say the same?
How many times were you able to be physically intimate without it resulting in sex?
If you think about it and grow concerned about the numbers or the lack of balance, you may be dating a player. Or they are just a person who doesn’t meet your relationship needs.

Related reading: 10 Basic Needs in a Relationship: Are You Getting Them Met?

4. No Consistency

You can always count on players to be consistently inconsistent:

They may keep going MIA
It’s OK for them to ignore your texts or calls
No matter what happens, they just seem to be completely over it.
When you think the relationship is over, they’ll start to love bomb and pull you back in. This leaves many women feeling confused and causes them the unnecessary pain of being heartbroken over and over again.

to be continued/....